HOW DO YOU GUYS DO THIS!??

I am utterly stuck, I feel so trapped and hopeless... to ANY guy who has overcome this beast... you are an absolute HERO and I want you to know how deeply I understand how hard you fought, and how intense the addiction is, and how deep the pit is... where I am right now. Its a dark, dark place, and i personally cannot find a way out. I HAVE willpower, I am an otherwise confident, smart, successful guy. But this has its evil talons so deep in me... Ive learned a lot about addiction, and myself, through all of this. I will never look at a drug addict, an alcoholic, a chronic gambler, or anyone struggling with an addiction the same way again. I am absolutely no better.

Seriously... to anyone who has overcome this... how did you do it?
 

TryingHarder

Active Member
There's no one answer for that. For me, it all comes down to old fashioned will power. Do I want to be a porn addict anymore? No. That means I have to do whatever it takes to stop the addiction. One day at a time. If you can do one day, you can do two. If you can do two days, you can do a week. If you can do a week, you can do two, etc, etc. Delete ALL porn from your devices. Get a porn blocker. Mess up your usual routine and habits that lead you back to porn. Exercise. Read a book. Spend time with other people. Arrange your fridge in alphabetical order. ;) Whatever it takes.

Also, knowledge is power: read as many threads here as you can, read Your Brain On Porn cover to cover, check out Noah Church's website. All of these things will help you understand your addiction and - more importantly - help you defeat it.
 

Oscar40

Active Member
I am utterly stuck, I feel so trapped and hopeless... to ANY guy who has overcome this beast... you are an absolute HERO and I want you to know how deeply I understand how hard you fought, and how intense the addiction is, and how deep the pit is... where I am right now. Its a dark, dark place, and i personally cannot find a way out. I HAVE willpower, I am an otherwise confident, smart, successful guy. But this has its evil talons so deep in me... Ive learned a lot about addiction, and myself, through all of this. I will never look at a drug addict, an alcoholic, a chronic gambler, or anyone struggling with an addiction the same way again. I am absolutely no better.

Seriously... to anyone who has overcome this... how did you do it?


I am going to speak from my experience, but I make it clear that my case does not necessarily apply to the others here.

My experience was the following:

The day I stopped believing that pornography was an "invincible beast" or a form of addiction impossible to overcome, curiously and ironically, I began, from that very moment, to have a "healthier" relationship with pornography.


In my case, I didn't say to myself, "I have to quit porn forever." No. I, rather, told myself: Oscar: You should have a more "moderate" and "healthy" relationship with pornography. You shouldn't give it up entirely, but you should at least reduce its use considerably.

In my case (I repeat: very particular) this served as a success room. For my part, I didn't commit to cutting out porn forever, but simply committed to having a healthier relationship with porn, and that worked for me, even curing my PIED.

Keep in mind that this is my very unique case and that this case would not necessarily apply to all the others here. But, I risk inviting you to perhaps approach it from that point of view:

Reduce consumption instead of trying to fight to eliminate it altogether. It is something very very risky, but I can affirm that it worked for me. Nowadays, if I "relapse" into porn, I do it very rarely, but, I am no longer the addict that I used on a daily basis as in the past. That, on my part, worked.

You can try. I come back and repeat: it can be risky, and it may not work for you. but:

And if it work in your case?

Maybe Yes or Maybe No.

I wish the best for you.
 

GBS

Well-Known Member
@CellarDoor409 - The other guys are right. There is no one way. My motivation is twofold: 1. I am pretty sure my wife will leave me if I go back, so that’s focus right there, and 2. No one told me this but after about three weeks I felt very different. It was amazing. Extraordinary. I got rid of what I was hiding, and through not being desensitised I felt a new man. I would go out in the streets with a billboard and preach the word if I could (except I’d be locked up!). So to say it’s worth trying and persevering with is a no brainer. I couldn’t go back now because why would I?

Was it hard for the first week or two? Yes it was hell. aAm I blessed with more will power than anyone else? No. I did it for my wife and then for me but I wish someone had told me in advance that the difference in you will be off the scale. It is life affirming. Please try. Good luck.
 

Honey98$

Member
I am going to speak from my experience, but I make it clear that my case does not necessarily apply to the others here.

My experience was the following:

The day I stopped believing that pornography was an "invincible beast" or a form of addiction impossible to overcome, curiously and ironically, I began, from that very moment, to have a "healthier" relationship with pornography.


In my case, I didn't say to myself, "I have to quit porn forever." No. I, rather, told myself: Oscar: You should have a more "moderate" and "healthy" relationship with pornography. You shouldn't give it up entirely, but you should at least reduce its use considerably.

In my case (I repeat: very particular) this served as a success room. For my part, I didn't commit to cutting out porn forever, but simply committed to having a healthier relationship with porn, and that worked for me, even curing my PIED.

Keep in mind that this is my very unique case and that this case would not necessarily apply to all the others here. But, I risk inviting you to perhaps approach it from that point of view:

Reduce consumption instead of trying to fight to eliminate it altogether. It is something very very risky, but I can affirm that it worked for me. Nowadays, if I "relapse" into porn, I do it very rarely, but, I am no longer the addict that I used on a daily basis as in the past. That, on my part, worked.

You can try. I come back and repeat: it can be risky, and it may not work for you. but:

And if it work in your case?

Maybe Yes or Maybe No.

I wish the best for you.
No matter the quantity, poison is poison. It may harm less but it surely will
 

Oscar40

Active Member
It may harm less but it surely will


I recommend that you abandon this way of thinking because it will not help you at all. I thought like that a few years ago and it didn't help me at all. That extreme and baseless way of thinking only made me feel more guilty and worse:

Remember: Excesses are bad and you are making a mistake and that is to stand on the other side of the end of the line. That really doesn't help much.
 

Gardenzio

Member
I am utterly stuck, I feel so trapped and hopeless... to ANY guy who has overcome this beast... you are an absolute HERO and I want you to know how deeply I understand how hard you fought, and how intense the addiction is, and how deep the pit is... where I am right now. Its a dark, dark place, and i personally cannot find a way out. I HAVE willpower, I am an otherwise confident, smart, successful guy. But this has its evil talons so deep in me... Ive learned a lot about addiction, and myself, through all of this. I will never look at a drug addict, an alcoholic, a chronic gambler, or anyone struggling with an addiction the same way again. I am absolutely no better.

Seriously... to anyone who has overcome this... how did you do it?

What's up Cellar.

To say you are not alone, and not saying it only to confort you, because I've also felt this way, my friend, and I'm pretty sure almost everybody here felt this way as well. So, please, don't worry, but in the same time do not allow yourself to dive in those kind of thoughts and to remain there.

For everything in life there is a solution, and with pornography addiction wouldn't be different. So please, remember that: for everything in life there is a solution. Everything but death, and in some cases we still can do something to slow it up.

I endorse @Oscar40's mindset. When I read it, it was a simple key to change the mindset we need to have to confront the addiction. So, do not think it's impossible to overcome, because it's completely false. There are a plenty of examples here of fellows who overcome PMO. If it was possible for one, for you won't be different.

Me myself also felt as you described, as I said to you. But I haven't allowed to be in this thoughts of hopelessness. I realized it and grabbed my life to myself.

You are the master of your destiny, the captain of your fate. Start driving your boat that is your life, and do not allow any other person or negative thought to control your life.

All the best.
 
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