Day 31!
I haven't been on much as I've been trying to keep as busy as possible. I find that when things go quiet, the temptations and urges creep in and start making things difficult. Between work, kids' summer activities and in the middle of a move, I've been able to keep my mind busy.
Not to say that it hasn't been difficult. I have had a few close moments. There are times I've just stared at my blank phone and wondered what could one clip hurt? But would definitely start a chain reaction that could ruin everything I've built up so far.
I definitely have started to feel the small affects of the process. I've been able to feel more connected to my wife, appreciating the small moments together. I guess the guilt/paranoia that divided us is slowly chipping away.
It's nice to be able to look back and see how different things are compared to a month ago. For the longest time, I was wondering what the point was? I still had urges, my wife still doubted me and, at times, I was down right miserable. But to be able to see the small improvements in my life and relationships, has made me realize how worth it this fight is.
I'd like to thank all of you who have supported me for the past month. There is no way I could have gotten this far without each and every one of you. Thank you for the advice, checking in on me and for the friendship. This journey is far from over, there's still a long way to go, but I'm glad we are in this together