Check out Hamza's videos on youtube, he does many accurate (and good) guides on becoming a man! Send me a message if you ever feel lost or down, I've probably felt how you're feeling at some point in my reboot!It's been a really rough stretch for me. I have been undertaking this journey for around 2 years and I haven't been able to break free yet.
I feel extremely lonely, depressed, and worthless right now. It's probably because of my recent stretch of a couple solid weeks of rebooting, feeling great, and getting my life on track followed by periods of relapses and inability to follow my goals. I started my reboot journey back during the beginning of the pandemic. I was 17 at the time, and now I'm 19; when analyzing the past few years, I've realized not much has changed. I'm still dissatisfied with my life, chained to P, and riddled with anxiety, frustration, and lack of confidence.
I've recently realized that time is extremely fleeting and there are no second opportunities. This is my life and I have to put in the effort to shape it to how I want it to be. There are no shortcuts and definitely no redos. In the 19 years that I have experienced so far, I have definitely made mistakes that have got me into the situation I'm in, and I completely realize that now; I've regretted those 19 years, but the only real course of action for me now is to take those lessons to heart and improve upon myself every single day.
I can envision what I want my life to be like right now and in the future, and I'm going to build upon these aspirations. I want to experience those feelings of accomplishment, pride, and overall joy-fullness that has been missing in my life these recent years. While my struggles with P are an important obstacle for me to hurdle, this journey is about much much more. It may seem extremely corny but I need to learn what it means to be a man and have responsibility. I've meandered through life so far without purpose and without meaning, and I think that's a big contributor to my feelings of dissatisfaction.
My father is a huge role-model for me; he's the hardest worker I've ever met and he's sacrificed basically everything for my brother, my mom, and I. My entire life I've felt that's he's been there for me and fixed all of my issues in the past, and I want to be that figure for my own children one day. I need to learn to become independent and responsible and take accountability for my life, because these mental issues that I'm experiencing right now, while they may be lessened by external help and support, they can only really be fixed by one person and that is me. If I can't overcome these issues then how am I supposed to support those who need me in the future?
I'm glad that I feel so unbelievably low and unhappy right now; I'd much rather feel like this then be complacent and fine meandering through life. I don't want to be a failure in life who has to constantly rely on my family to take care of me. I don't want to be mediocre and have no aspiration. I want to and I NEED to continue to move forward and shape my life according to my standards.