I like the perspective Chap! Congrats on 58 days, very solid stuff. In my own experience, being too hard on myself was very counterproductive. It’s a balance.happy labor day to everyone in the states. today i had originally planned to study and get caught up on my precalc school as im behind. however, things unfortunately were slow and unproductive. nevertheless, i will aim to get even one thing done such as taking a shower or setting up my budget for the month of september. there is no reason to be hard on myself for not doing what i had originally planned on doing. life is a beautiful mystery, and i think i am very lucky to be a part of it.
58 no P
thanks @Kraken i received ur awesome vibes, tysm!! it's been a pretty tough week; behind in school has got me stressing and i have been a bit unmotivated, but i have not given into P—and will not! looking forward to next saturday since i will most likely get to be w my girl; please send me all the best vibes to manifest it to happen lol. i will use this external motivation to get me through this week and caught up by saturday!I like the perspective Chap! Congrats on 58 days, very solid stuff. In my own experience, being too hard on myself was very counterproductive. It’s a balance.
Wishing you the best week and sending all the awesome vibes!
Awesome Chap! I will overnight the best vibes your way. A new week is beginning exciting to hear how it goes!thanks @Kraken i received ur awesome vibes, tysm!! it's been a pretty tough week; behind in school has got me stressing and i have been a bit unmotivated, but i have not given into P—and will not! looking forward to next saturday since i will most likely get to be w my girl; please send me all the best vibes to manifest it to happen lol. i will use this external motivation to get me through this week and caught up by saturday!
I have been MO'ing a lot lately. at least once a day. so I am going to challenge myself to go 3 days (including today) wo MO. i will start with a little victory and see how that goes.
64 no P
1 no MO
Not to kill your stride but be careful describing intimate acts here. I now speak for myself but it approaches trigger territory. I'm usually on the forum when I need to center myself and want to top off my motivation to continue, and this makes it harder.we kissed briefly and i was able to grab some areas for a few minutes before the show. as i was driving i’d rub her back w one hand or rub her thigh.
I think it's important to also consider the "why" here.and ik i really just need to “not touch” all the time
are there mental strategies or behavioral strategies that u have done that have helped u be less touchy or at least a little more in control?
may u elaborate on what u mean by stimulation please? i take that to mean like am i thinking visually (imagining a specifc scenario or act), or thinking of a smell (perhaps the smell of my SO), or thinking sensually (like focusing on my body and its sensations as i MO)Consider what (stimulation) you think of when you engage with MO.
by refreshing do u mean that to be like like the verb to refresh (like a computer browser)? or refreshing like a refreshing drink (like it's new and restorative). i think u mean the former, right? i will be candid and admit that when i MO, it is definitely done with visualization (using my imagination) as well as pics of my lady. so im just inferring that u mean that doing it the way i have been doing it can rubberband me back to relapse, correct? and i have honestly been having this preoccupation for some time now, because part of me is concerned that maybe my PMO like tendencies have shift to my lady (yes, i have not watched an P, but i do regularly MO to my girl)'Refreshing' pornographic material in your mind's eye can gradually rubberband you back to relapse. Even if it's your girlfriend you are imagining, that seems plausible.
i feel like this is true and is spot on.Consider that your fixation with touch may be a figment of PMO addiction.
Yes, this is what I meant.thinking visually (imagining a specifc scenario or act)
Exactly. What is a picture of your SO (naked or showing, likely) if not an image of an exposed woman. And what is porn if not videos or images of exposed women performing sexual acts? Personally, I think these two are far too similar for your brain to understand the difference. Consider also the concept of 'habituation' applying here. i.e. your brain decreasing the response to a stimulus after repeated exposure. By continuing to MO to your SO by yourself, your brain may excite you less when seeing your SO in person. Despite having 'circumvented' P by using images of your SO, it may yet cause problems. If you start feeling less sexually attracted to your SO, if the sex becomes more about O instead of the intimacy and passion... You'll know what I mean. .it can rubberband me back to relapse
You're welcome dude, I'm glad for the interaction.thanks again @BrassBalls707 for everything u said!
do u think that if i were to MO only to my imagination and not to ANY pics of my SO, that would continue to perpetuate this PMO to SO-MO? is the ideal goal of MO to soley be sensual with no kind of visualization attached to the experience. this is where i think it becomes really subjective for us. i would like to continue to MO, however, just doing it by "feel" is not as stimulating as, perhaps, thinking of my SO. i'm curious to know what ur thoughts r on this. i want to add, however, that i think this is why it is not only crucial to do 90 days of no P, but also 90 days of no MO, since like u say here: (quote below)By continuing to MO to your SO by yourself, your brain may excite you less when seeing your SO in person. Despite having 'circumvented' P by using images of your SO, it may yet cause problems.
What is a picture of your SO (naked or showing, likely) if not an image of an exposed woman. And what is porn if not videos or images of exposed women performing sexual acts? Personally, I think these two are far too similar for your brain to understand the difference.
a query, i myself have pondered many nights with. i will add that i am convinced that at the very least, SO-MO is an extension of PMO most definitely if pictures or videos are involved. i remain uncertain about my imagination. what r ur thoughts?How can you be absolutely sure that this SO-MO is unaffected by your PMO addiction?
all amazing great points that i do hope to mention to her in some future conversations if neededWhat will you do if the images you have don't excite you anymore? What if your SO is unwilling or unable to send more? What if your need for digital sexual stimulation strains your relationship? I could be exaggerating because cynicism comes easy to me, but think on it and see how your SO responds to this. You can talk to them about it, if you think it to be a problem.
I believe balancing MO as a PMO addict is a pipedream. Personally, I think it to be the same as an angry drunk saying "I won't hurt anyone or get in trouble this next time I go drinking!"is the ideal goal of MO to soley be sensual with no kind of visualization attached to the experience.
Yes. As per 'habituation', you'll get bored of your imagination and seek inspiration. Be that pictures of your SO or porn, again. I personally don't see an upside to MO anymore. I had considered it myself, but I realized it would eventually enable porn use and swore it off.do u think that if i were to MO only to my imagination and not to ANY pics of my SO, that would continue to perpetuate this PMO to SO-MO?
I had a short lived relationship years ago and did the same SO-PMO you describe. I never managed to separate the two, and eventually went back to using. Partly due to the breakup, but also because my interests became more and more deranged. I had to find the next best 'exciting' thing. All this material was just fuel for my imagination. Although I'm imaginative, it could never beat the onslaught of porn I could browse online so I always went back despite my best efforts. I got frustrated because it took me too long or because it was too hard to focus on the two at once. It may be an ADD vulnerability to more easily grasp for the low-hanging fruit, but choosing the path of least resistance is also a very human thing in general.what r ur thoughts?