Still some issues after almost a year

Tryinghere

Active Member
First off - I’m a million times better than I was when I started my reboot last September. I’m also sure I will only continue to get better as time goes on. I’m just looking for some support, thoughts and maybe some encouragement here.

I have (and will most likely continue to MO occassionally. But have not, and will not PMO.

I DO use viagra more often than not when I know sex is coming. I know there are mixed opinions about ED drugs, but I’m married with children and older. I’d much rather be able to be with my wife than go to bed disappointed. Even if it means popping a viagra.

that said - viagra works pretty much all the time. But it’s real hit and miss when I don’t use it. Sometimes it’s ok. But I still fail to get an erection about half the time.

I’m all but certain it’s performance anxiety and NOT pied. Any advice on how to overcome this? I’d love to do away w the viagra all together and just stop worrying about whether or not I’ll be able to perform. Any thoughts on how I can get there more quickly would be appreciated.
 

Thisworld

Member
It's performance anxiety related to the reboot or what? When I had it, I was still attached to the idea I cuold have pied so I was used to get an erection by myself to touch only before sex, in order to show my brain everything was healthy down there and then go for sex. It worked and after a while I just convinced myself finally my reboot was over and haven't had anymore problems with gf.
I don't necessary raccomand this as it cuold become a bad habit. Are you maybe having too many orgasms?

Also are you having performance anxiety just with sex or sometimes even by yourself with MO?
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
It's performance anxiety related to the reboot or what? When I had it, I was still attached to the idea I cuold have pied so I was used to get an erection by myself to touch only before sex, in order to show my brain everything was healthy down there and then go for sex. It worked and after a while I just convinced myself finally my reboot was over and haven't had anymore problems with gf.
I don't necessary raccomand this as it cuold become a bad habit. Are you maybe having too many orgasms?

Also are you having performance anxiety just with sex or sometimes even by yourself with MO?
It’s just with sex. My wife and I used to have amazing sex. Then PIED. We went through a long series of sexual failure before even realizing what was happening. Now, when the moment comes, it’s terribly difficult to block those memories out and be in the moment. The viagra has become a security blanket for me.

let’s say she’s on her period, or the kids are around. There’s no chance of sex. I have no issues getting hard. She can flirt, or kiss, or touch me and I’m hard. When I’m by myself, no problem. It’s only when sex is a real possibility that things become sketchy.
 
D

Deleted member 28870

Guest
It’s just with sex. My wife and I used to have amazing sex. Then PIED. We went through a long series of sexual failure before even realizing what was happening. Now, when the moment comes, it’s terribly difficult to block those memories out and be in the moment. The viagra has become a security blanket for me.

let’s say she’s on her period, or the kids are around. There’s no chance of sex. I have no issues getting hard. She can flirt, or kiss, or touch me and I’m hard. When I’m by myself, no problem. It’s only when sex is a real possibility that things become sketchy.
How do we get past this? I'm 34 and single and i have performance anxiety. If I cant perform wtf am I going to do?
 

Dude09

Member
First off - I’m a million times better than I was when I started my reboot last September. I’m also sure I will only continue to get better as time goes on. I’m just looking for some support, thoughts and maybe some encouragement here.

I have (and will most likely continue to MO occassionally. But have not, and will not PMO.

I DO use viagra more often than not when I know sex is coming. I know there are mixed opinions about ED drugs, but I’m married with children and older. I’d much rather be able to be with my wife than go to bed disappointed. Even if it means popping a viagra.

that said - viagra works pretty much all the time. But it’s real hit and miss when I don’t use it. Sometimes it’s ok. But I still fail to get an erection about half the time.

I’m all but certain it’s performance anxiety and NOT pied. Any advice on how to overcome this? I’d love to do away w the viagra all together and just stop worrying about whether or not I’ll be able to perform. Any thoughts on how I can get there more quickly would be appreciated.
First off - I’m a million times better than I was when I started my reboot last September. I’m also sure I will only continue to get better as time goes on. I’m just looking for some support, thoughts and maybe some encouragement here.

I have (and will most likely continue to MO occassionally. But have not, and will not PMO.

I DO use viagra more often than not when I know sex is coming. I know there are mixed opinions about ED drugs, but I’m married with children and older. I’d much rather be able to be with my wife than go to bed disappointed. Even if it means popping a viagra.

that said - viagra works pretty much all the time. But it’s real hit and miss when I don’t use it. Sometimes it’s ok. But I still fail to get an erection about half the time.

