Reboot Journal.

Shreezy

Shreezy

Member
Day 2 - Everything is going pretty good. I have been meditating a bit. Also, I have an exam (for which I have been preparing for the last 1.5 years) in 5 days (on 27th). I might update about how I have efficiently blocked everything on my laptop (with a password that a friend has) while retaining administrator privileges, after my exam.

Edit- I relapsed on the morning of 20th so this was my Day 2, not Day 3. Edited that.
 
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Shreezy

Shreezy

Member
Day 6 - I was revising for my exam which is due tomorrow. I am feeling goddamn stressed so I logged in here to post this. I took a drop year instead of college to prepare for this examination and I was not able to revise properly since I gave myself only a few days to revise two-years worth of syllabus (Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics). The only reason I haven't gone completely crazy about this fact is because I have another attempt (The exam is conducted twice a year) at the end of July. Here's hoping, I will, at the very least score in the 95th percentile, as my actual aim is above 99. I read about the benefits of NoFap on memory and concentration and I have personally experienced them before too. Maybe tomorrow during the exam I will be able to reap some of those benefits, although 6 days ain't much but it's still something.

For anyone interested, It is the JEE examination and is considered one of the toughest exams in the world. It also has about a million registered candidates appearing for it, throughout my third-world country (India). It is probably the only way that I have (for a long time at least), to get out of here since there is a serious lack of opportunities here. Just so that anyone reading can get a perspective, there are only about 40k seats available (Including all the branches) for the million people appearing for the examination.

Godspeed.
 
Shreezy

Shreezy

Member
Day 8 - I made the mistake of bringing my phone into the bedroom and opening reddit on it (that's my weakness, NSFW subs). As I proceeded to look at some very limited posts on reddit for 2-3 minutes and then subsequently opening a video sub where I was not able to watch the videos due to DNS blocking, I unblocked the DNS and was about to head back to the sub when my brother entered my room and started talking to me. I had to literally hide my boner under the table, since brothers never knock on each other's doors (as far as I know). As we talked, I gradually became aware of what I was about to do and I blocked the DNS, Opened another blocker that blocks Reddit and Playstore for 48 hours, deleted the history and then gave my brother the phone when he headed out to put it back in the living room.

It won't be that difficult for the next few days, since I'm headed to a lakehouse resort with my family for the week where I won't be using my phone at all and even if I do, at least one member of my family will be with me all the time or I would be out in nature. I will still up my guard just in case.
Also, I am not resetting my streak atm because I personally don't consider this a relapse, however if I had looked at even just one 10-20 second video on the video sub, I would've reset it. Also a fresh streak would make me much more prone to relapse considering I will be at Day 0 again.

Godspeed.
 
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