I want to succeed at this as bad as I want to breathe


Day 83

True that @SimonM.

This is the period I'm really looking forward to, is reconnecting on a higher level with her, and maintaining that connection.

I do think I went right into a flatline of sort, and I'm totally drained yesterday and today. Just out of it, and feeling a bit disconnected, but it's manageable. I'll get through it, it just is what it is.

Still having some sleep issues. I've been better about getting to sleep at a reasonable time. I'm mostly being woken up by dreams. Last night I woke up laughing out loud about something in my dream. I was so amused by something that I was full on laughing as I woke up. It was the most bizarre thing ever. I've never done that before in my life.

I'm happy with the direction things are going, despite some minor inconveniences. Any negative is far outweighed by the positive experience of connecting with my woman, and my dick starting to work properly again.


Day 84

Went for a good hike yesterday, and got straight to sleep, which I needed because I had to be up abnormally early this morning. Though I got decent sleep, it was an exhausting day. I was busy from beginning of the early morning to the end of today, with meeting stacked back to back to back. Got home mentally drained, and felt some urges to watch porn. Not so much true urges, just my brain trying to revisit the muscle memory of my past, as a natural part of my (old) home alone process. I was able to easily brush it off, it's just an odd feeling is all. No biggie though. No plans to let porn ruin the good I have going on right now. I'm actually feeling really good and confident in my present and future. Life is good, and getting better.


Day 85

Thanks @Blondie. I'm along for the whole experience here. I think a large part of this process isn't learning to just live with or deal with the inner fire that comes with not releasing at will all the time, it's figuring out the right ways to embrace and utilize that fire properly, and that comes with life changes. I'm certainly working through that process now, and really starting to appreciate the experience.
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Day 86

Got my big hike in with my girl last night. My shins were already a little sore from the hike a few days prior, but I had a goal to hit for the week, and I had to make it happen. Plus, the weather was just excellent, so it was an opportunity to not be wasted. Of course, my legs felt super sore when done and today, but that's ok. No pain, no gain, I suppose. The great thing was that it was a night hike, so as soon as I got home and stretched out, I was off to bed. I got a full nights sleep, and was up bright and early today, and have already accomplished my necessary errands for the day.

The great thing here is that I'm feeling horny again. I felt like I hit a bit of a flatline earlier in the week, but that seemed to only last a couple days, and I'm back to feeling good again. Yesterday at work I actually got a random erection out of nowhere. I felt like I was 15 again! :LOL: I think that getting back into some exercise, plus working on rewiring with my lady, are starting to bring some more obvious progress. I'm liking where things are going.

The challenge here is that with increased horniness, comes greater urges, and greater responsibility as it relates to keeping my nose clean. It's also, honestly, a bit distracting. I think that's going to be my next big challenge, is not allowing heightened horniness distract me, particularly at work when I have a ton of things to stay on top of.

Anyway, today is a bit dull because my girl is out of town today with her sister, and I'm at home. I'm going to go get out of the house a bit and go browse at a couple shops to keep my mind occupied. Otherwise, it should be a good, porn free, weekend.


Day 88

Had a pretty awesome weekend, all things considered. Hit a nice hike yesterday, and hitting another today. I'm trying to keep at it, because it's definitely balancing me out lately. In the past week I've gotten better sleep, and just felt better in general, mentally and physically. I even went to the store over the weekend, and just felt a general level of confidence in myself that I haven't felt in a long time. I'm really looking forward to finding more ways to improve myself as I move onward in this new way of life. What started as a dreadful, grueling process, is slowly turning into an amazing experience that I'm happy to be a part of, and really hoping to maintain.


Respected Member
Glad to hear of your current successes @Warhawk88. Isn't great how our confidence soars after doing what we should be doing or not doing? I'm still getting use to this wonderful fact. :cool:
What started as a dreadful, grueling process, is slowly turning into an amazing experience that I'm happy to be a part of, and really hoping to maintain.
You're doing great, and you have everything you need within you to make this happen forever.

Almost to 90!