Just an ordinary addict.
- Thread starter Ren
- Start date
GBS
Respected Member
Hi @Ren - just been reading your thread. I am particularly impressed with your constant return to this site, and your excellent string title. We have to quit porn to become whole again. Train your brain out of this horrific habit. It like no other addiction and giving up is hard. I have asked myself many times: why give it up? After all it is, by and large, free. No one else gets hurt if they don’t know about it. All men do it so it’s not like drugs, alcohol, gambling, overeating……so why stop?
And then the penny drop. We/you/me have massively injured ourselves. We may have injured others too (certainly partners). But the key thing is, we are doing this to mend ourselves. When we become real men again, we gain so much and can have real relationships with others. Partners can see us for what we become. Let’s not be who we were. Let’s be real men.
Good luck, mate. GBS
And then the penny drop. We/you/me have massively injured ourselves. We may have injured others too (certainly partners). But the key thing is, we are doing this to mend ourselves. When we become real men again, we gain so much and can have real relationships with others. Partners can see us for what we become. Let’s not be who we were. Let’s be real men.
Good luck, mate. GBS
Ren
Active Member
So, I appreciate the comment, I have many things to comment but I prefer to be somewhat brief this time, just because I don't feel like writing too much yet.
I like this place. It's not overactive but you have some serious people that take quitting seriously. I have been into this for more than 10 years. This has been my life for quite a long time, and quitting it has always been a challenge, but now that I've become fully engaged in purging this, it got worse. It's exactly like destroying a whole city I've built around this addiction for years so I could rebuild decent things now.
You never know how much an addiction is destructive until you start losing things because of it. For many years, porn was the solution. The safe place. The good world. The relief. I am not used to living without it, and now I can see clearly how much my potential was been reduced to around 60% because of this. Losing 40% of your potential because of a bad habit is quite of a loss to me.
We live in a world that the tendency is having grown-up 20+ years old kids that can't stop looking to unlimited women at the screen and are throwing away their valuable time because of instant gratification. We only got so much development and technology in the past because things were difficult and they were many problems and inconveniences to solve. We want comfort, and now that we've got it, we don't know how to handle it. At first we had too few, and now we have too much.
It's not a matter of masculinity per se. You can think about it like that, too. But I don't think a guy that cannot restrain himself, go through suffering without recurring to illusions and pursue what he wants without losing his focus is something you can call a "good man". Seems more like a kid that can't stop eating chocolates because his parents aren't coming back home and now he has infinite supply of junk food until he gets diarrhea. I know it seems inappropiate but I have no better allegory to such a behavior.
And here I am, trying to eat my vegetables because I can't stop shitting myself. But this just doesn't taste good.
So I call it quit, man.
Whatever how many times I keep returning to that bathroom, I'll learn how to eat properly, because my life depends on it now.
People would think I am being a little bit extreme, I am just noticing how much I've lost because I made this bed for me.
And I never thought it would be so difficult to actually get up.
But you only lose when you give up.
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Ren
Active Member
Let's do this.