My journey to be better

Thank you [B]WinkTinkTillium[/B]

I have not come here for a while.

On Day 30, I think the urge comes from my routine PMO for many years. It is my habit. There was no negative emotion. I think the cues(time, place, and many things) triggered me.

Day 32-36

On days 33–35, I had three separate sex sessions with O.

My ED was also on third sex. My ED improves and I can O more quickly when I visualize pornographic scenes in my thoughts. I should not be doing that, but it won't help.

My ED is getting better all the time, but sometimes I still need the pornographic scenario to get me going.

Do you have any advice?
 

WinkTinkTillium

Active Member
Glad to hear you are still pushing forward! I wish i had more to say than you have to give it time for the neurological pathways that relay on the pornographic hyper stimulus to maintain, achieve, or complete a sex act.

Your ED may have surfaced on the 3rd sex act due to the pathway numbness after use. Its like recovering from an injury, lets say you broke your leg. 30 days after you may be able to walk and skip a little, but after 10 minutes you may need to rest again for a few days. you may have pushed yourself in the sex department too quickly for it to keep at the level you wanted. i have heard many speak to this.

after enough time away from the hyper stimulus of Porn your normal sexual response pathways will heal and allow you to have sex without relying on fantasy of porn etc. how long that is is the worst part for us all. Hang in there and keep fighting!
 

Journey_mir

New Member
My English isn’t good

Day 4


I want to start this because all my past 15 years were an addiction and i feel bad about myself, low self-esteem and also got rejected.
I already started for 2 week but got relapsed 1 time.
After all the readings, now im full of hopes. I want to feel confidence and be better.
Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.
You will again get feeling of relapse, just say to ur self and say it loud in ur brain "Just for this time I will not do it, just for this time !"
Say this everytime u feel
Hope it will help
 

SalientY

Member
I am on the path to quitting myself. I haven't watched or peeked much at all, but I am jerking to thoughts about porn.

I don't know if this helps but there has been a way I have been framing it: it isn't natural. It is your brain addicted to dopamine. Most men who ever lived only ever saw a few if only one naked women their whole life. They built the world we live in.

Think of the Second World War. May of those men were fucking heroes, risked their lives and went into peril bravely and saved millions of lives. And then what did they do?

Came home and most married an average looking woman who they exclusively had sex with the rest of their lives. Were they not men? They were some of the most masculine men this world has ever seen. Sure they had pinups and such, but they had more to do with their lives than drool over countless images of women habitually.

Porn is materialism, that's exactly what it is. It is not how men have ever functioned nor can function healthily. Men don't have to be perpetually horny Cassanovas in order to be valid males. The culture is far more materialistic now, and manhood has been tied to sexual relations with as many beautiful women as possible. World was never like that.

I don't know if that made any sense but hope it helps.
 
You will again get feeling of relapse, just say to ur self and say it loud in ur brain "Just for this time I will not do it, just for this time !"
Say this everytime u feel
Hope it will help
Thank you.

Journey_mir

I'm doing it to keep myself away from PMO. However, I believe it's preferable to develop the practice of not relying on our willpower. as a result of the long-term benefits. I continue to try.
 
I am on the path to quitting myself. I haven't watched or peeked much at all, but I am jerking to thoughts about porn.

I don't know if this helps but there has been a way I have been framing it: it isn't natural. It is your brain addicted to dopamine. Most men who ever lived only ever saw a few if only one naked women their whole life. They built the world we live in.

Think of the Second World War. May of those men were fucking heroes, risked their lives and went into peril bravely and saved millions of lives. And then what did they do?

Came home and most married an average looking woman who they exclusively had sex with the rest of their lives. Were they not men? They were some of the most masculine men this world has ever seen. Sure they had pinups and such, but they had more to do with their lives than drool over countless images of women habitually.

Porn is materialism, that's exactly what it is. It is not how men have ever functioned nor can function healthily. Men don't have to be perpetually horny Cassanovas in order to be valid males. The culture is far more materialistic now, and manhood has been tied to sexual relations with as many beautiful women as possible. World was never like that.

I don't know if that made any sense but hope it helps.
Thank you for your advice.

SalientY

It is real. Dopamine-related activities are the norm in today's culture.
Dopamine is an addiction in my brain. It lessens the joy of daily existence.
I also try to stop doing anything that would cause me to release dopamine, such scrolling through my phone or browsing the internet.
 
I had a relapse on Day 47. Beginning with peeping, things quickly spiraled out of control.

I chose to erase all of my P collections older than ten years as punishment. Wish I could have done this sooner.

Thus, my 47-day run comes to an end. Let's begin again on Day 1.
 

SalientY

Member
I had a relapse on Day 47. Beginning with peeping, things quickly spiraled out of control.

I chose to erase all of my P collections older than ten years as punishment. Wish I could have done this sooner.

Thus, my 47-day run comes to an end. Let's begin again on Day 1.
Things happen, man. Relapses can happen, but get back on that horse and keep going. And don't think 47 days was a complete waste; it shows discipline and that you have the strength to resist for long periods. Also, has helped work toward rewriting bad behaviors.

Fight on and kick this things ass! I myself, in addition to quitting porn, am trying to entirely quit smoking cigarettes. I have massively weaned myself off of them, smoking atleast 40% less a day. I'm planning to be 100% smoke free by end of October.

Keep fighting man. You owe it to yourself as I owe it to myself.
 

downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
You had a good streak! No worries though, what’s more important is what you learn from it. How quickly you get back up and continue.

I have to say though, that if you really want to quit it’s important that you delete everything you might have on a hard drive or anywhere else. It should be the first step in recovery. I can’t tell you that you have to it, but I believe that bridge should be burned to the ground. Whatever you can do to make it harder to go back.
 
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