The clean journey

[Percival]

Last week was pretty difficult: I spent a lot of time looking at girls. Towards the end, I realized something new: usually when I start bingeing, after a while I get a strong repulsion reaction and it breaks the cycle. That never happened and I wondered why, then realized it was because I'd set up filters and blocks so that, while I did search for and look at girls, almost all of them were only mildly sexy and only a few actually porny things got through.

So I'm actually counting it a victory. Not that I looked---I wish I had not---but that past me set up enough obstacles that present, weak me didn't get to see much. And present me didn't go to the effort to get around the blocks.

With the weekend, I had enough time away that the temptation is pretty low today. I hope and plan to build on that for this week.

 

[Percival]

The last few weeks have been very hard: I work from home, and that leaves a lot of opportunity to look at girls when no one is watching me. Work has been slow and rather boring lately and I've tried to fill it with games and podcasts, but the fact is that there is nothing at all as fascinating as sexy women. It finally occurred to me yesterday that if work is slow, then it is up to me to fill the down time with productive work, like setting myself learning projects and doing them. And, of course, if I fill the time productively there is less time for porn.

So when I get bored today I will set myself some work goals and use that downtime to become better at my job, instead of wasting it looking at girls.

 

[Percival]

Not perfect yesterday, but better. Work was much busier and that left much less time for temptation, of course, but I also did better at redirecting myself, and reminding myself that I'd done well for X hours and that I shouldn't spoil the streak now.