joepanic
Respected Member
Yes I truly believe there is no point in looking in the rear view mirror perhaps thats why its so small and the windshield is so large. Its one thing to never forget who you were,,, that way you won't repeat it. But to base your future on your past is counterproductive. Your not that person anymore. No one sets pout to be a porn addict. We were pretty much dragged out of a what could have been a good life and dragged into this shit life of a porn addict. Many people may or may not have been hurt as a result but in my opinion no one was hurt more than the addict himself. In my story my wife knew I surfed a crap load of porn. She doesn't know I was outright addicted to it for so many years or some of the genres I was into and it shall stay that way. She does have some idea of why I watched it She couldn't care less that i watched it as long as I didn't involve her in it which i haven't. It never affected our marriage, She knows I gave it up for my own reasons. It's mentioned many times here the hurt that a porn addict causes to a partner, and yes all of it is true. But that is the only hurt that is allowed to be discussed here at rebootnation. Many times an addict might mention how their partner might have hurt them in some way along the way but it really doesn't get discussed in any depth, Porn addiction needs to be a much wider conversation. Less judgmental and a more supportive. I mention this mainly because the mandate of this site is to help people rewire their brains by supporting them while they withdraw from porn. But many of the topics seem to gravitate towards fixing relationships or fixing the damage to partners. Unfortunately am injured soldier can't drag another injured soldier off the battlefieldJoepanic-
And this is why I post things here on RebootNation... I really think your response to both my fears and Gracie's comments are so important and relevant for me in my situation and I greatly appreciate what you have shared.
I think the most important thing that really stood out to me was the following statement, "I would say you "used to live a lie" but you no longer are." This is so true and I have never stopped to think about it that way. I am no longer a slave to porn - I am no longer living a double-sided hidden lifestyle that is, and was, and will always be a lie. You are correct. I """""used"""" to live a lie. Your statement free's me up from the mental overload I had so Thank You for that incite.
Post often it helps me it helps you