One day at a time

Today wasn't a bad day. I felt a little sluggish but that's understandable as I going through this recovery. I know it has it down falls along the way and I'm willing to take the step In order to achieve a better life.
Experienced some urges but nothing I couldn't handle. I've noticed my urges tend to become out of hand on the 4th to 7th day of my journey and have developed a strategy on how to combat those urges so as to continue working towards a better life. This time I'll try my best to commit and push through as I know it wont be easy but in order to reach my end goal I need to go through some hurdles.
I wish everyone all the best as you also take the step towards a better life
 
DAY 1

Going to keep posting here on each day and keep track of my progress as I take another try at putting an end to this. I started this and only I can end it. One day at a time
 
Today should have marked day 4 but couldn't keep the urges at bay. I had a slow day and didn't have any direct for my day when I should have and at least tried better to distract myself but failed. I've noticed that relying solely on will power isn't enough to beat this but need to put in extra work towards building habits that will help me reach my end goal. So tomorrow will be my reset and this time will try and distract myself with healthy habits and focus on why I started this and Hopefully this time find success
 
DAY 1: once more

This seems to be a habit of mine. Me finding myself each time resetting my counter or streak failing to succumb to the urges that come with Porn but never seem to stay down. That speak a lot meaning deep down I know that this isn't for me or anyone and nobody deserves to go through this turmoil and me thinking as though my will power isn't enough is my brain trying to take me back to where I don't want to be. I know this isn't easy and hasn't been for anyone that has beaten the clutches that porn has on you and I respect then all and their efforts.
Now it's about time I do the same and try again with each fall I gain more insight and reason of why this doesn't need to be part of my life and deep down only I know what I need to do. So I get back to the drawing and give another try
 
DAY 2

Overall great day. The urges were minimal and controllable as I tried to keep myself busy. Hopefully can continue this until a week and more as that feat seems to elude me each time just decide to stay away from porn
 
DAY 3 and DAY 4

i didn't post yesterday guess I just forgot but the good thing's that I didn't get involved in PMO so as today. The past two days have had their ups and downs especially that I felt really down for no apparent reason and can't even get anything done and my moods have been all over the place. Sometimes it's like I hear myself crying out for help wanting to be somewhere else other than this place or state. I try to look for the good in all but sometimes everything seems to fall out of place.

Everyday feels like a battle with myself and sometimes I feel I cannot take or I'm not strong enough to cope with the insurmountable urges that come my way and rather just give in but deep down it's not something I truly want and if I need to experience freedom one day, I'll keep going through hell hoping one day i shall taste the heaven that comes with freedom.
 
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I haven't been posting lately and for reasons I'm much sure of. I relapsed and binged for two days and feel like I'm going no where with this. I feel like I'm the same as I was three or four days. I don't really know where I'm going with this and I don't know what's next.

There are days where I feel like I can't get out of bed and I can do anything and can't even move my body. There are moments I reminisce as to how my life would be if I never visited that site when I was 12 but again without it I wouldn't be who I am today. I need to realise that I'm not getting younger and I need to try and be responsible for my actions.
 

forceisstrong2

Active Member
I haven't been posting lately and for reasons I'm much sure of. I relapsed and binged for two days and feel like I'm going no where with this. I feel like I'm the same as I was three or four days. I don't really know where I'm going with this and I don't know what's next.

There are days where I feel like I can't get out of bed and I can do anything and can't even move my body. There are moments I reminisce as to how my life would be if I never visited that site when I was 12 but again without it I wouldn't be who I am today. I need to realise that I'm not getting younger and I need to try and be responsible for my actions.
Hey man,

Sorry to hear you're struggling. Just know this. We've all been there. We've all felt that low. And it's the lowest low in the world. But you can beat this awful addiction. And when you do, I guarantee your life will be so much better. Mainly because your brain heals/frees itself from porn.

But for the time being... don't trust your brain/mind. At the moment it is an addict's mind. It will use every trick in the book to get you back watching porn again. I've been off porn for over two weeks now. The trick to quitting porn is not depending on your willpower. Because porn has hijacked your willpower. If you depend on your willpower, at some stage it will weaken and you will relapse.

So do some initial groundwork. For example, I've made it virtually impossible to watch porn on my computers/phone. I've installed porn blockers and I don't have access to the passwords. Also, sites that I could use as porn substitutes - like instagram, tiktok, youtube etc - I've blocked these too. I love youtube, but fuck it. I know it would just become a crutch. So for these few months, while I'm quitting porn, I'm quitting that too. My choice. I'm also doing lots of meditation at the mo which really helps. Also, I'm finding new positive/social activities that replace porn in my life.

Essentially it's all about rewiring our brains. Making new neural pathways that'll lead to richer, healthier, fuller lives. The first couple of weeks are the hardest but after that it gets a lot easier and you begin to see big changes in your mind/life fast.