I’m all but certain it’s performance anxiety and NOT pied. Any advice on how to overcome this? I’d love to do away w the viagra all together and just stop worrying about whether or not I’ll be able to perform. Any thoughts on how I can get there more quickly would be appreciated.
Hi mate, I’m 35 years old and I think I’m going through the same experience as you are. I started my reboot in Oct 2021 (9 months ago). Now I do feel more sexual in general, I get random erections and get hard when my gf is touching me or we’re flirting. If I just sit back to receive oral sex, it’s all good (although I imagine porn in my head to orgasm) but when it comes to actual sex (where I have to be active), I either don’t get erection in that moment or I lose it quickly. It’s very frustrating and embarrassing. I don’t know how long is this gonna take but I’m sticking to this process of reboot/rewire and being patient.

What I want to achieve is to stay in that moment and have that moment make me horny not the imagination I’m trying to grip on in my head. That seems the hardest part. Let me know what’s in your head when you’re in that moment?

If you start feeling any improvements or do something different, let me know. I will also share my experiences as we progress. Happy to chat in messages as well if you like.

Cheers
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Hi mate, I’m 35 years old and I think I’m going through the same experience as you are. I started my reboot in Oct 2021 (9 months ago). Now I do feel more sexual in general, I get random erections and get hard when my gf is touching me or we’re flirting. If I just sit back to receive oral sex, it’s all good (although I imagine porn in my head to orgasm) but when it comes to actual sex (where I have to be active), I either don’t get erection in that moment or I lose it quickly. It’s very frustrating and embarrassing. I don’t know how long is this gonna take but I’m sticking to this process of reboot/rewire and being patient.

What I want to achieve is to stay in that moment and have that moment make me horny not the imagination I’m trying to grip on in my head. That seems the hardest part. Let me know what’s in your head when you’re in that moment?

If you start feeling any improvements or do something different, let me know. I will also share my experiences as we progress. Happy to chat in messages as well if you like.

Cheers
Thanks for the response. Yeah it’s weird. For me. I know it’s all in my head. My dick works like an 18 year olds literally at every other time.
This might sound stupid, but I think I’ve been traumatized by failing so many times before and during my reboot. I’m the back of my mind im paying attention to whether or not I feel my dick getting hard and not on the beautiful woman in front of me. I think about how she’ll eventually say “never mind” and roll over for sleep. While I lay there….alone….staring into the darkness.
Once I realize that that isn’t who I am anymore, we’ll shit….this thing’ll be over lol.
Good luck sir. I’ll let you know if I figure anything out. You do the same!

9 months is a great job. Aside from the above mentioned issue, I feel fantastic in every way. How has your experience been?
 

Dude09

Member
Well I do feel good in a way that I feel more sexual. Before I started my reboot, I was sexually numb with no sexual thoughts for weeks and weeks. Now it’s different. I never lost my morning wood which have always been rock solid but I stopped getting random erections and thoughts which I get now.

One thing that I discovered is that when I’m by myself and imagining stuff, my erection is stronger and comparatively long lived when my thought is of ‘love making’ instead of porn wrapped. I should try building on that.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Well I do feel good in a way that I feel more sexual. Before I started my reboot, I was sexually numb with no sexual thoughts for weeks and weeks. Now it’s different. I never lost my morning wood which have always been rock solid but I stopped getting random erections and thoughts which I get now.

One thing that I discovered is that when I’m by myself and imagining stuff, my erection is stronger and comparatively long lived when my thought is of ‘love making’ instead of porn wrapped. I should try building on that.
Agreed. My erections are stronger when I’m alone. All signs point to lingering performance anxiety. My wife and I typically have pretty “porny” sex. I try to keep any and all thoughts strictly to past experiences with her.
 

Dude09

Member
Agreed. My erections are stronger when I’m alone. All signs point to lingering performance anxiety. My wife and I typically have pretty “porny” sex. I try to keep any and all thoughts strictly to past experiences with her.
Hey mate, a question. Do you get wet dreams? I haven’t got a wet dream in last many many years. I think wet dream could be an indication that brain is healing. What do you think?
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Hey mate, a question. Do you get wet dreams? I haven’t got a wet dream in last many many years. I think wet dream could be an indication that brain is healing. What do you think?
Can’t really say. I’ve never had a wet dream in my life. I’ve had plenty of sex dreams, but I always wake up right before I cum.

that said, I think a wet dream is an indicator that you’re body/brain may be ready for the next step. You’re evacuating subconsciously so you’re……filled up……for lack of a better term. But I wouldn’t say it’s necessary or anything.
 
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