hi, i’m chap :)

chap

Active Member
1

today i have lots to do, an english essay rough draft, work related meetings, then my actual shift afterwards. one tiny thing at a time. happy fourth of july if ur in the US everyone!
 

chap

Active Member
4

four days of no porn. yesterday i masturbated, but i just used my imagination. for me that’s a win. still going strong and coming out of the mood i was in. i’ll keep on sailing. ⛵️ onward brothers
 

chap

Active Member
6

haven’t really had the impulse to watch porn which i’m happy about. i saw @Blondie respond to @First_step_thousand_miles where they spoke about meditation and routine.

i really want to develop better habits especially since come fall im going to be super duper busy. but i just don’t feel like it ughh. especially meditation, im really impatient so i avoid it.

but honestly, i believe it would help me to slow down and get mindful. and actively practice good habits to acquire good virtues. how do u guys deal and cope w this?
 

chap

Active Member
what are ur thoughts on masturbating to ur imagination. that’s what i have currently been permitting myself to do as an alternative to porn. i do wonder though however, if when i imagine masturbating—if i do so to my lady that i’m entangled with rn, would u personally consider that to be a form of objectification? i love her very much and desire her more than just infatuously; she is what i emotionally, intellectually, and physically/sexually desire.

so i’d feel much more comfortable imagining engaging in sexual acts that would get me off as opposed to watching real life sexual acts with girls i do not know and have zero connection with whom by the way, may perhaps be forced or pressured into the industry. i feel terrible knowing that a lot of these adult stars are just people trying to live day by day and by circumstance became an av star and may perhaps not like it at all, or worse, are being forced and coerced into doing it. it feels a lot more objectifying watching it than by imagining it.

however, my ultimate goal is to masturbate sensually and not even have to imagine it. but is that really possible? perhaps meditation can allow me to free up my mind so i can masturbate w zero thoughts. but that sounds so foreign and practically impossible. just a query i have that i would like to share with you all. i humbly request a respectful, nonjudgmental safe space. thanks ⛵️ onwards!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Hey @chap. This is a good question. In my opinion, I think there is no problem whatsoever in "objectifying" your Lady. Obviously, there could be limits to that statement, but in the sense that I'm getting at, she's your Lady, and there's nothing wrong with the benefits that come with that right. She can be both an outlet for your fantasies AND a true source of friendship, companionship, and intellectual stimulation. I don't believe one rules out the other. So make of that what you will.

However, I would say regularly MOing can really set you back in your recovery, even if it's to your Lady. This habit is so intrenched with porn, that for many of us, it's very hard to separate the two, especially at first. Obvious, everyone has to do what they feel is right, and it certainly isn't "wrong" but in my experience, abstaining from MO has really helped me in the long run.

Best!
 
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