After 90 days libido didn't come back

Rcgarcia

Member
Hello rebooters. It's me again. I've completeed 90 days porn free, but saddly, my performance is worsen than when I started. It more difficult for to have fantasies, without porn ,ALL my fantasies have fone away. I remember going to my job, I had spontaneous erections during the day. During my 90 day of free porn , I had sexual relations with my wife First month, but Second onde It was more difficult to turn me on. And in the Last month Very difficult. I recall in the First month of reboot or even before reboot, when I watched Still porn, If I pass one week with no masturbation and porn, I started to wshing have sex with my wife. Kinda of fast period to increase libido. Now, I feel the need to relieve my stress through masturbation, but so hard to get my penis hard, becouse lack of libido and fantasies. I am worsening. Has this happening to anybody.
 

Fappy

Respected Member
the 90 day mark isnt some magical number that everyone gets to and is cured. its just the industry standard time frame for beating a addiction, but its not set in stone.
the 90 days is great, but you may just be needing more time to recover. it seems like your body is telling you to give it some more time. its really bad if you force these things before youre ready, it can set you back even further.
 

Oscar40

Member
Hello rebooters. It's me again. I've completeed 90 days porn free, but saddly, my performance is worsen than when I started. It more difficult for to have fantasies, without porn ,ALL my fantasies have fone away. I remember going to my job, I had spontaneous erections during the day. During my 90 day of free porn , I had sexual relations with my wife First month, but Second onde It was more difficult to turn me on. And in the Last month Very difficult. I recall in the First month of reboot or even before reboot, when I watched Still porn, If I pass one week with no masturbation and porn, I started to wshing have sex with my wife. Kinda of fast period to increase libido. Now, I feel the need to relieve my stress through masturbation, but so hard to get my penis hard, becouse lack of libido and fantasies. I am worsening. Has this happening to anybody.


It is very normal for libido to come and go. Calm. Sometimes I also lose it for several days, and then it comes back. Libido is like the wind I think. Goes and comes. Even in women these fluctuations are more constant, and in men too.


You can take 3000 days of reboot that will not make you maintain libido all 365 days of the year. That just isn't so.

Remember: Everything in excess bores and tires. That's why excesses are bad. Everything, everything is excessively boring: sex, food, traveling, masturbation, work, exercise, love, study, music...etc...

Moderation in everything is the key to success.

Good luck. You will be better
 

Rcgarcia

Member
the 90 day mark isnt some magical number that everyone gets to and is cured. its just the industry standard time frame for beating a addiction, but its not set in stone.
the 90 days is great, but you may just be needing more time to recover. it seems like your body is telling you to give it some more time. its really bad if you force these things before youre ready, it can set you back even further.
Yes ok thank you. But what worries me is that feeling I am worsening. Is ok that the solution may take longer for me. But, shoudn't a little improvement is taking place?
 

SimonM

Member
Maybe you can think about what you could do to put yourself "in the mood". Feeling aroused isn't just something that happens on its own often but needs to be encouraged and nourished. When we're on P we get so used to using it to get us aroused that we may forget that other ways exist.

If you are seeking attraction/arousal to your wife - what used to work? Maybe you can plan a date that gets you two to have fun together? Maybe you need physical contact - not worrying about "performance" but just taking the time to cuddle, or do some dancing together... whatever you like doing. Have a shower together... Pay more attention to your partner the way you know she likes - maybe getting the "spark" going a bit again will help... (like tell her she's beautiful, or give her more hugs). I find that lacking porn my libido often rises when I'm taking the time to just be a partner to my wife...

Generally I would say worry less about sex and "performance" or arousal and more about building a loving connection. The rest may follow... especially if you don't put pressure on yourself to be in a particular place at a particular day number.
 

Rcgarcia

Member
Maybe you can think about what you could do to put yourself "in the mood". Feeling aroused isn't just something that happens on its own often but needs to be encouraged and nourished. When we're on P we get so used to using it to get us aroused that we may forget that other ways exist.

If you are seeking attraction/arousal to your wife - what used to work? Maybe you can plan a date that gets you two to have fun together? Maybe you need physical contact - not worrying about "performance" but just taking the time to cuddle, or do some dancing together... whatever you like doing. Have a shower together... Pay more attention to your partner the way you know she likes - maybe getting the "spark" going a bit again will help... (like tell her she's beautiful, or give her more hugs). I find that lacking porn my libido often rises when I'm taking the time to just be a partner to my wife...

Generally I would say worry less about sex and "performance" or arousal and more about building a loving connection. The rest may follow... especially if you don't put pressure on yourself to be in a particular place at a particular day number.
Yes , Nice suggestions. It always good to be romantic and having foreplay, I like It too. But what I mean is that when the libido is normal, we don't need create ALL this. I recall when I was ok, obviously this didn't happen every week, but If pass some days without masturbation, I woke up horny, I sent messages to my wife from my job , I got erection think about what we were gonna do at night. But now I don't have It anymore , more than 6 months. I don't know If It Will one day come back. It's Crazy.
 

Oscar40

Member
@Rcgarcia
libido changes with age too. That's normal.

Just today, for example, I am approximately 13 months into a full hardmode reboot. However, I don't walk around with a stick under my pants.

My advice to you is, find out what your true drive is today, without looking at how things were in the past, because even people who don't use porn have their drive changing as the years go by. years.

I have been abstinent for many months, however, my libido is normal. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't.

I firmly believe that abstinence will never improve a person's libido. The reboot shouldn't be about that. The reboot shouldn't treat you if I get a big erect penis or I don't.

The reboot should be something else that leads me to transcend and know myself, and to know what my life is like without an addiction. That should be the reset really.
 
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Fappy

Respected Member
Yes ok thank you. But what worries me is that feeling I am worsening. Is ok that the solution may take longer for me. But, shoudn't a little improvement is taking place?
have there been non sexual improvements? you might find, as i did, that the non-sexual benefits actually far outweighed the sexual ones. these included no feelings of crushing fatigue in the mornings or afternoons, better overall mood, i could enjoy things more, i was friendlier and more sociable, too many to describe. have a think about that, you may realize something.
 

WestCoast

Active Member
Hello rebooters. It's me again. I've completeed 90 days porn free, but saddly, my performance is worsen than when I started. It more difficult for to have fantasies, without porn ,ALL my fantasies have fone away. I remember going to my job, I had spontaneous erections during the day. During my 90 day of free porn , I had sexual relations with my wife First month, but Second onde It was more difficult to turn me on. And in the Last month Very difficult. I recall in the First month of reboot or even before reboot, when I watched Still porn, If I pass one week with no masturbation and porn, I started to wshing have sex with my wife. Kinda of fast period to increase libido. Now, I feel the need to relieve my stress through masturbation, but so hard to get my penis hard, becouse lack of libido and fantasies. I am worsening. Has this happening to anybody.
Gabe, the founder of this forum took 8 months. Keep up with it. Maybe check some blood work if it helps you feel better.
 
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