Definitely not alone, just two-ish weeks ago I had to tell my fiancé that I was struggling with hardcore pmo again after not using it for over three years. Shit’s tough sometimes. But it’s far better to be making progress than hiding things. Those three months I was using hardcore pmo and hiding it were kind of hell. I feel a ton better now that I am back in the forum and moving forward once again. Life has its ups and downs but it’s worth the ride.
What has been working for you in this journey?
Sending you the best,
Kraken
wow, kudos to you for being able to speak with your fiancé about your struggle. i think that is a very powerful thing to do. i have a pretty small, but supportive group of close friends and select few family members who are aware of my journey.
i hope your fiancé supports you in your journey as well!
one thing i noticed after my recent relapse is how anxious and hidden i was when it came to my devices. since previously, i’d have stocks of porn and screenshots of people i know—and the fear of being exposed or someone finding out constantly kept me on edge and even irritable about people using my devices. i feel far better actually
KNOWING i have nothing to hide when i am committed to this journey of never returning to porn. so i definitely agree with you in regards to
making progress over hiding.
i did not realize how essential this forum is for all the men, women, and others who have vowed to make this crucial change in their life—this has been one thing that’s actually making this journey even possible for me. i have no idea who any of the members on this forum are, but we all collectively have a common goal and offer different pov’s as well as insights into the path of
becoming. there’s also a level of anonymity that—i believe, in my opinion—makes a lot of us feel
CAPABLE of telling our stories and being
VULNERABLE, which is a virtue that many of us, oftentimes men, unfortunately are not encouraged to exercise. with that said, this forum makes a big difference!
one thing i’ve also tried to practice is
being occupied. the busier you are, the more things you have to do, the more people you’re around, then the less likely you’ll be able to even have the opportunity to engage in pmo. now, that may not always be the case. i noticed there have been times where my urges were so strong even in the most busy of situations, and i’d find a way to sneak a slip in. easily put,
keep yourself so occupied that you don’t even think about pmo.
i tend to think
A LOT. and probably 90% of the time, they’re irrational, negative thoughts.
i think this is important just in general. every day is an opportunity to challenge your thoughts and that psyche of yours. what has helped me do that is to externalize my thoughts and have a conversation with them—
LITERALLY. i’ve noticed that verbally conversing with myself (on my solo runs, walking by myself when there’s no one around, or driving in my car by myself) has greatly reduced levels of uncertainty as well as rationalize the irrational. many times you may lose the battle and succumb to your negative thoughts, but ultimately, we have control over them. i think the effort to try to change how you think is big though.
very big. similar to how we have to fight the urge to pmo, sometimes we slip, but we can learn and grow from it, right?
TLDR: kudos to you kraken! heightened anxiety and irritability when hiding pmo ways—progress>hiding. forum is extremely essential in path to becoming. keep yourself so occupied that you don’t have a chance to even think about pmo. talk to yourself, literally.
btw. i’m finishing up day 5. a week has nearly passed already with no pmo. that’s what i’m flipping talkin’ about! i’m going crazy over my crush and that’s got me jaded a bit. i’m doing the best i can to not think about her and just focus on me. i have a track meet tomorrow and i’ve had some pretty bad race anxiety this whole day. i’m going to run the 3k and the mile, wish me luck!