The clean journey
- Thread starter Percival
- Start date
Percival
Active Member
I've concluded that I am basically yo-yo dieting when it comes to porn. I stop doing it for a while, then do a lot of looking for a couple of days or a week, and (eventually) stop again. Rinse and repeat. Right now I'm in the rebound phase, after a couple days of indulgence a week or so ago. So, constant vigilance.
Percival
Active Member
Thanks for checking on me, @Blondie. Life has been inside out for a while after I lost my job in December. I'm re-employed now and things might be starting to settle back down. Porn-wise: well, I hardly ever look at porn, as such, any more. I do still have time when I look up suggestive things, sometimes including nudity. That difference wouldn't impress anyone on the outside, but to me it is progress, as is the fact that it didn't get worse while dealing with the trauma of being out of work and job-hunting. And I'm not settling for just being less addicted: still working on replacing that temptation with better things.
Percival
Active Member
Trying to get back into the habit of posting regularly here, because otherwise I get back into the habit of looking at porn. I discovered AI sites where you can create your own images, including NSFW. The downward spiral works the same when you're "creating" your own content as when looking at any other site: start with SFW vanilla images and then go down from there.
I'm accepting that this temptation is one that I'll probably have to live with all my life, and I'll stay focused on 2 steps forward for every 1 back.
I'm accepting that this temptation is one that I'll probably have to live with all my life, and I'll stay focused on 2 steps forward for every 1 back.
Percival
Active Member
Been a couple of days now of not searching for girls, so I'm happy with that. I feel much better about myself at this place, but of course I also know I'll eventually be thinking that it wouldn't hurt to just a look a little. But it's just like alcohol: even one is too much.
Percival
Active Member
Good yesterday. Work has been getting busier; I'm just a couple of months into a new job and it's been slower than most new jobs at ramping up. But it has been, and that's good: idleness is indeed the devil's playground. So there wasn't much time or opportunity for temptation yesterday. Wife and I got to sleep next to each other last night: our youngest likes to be in bed with us and prefers to be right between us, too. Which makes sex considerably harder, but just getting to touch her helps.
Ironically, sex or fondling also increases the risk of temptation. I need to remember that porn doesn't actually help any, and that I'll feel worse afterwards.
Ironically, sex or fondling also increases the risk of temptation. I need to remember that porn doesn't actually help any, and that I'll feel worse afterwards.
GBS
Respected Member
Keep remembering that you wrote this. It’s platinum advice to yourself and to us all. You inspire.
Percival
Active Member
I looked a little over the weekend. It's amazing how quickly I forget and how it's almost like I don't even think about it when the idea occurs. Almost, but not quite. I suppose even that is a learned behavior: we can learn to not think and just do. Progress, nevertheless: I'm aware and I'm vigilant now.
Percival
Active Member
I almost started looking this morning, but didn't. Not out of virtue, only I got distracted with other things and now the temptation is a lot less. Which is how it always works.
Someone else mentioned that part of the self-discipline is being satisfied with your partner. I think that's very true: my wife is lovely and sexy and willing, but isn't a hot young thing any more. If I fill my mind with those girls (who will never smile at me, or go for a walk, or help with a kid's problem, or nurse me when I'm sick, still less actually have sex with me), eventually I'll subconsciously compare her to them and she'll come up wanting, because that's how nature works.
Someone else mentioned that part of the self-discipline is being satisfied with your partner. I think that's very true: my wife is lovely and sexy and willing, but isn't a hot young thing any more. If I fill my mind with those girls (who will never smile at me, or go for a walk, or help with a kid's problem, or nurse me when I'm sick, still less actually have sex with me), eventually I'll subconsciously compare her to them and she'll come up wanting, because that's how nature works.
GBS
Respected Member
What you said above @Percival about one’s partner not being as sexy as she was, but she’s still the one for you really…..that’s it…right there. She loves you and wants you. The woman on the screen doesn’t know you exist, and (certainly in my case) if she did know me would not be very interested (heavy understatement!).