Thanks to
@GBS for promoting
@Blondie's great post the other day, which is here:
This is just incredible, but you’re the proof it can be done. Thanks for always being supportive and sharing useful insights and to the next 17 months!
forum.rebootnation.org
I think I mostly agree with this: our attraction to porn is, at its heart, an attraction to women. And that is not a shameful thing: men are
wired to be attracted to women! You're
supposed to want to look at them! Whether you believe God created us so or through the course of evolution, it's the same result. I can certainly confirm this from my own experience: there is no trauma, no abuse, no "problem" of any sort in my past. I just really like the curves that women have, and I like to look at those curves. Doesn't even matter how satisfied I am with my own wife (and I am, and she takes good care of me), I still like to look.
And that's ok. It's almost exactly like how humans need to eat food, and so we like eating. That's perfectly right and not shameful at all. It only becomes bad when you eat without control. Likewise, our attraction to women is only bad when it's out of control. And it
is harder to control, at least for some of us (apparently there are men for whom this is
not a problem, or much of a problem, although that's very hard to quantify).
So yes, we shouldn't be ashamed because we want to look. Or when we do look: be ashamed when it is disrespectful and excessive and is controlling you.