Best of luck with it, man. Keep going. You can do this.

Force
 
Hey man,

Sorry to hear you're struggling. Just know this. We've all been there. We've all felt that low. And it's the lowest low in the world. But you can beat this awful addiction. And when you do, I guarantee your life will be so much better. Mainly because your brain heals/frees itself from porn.

But for the time being... don't trust your brain/mind. At the moment it is an addict's mind. It will use every trick in the book to get you back watching porn again. I've been off porn for over two weeks now. The trick to quitting porn is not depending on your willpower. Because porn has hijacked your willpower. If you depend on your willpower, at some stage it will weaken and you will relapse.

So do some initial groundwork. For example, I've made it virtually impossible to watch porn on my computers/phone. I've installed porn blockers and I don't have access to the passwords. Also, sites that I could use as porn substitutes - like instagram, tiktok, youtube etc - I've blocked these too. I love youtube, but fuck it. I know it would just become a crutch. So for these few months, while I'm quitting porn, I'm quitting that too. My choice. I'm also doing lots of meditation at the mo which really helps. Also, I'm finding new positive/social activities that replace porn in my life.

Essentially it's all about rewiring our brains. Making new neural pathways that'll lead to richer, healthier, fuller lives. The first couple of weeks are the hardest but after that it gets a lot easier and you begin to see big changes in your mind/life fast.

Best of luck with it, man. Keep going. You can do this.

Force
Thank you so much Force. It truly has been hard especially the last couple of days and weeks. Sleep hasn't seemed to come easy lately and as far as I know that's one of my many triggers. I have solely relied on will power and haven't found much success over the months and thanks again for pointing that out. Whenever I pass a week my will power seems to weaken and when the urges hit, im unable to cope with them.

I will work on fortifying my devices and make pointing unaccessible and was wondering if you could fill me in on some blockers that have really helped you as that would be of much help to me.
Thank you so much again and good luck to you too
 

forceisstrong2

Active Member
Hey,

Yeah, I know that. After a week your mind begins to justify itself. Says that you can limit your porn use. And before you know it, you're back watching porn again. We're addicts. Our willpower has been hijacked by porn. We need to do what we can to get through those early stages when the urges hit. Or when you are feeling depressed/low, etc.

Regarding porn blockers, I use Qustodio. What I do is I set it up not just to block porn, but also any porn substitute sites - instagram, twitter, tiktok, etc. In addition, I block sites that discuss how to get around Qustodio. In essence, I'm preventing my future self from accessing porn. There is a website called future me. The program allows you to email yourself in the future. I use that to email myself the password in the future. Alternatively, you can just ask a friend/family member to hold onto the password for you. Netnanny is another good porn blocking option. There is an option where you can also have them hold onto the password for you. I also use an app called Freedom. It basically limits my internet time on my computer and phone so I don't mindlessly browse and can get my work done.

Also, if sleep is a trigger, probably what's happening is that you're lying in bed and fantasizing about porn. You need to stop that too. Anytime you find yourself thinking/fantasying about porn, you need to take a breath and think about something else. Do a healthy activity that'll take your mind off it. I found meditation really works as it allows me to get into a healthy headspace. Also, do activities where you are around people - sports, hobbies, etc. All of this is good for your head.

I think the way to quit porn is by finding oneself and building for oneself a richer, fuller life.

That's it really. Best of luck, man. And don't be too hard on yourself if you do relapse. Before my relapse a couple of weeks back, I was porn free for a couple of months. The relapses are becoming fewer, more spaced out. And my mental health and life are becoming richer and better. If I can do it, you can do. It's about getting over the first few weeks.

All the best,

Force
 
Thanks again Force. You have been much help and I really appreciate that. Knowing that they're people out there who can help brings a sigh of relief in times like these especially when you feel as though you're the most unforgivable person on earth. I'll surely try the apps out and as you said find oneself in hopes to create a future I can be happy or proud of.

All the best to you too
 
DAY 3

it's been sometime since I last posted and will be posting every after three days now as I'm trying to limit the time I spent in my phone. I've brought in other methods towards keeping me away from PMO and hope with this I can find some success✌.

Thank you all for your encouragement and sorry for letting you down when I should have kept going.
All the best to you all.
 
keep going.. in my case, this accountability system by doing journalng in here and keep tell everyone in here that we keep going let me reduce my urges and if the urges come it doesnt mean anything to me, i can tackle it more easier, maybe thats my opinion
btw keep going you can do it.
 
keep going.. in my case, this accountability system by doing journalng in here and keep tell everyone in here that we keep going let me reduce my urges and if the urges come it doesnt mean anything to me, i can tackle it more easier, maybe thats my opinion
btw keep going you can do it.
Thank you so much @abangdedek. I'll definitely do so and keep trying to reach freedom. All the best to you and you can do it as well
 
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