garagon0225
Member
Day 4
There are so many feeling going on and it has been beyond difficult to feel like I have control of myself. I feel like I have been avoiding the hard fact of how bad this addiction really is. But I can truly feel those negative effects it has on me and my everyday life. Not many people think this is problem, but it is like a drug that you can't stop, it distracts you from the things going around in your life, it numbs the pain of feeling less, just for a second. It takes away everything you want and keeps you down but like real drugs and alcohol. I know that change is needed and it will not come easy, I have only been posting here once a day, but I am going to start to post multiple times to help me in my process and put my mind of the track I want to be one. I need to believe in myself that change is possible and that it will take time to undo the damage this problem has done in my life. It is hard to quit the noise of the negative telling me there is no point to change now, you already fucked everything up, so why now? But I do hear the good in me yelling and fighting to overcome the bad. I need to focus on that and really, help the good get stronger, to help beat the bad parts of me. I am fighting to not give up on me! I can do this! I WILL CHANGE FOR ME!!!!
There are so many feeling going on and it has been beyond difficult to feel like I have control of myself. I feel like I have been avoiding the hard fact of how bad this addiction really is. But I can truly feel those negative effects it has on me and my everyday life. Not many people think this is problem, but it is like a drug that you can't stop, it distracts you from the things going around in your life, it numbs the pain of feeling less, just for a second. It takes away everything you want and keeps you down but like real drugs and alcohol. I know that change is needed and it will not come easy, I have only been posting here once a day, but I am going to start to post multiple times to help me in my process and put my mind of the track I want to be one. I need to believe in myself that change is possible and that it will take time to undo the damage this problem has done in my life. It is hard to quit the noise of the negative telling me there is no point to change now, you already fucked everything up, so why now? But I do hear the good in me yelling and fighting to overcome the bad. I need to focus on that and really, help the good get stronger, to help beat the bad parts of me. I am fighting to not give up on me! I can do this! I WILL CHANGE FOR ME!!!!