A relapse I feel is one too many

The title says it all. A relapse one too many. 8 yes under the belt. 8yrs down the drain. Shall I continue troubling myself locked in a cage and feeling suffocated by this addiction? Tbh I don't know how long and I can't deduce the future but what I can predict is that I'm not staying down. Yes... my evil hijacker( so I call him) has truly enjoyed being in the driver seat for and has taken away from me many moments I could ever seem to taste at a life of freedom. He's truly happy but at what cost? My happiness? My freedom, self esteem, confidence, respect towards the other gender.
It has created this delusion of what sex is supposed to be and how its supposed to be performed when deep down I know that's never the case and with that in mind, I still seem to ever draw back. I know this journey's not going to be easy and it's going to take the most I've put in if I'm going to take back my life kick my hijacker to the curb.
Here that hijacker. Enough is enough. You think u have been controlling my life? And that's only coz I let you and now its time I look you into your eye and say. IM TAKING BACK MY LIFE!!! And nothing you or anyone will do to stop me
 
I hope you overcome this and I'm also here for the recovery (day 1 gone) but what the so called "hijacker" took away from include yours and more like:
Trust from my siblings
My dreams
And just a lazy self hating dude locked up in an "imagination" world (if such exists) trying to convince himself that he's living "the life" he wanted 8 years ago
 
Hey anthonE777,
Thank you so much for morale and just so you know I'm rooting for you too all the way. This journey's not going to be easy and deep down we all know but what the "hijacker" doesn't know is that he's only in the driver's seat coz we let him. We're the captain of our own boat and porn has done nothing but make us feel worthless.
You have come to the right place and that's a big step and that you've seen a problem and want to work on it. Just take one day at a time. No matter how hard it becomes stay true to yourself and remember why you began in the first place. Try to visit this site everyday or week and you'll see that you're not alone and have never been. We're all here for a reason and are all rooting for you. You can do it. Let's take back what's ours🤝
 
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