17yr old porn addict


New Member
i was exposed to porn ever since i was a kid, my dad used to watch it whenever it was just me and him in the house while my mother was at work or school. i have memories from when i was 3 i would walk into the house from playing outside with my friend and he would be watching it on the computer and wouldnt even turn it off when he saw i was there. i began to tell my friend what i would walk in on my dad doing and he showed me what it was that my dad was watching. he gave me the website and the first thing i ever searched up on my own was xxx. it brought something new to my young mind and i did not know that this would be the root of a lot of my problems today. i was probably around 4 or 5 when i began watching porn on my own but i didnt start masturbating until i was 7. i began doing it everyday sometimes with porn sometimes without it but i did it practically everyday. eventually i moved to texas and i still continued to feed my brain with porn and masturbation. i was doing all of this while also playing football and i am a genuinely good football player. one day during the middle of the pandemic it was late at night i probably had already masturbated once before this time but i happened to come across a same sex porn video. i will not go into detail but after i finished i felt disgusting and as though i had ruined my life. after i was done i began to question why did you do it? i realized that it was all a blur. i had looked up one of my favorite types of porn at the time and in between all of the straight porn images happened to be a gay one. the shock that i got was more than i had felt over 8 years i had been masturbating. the next couple of days did not feel real i had no motivation to do anything i felt embarrassed and uncomfortable around people. about a month passes and i find out about nofap/semen retention and i learned about the importance in retaining your semen and how watching porn can destroy your mind and i saw myself with some of the symptoms that were being shown to me. well that was in 2020 summer and i still have not mastered no fap/semen retention. and i am still addicted to porn and at this point i am 17, a well rounded athlete with a few college offers and i seem to just not be able to break this addiction. the types of porn i watch has escalated even more to transgender and even sometimes gay. and after every time i watch it i feel disgusted with myself and like a disappointment. i constantly tell myself that i will break this addiction by the time i am 18. i even had a case of pied when i was 15 having sex with a girl i had initially had sex with before. the second time though i had told her to come over and right as i put it in my erection went away. there are times that if i masturbate before a football game i do not perform to the best of my abilities. i know that i am a straight man but porn has shifted my brain so much into this false sense of reality. everytime i masturbate i notice a different side of myself i dont feel like myself i feel like i am out of my body. and everytime i finish i come back down to reality and i have to deal with the realities of wtf i just watched. i have noticed that whenever i smoke weed is some of the only times i have watched the most extremes of porn. so today june 29,2022 starts the true shift of my mind back into a normal person. i hate that i became this way and it is something i never wouldve thought could happen to me. i am going to put all my energy towards my football craft and working out everyday. i am also trying to stop smoking in the morning because whenever i do i lose my motivation to do anything for the day. the longest streak i have had on no fap since when i found out about it is 12 days and i can truly say i felt my best in those 12 days. recently i lasted 5 days without it and everything i did i simply just felt good. my workouts were better, i was able to have genuine conversations with people, i felt like there was value in life and i wss only 5 days in so i couldnt imagine 30 days. i have heard of flatlines and for me specifically i have not experienced them and i think that is due to none of my streaks even prolonging past 14 days. i am ready to take my life back and i am ready to fight.


Active Member
I understand what's the matter with you. Very often bad parenting and being neglected often leads us to some terrible failures and moments in our life. You managed to do it for 5 days. You can do it for 1 month. Trust me. In the reboot process, 1 month without MO is essential. And so, I believe you can do it too.
Update your journal every day or every week....this is will surely help you.


remember its an addiction you are up against, be kind to yourself and especially when you slip up, just get back up and try again.