working on it

JuneJuly

Member
so ive been edging a little today which im reading is kinda mixed on whether it counts or not but for me im not considering it broken until I release completely (and its more 15-30 seconds and not with a strong rxtion anyway). while I understand it can be not best for rewiring my brain, im comfortable continuing on not releasing for my first go around with this and fully expect to make it day 14.

having said that I will also be more mindful of edging for this week, and just thinking of never even engaging the lower area whatsoever seems 10000x more difficult

ive already noticed positive aspects in my life such as my focus, and attitude towards others when socializing so we'll see after 2 weeks if I make it. id dont think ive gone 14 days ever since I discovered this

also reading the book that was recommenced and find it helpful, but almost 100 pgs in and waiting for the instructions on how to proceed with the reboot according to it
 
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JuneJuly

Member
think I am focusing on is: "Goal is to seek please from interacting with real people without screen" and I already feel my brain rewiring LOL.

this is good

telling my brain, "I won't even edge" I can feel myself changing already.
 
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JuneJuly

Member
Day 8 done, onto day 9

My body definitely wants to release but sticking strong discipline. I'm starting to feel disconnected from my sexuality without releasing
 

JuneJuly

Member
Andddd I'm back to day 0 lol.

The biggest issue it turns out wasn't alcohol/drugs etc but socializing with people in real life and then ruminating and thinking about it too much and that's what got me to release. Already I can tell how POWERFUL your motivation in life becomes when you stay disciplined with this.

I also felt some anxiety and regrets about a missed opportunity with someone which led to the release but the good news is that after releasing imo I felt better clarity that I in fact made the right decision not going forward with it. Or at least leaning more in that direction

---


Anyway back to day 0 and came within 9-10 hours of completing day 9.

Goal remains the same: Get to day 14.

Minutes later it doesn't feel worth it, but hey nothing I can do now. Just have to laugh about it and get back to trying to attain the 14 day goal if not longer.
 

anubu0

Active Member
Hey June! Sorry to hear about the relapse; learn from it and don't let the same situation happen again. Try to immediately get back in the swing of things!
 

JuneJuly

Member
Hey June! Sorry to hear about the relapse; learn from it and don't let the same situation happen again. Try to immediately get back in the swing of things!
thank you!! yes im realizing when life situations come up si the MOST tempting so I need to act on it or find other ways to deal with it... also the toughest times seem to be right before I go to sleep and right when I wake up
 

JuneJuly

Member
day 1 done

biggest obstacle is outside factors fucking me up mentally, I think it's not having to do with this (this is just a crutch, or way to relieve emotion) but my real life right now feels pretty shitty.

will still try to do this but last 2 days or so fucked me up a lot
 

anubu0

Active Member
day 1 done

biggest obstacle is outside factors fucking me up mentally, I think it's not having to do with this (this is just a crutch, or way to relieve emotion) but my real life right now feels pretty shitty.

will still try to do this but last 2 days or so fucked me up a lot

Hey June. P addiction is a tricky thing in that it can be rooted in a lot of different things. For most men it's feelings of social inadequacy and loneliness but it can be a multitude of things. For me, I think it was a combination of loneliness and social inadequacy but also heartbreak and loss, which I guess are combined. While I haven't recovered yet, I think I've managed to transform my P addiction from one that provided relief from distress, to just a "simple" P addiction in which I feed urges. While it's still an addiction, I don't really have to deal with those other external problems which has helped my mental state tremendously.

If I were you I would take some time to figure out what it is that is making you unhappy or unsatisfied with your life. Obviously P is one thing but what about the other stuff. If you're going through a lot of things, that list might be long but identify problems that you can take steps to address right now. For example, for loneliness, I reached out to some people from my childhood that lived in the area but that I hadn't remained close with. Now, I think they are some of my closest friends and I'm able to be satisfied with my social life.
 

JuneJuly

Member
Hey June. P addiction is a tricky thing in that it can be rooted in a lot of different things. For most men it's feelings of social inadequacy and loneliness but it can be a multitude of things. For me, I think it was a combination of loneliness and social inadequacy but also heartbreak and loss, which I guess are combined. While I haven't recovered yet, I think I've managed to transform my P addiction from one that provided relief from distress, to just a "simple" P addiction in which I feed urges. While it's still an addiction, I don't really have to deal with those other external problems which has helped my mental state tremendously.

If I were you I would take some time to figure out what it is that is making you unhappy or unsatisfied with your life. Obviously P is one thing but what about the other stuff. If you're going through a lot of things, that list might be long but identify problems that you can take steps to address right now. For example, for loneliness, I reached out to some people from my childhood that lived in the area but that I hadn't remained close with. Now, I think they are some of my closest friends and I'm able to be satisfied with my social life.
these are good ideas thank you.

I relapsed again so in like 18 hrs will be back to day 1

Especially last 2 days (since breaking it) I have been incredibly angry and snappy. It doesn't help that things in my real life are not going great either dating wise but I've never felt so mad in my life. I'm not sure what the combination is but I think my body is just as mad as me for going 8 days AND dealing with the real life stuff.

I'm not sure what to do right now, I honestly feel like mentally my problems are way bigger than this as you said bc this anger is something I have not felt in a very long time.
 

JuneJuly

Member
having felt this angry in a while. I don't know what's going on but its like exploded since I relapsed again,

feel like im back in puberty with all my hormones raging honestly
 

JuneJuly

Member
finished with day 1

feel like a zombie, anger issues still affecting me

I think my decision making skills have suffered a lot recently
 

JuneJuly

Member
Tonight was a breakthrough! I think I am VERY slowly starting to get rid of some of the past certain kinks I had which were a major factor in why I was releasing so much.

While it was bc of something that ended up not working out, this is first time in a while I've felt like this. Feels really good. Another 18 hrs or so to day 3. It feels easier than the first time I started this, but then again don't want to get too confident
 
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