Is a social media presence helpful in dating and worth the distraction that comes with it?

[ADFECTATIO]

Hei guys,

so basically I am a digital minimalist - I don't have any social media except Whatsapp. Up until two years ago I had an old Nokia phone and you had to call me, if you wanted sth.

I got a smartphone because of my job back then - and there are some really practical sites about it. Also back in the Nokia-days once a girl said to me - she really liked my but its impossible for her to date me if I am so hard to reach with my old phone.

After I got the smartphone I texted a lot with a another girl I knew - and we got together, had a year long great relationship. I moved away to another country, she couldn't deal with the long distance, so she broke up. Reflecting on it, this was the best thing to happen. The relationship was so great and could have been something, if it weren't for the distance. This for sure would have never happend if I had still the old phone without whatsapp.

I can manage my smartphone control - but the more you use it, the higher the chance of spending too much time on these things.

Now to my question: I life in a new city, and yes - I go out, I talk to girls - great - I exchange numbers, but I was wondering: Maybe it would help to have a lowkey social media presence. For example some events are promoted via facebook and instagram. Until now I only went to these events because some of my friends told me about them - but I also want to have a lookout and see the events, I want to got to.
In his book "Digital Minimalism" Cal Newport describes that sometimes for students it might be useful to have a facebook account.

What are your thoughts on having an IG profile? I would only use it on my laptop and have strict usage rules around it.
Do you know any filters that are useful? For example for FB I remeber a filter to blend out the feed.
I would not interact that much - occasionally load up a foto of the hiking trips I attend or a selfie - just to show that I am here, that I have an awesome life and really enjoy myself. I don't want to follow too many and I really don't want to chat that much....

Looking forward to hearing your opinion!

 

[SmokenMirrors]

I would only use it on my laptop and have strict usage rules around it.

That's all you need to do! Only follow the people that you want to follow and don't follow any soft porn girls!

 

[Gardenzio]

I also have the same doubts as yours, and I am not sure if I'd able to contribute with the discussion, as I have the same doubt...

What I know is IG and Faceboo (would say more IG) is a important social media in terms of advertasing events or special courses, as well as in interacting with people (girls or distant friends).

I liked the terms I listenned in a video: if currently Linkedin is our professional business card, IG is our personnal life business card. To say, both are relevant.

A but: IG is very very addictive. But anyway I also feel it helps getting in touch with some potential partners and in chatting with girls... In the same way, we need to be careful, 'cause we know there are lot of triggers on Instagram. Seek to use it always around other people, and avoid using it in your closed bedroom, I would suggest...

In my IG, I setted up to hide a lot of stories from irrelevant friends or irrelevant contents; currently it's activated to show me only few stories from people probably would help me anyway with their content, or friends I like to follow their lifes. I unfollowed a lot of irrelevant profiles, and mainly from bikini girls... Lately my IG's algorithm is setted to show me inspiring contents, and even so we do better limiting the time spent on it...

The point is we, rebooters, need to manage the time spent in those social media apps, as you said. The way I found was using IG on my cellphone, where I can block it according the time passed, once I can't do the same in my laptop. You find yours, which is great...

And by the way, I would also like to know any filter for IG on PC...

Currently I'm using IG, and I'm considering getting way from it for at least 7 days, 'cause I'm feeling I'm spending too much time on it and wasting time...

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Thank you for your replies!

The point about IG as a pesonal life business card is exactly the thing I was thinking about.
And you are right - we have to figure out a way to use it carfully.
On PC there is a Chrome addon called "Antigram" - here you can block several aspects of IG.

I hade some issues with IG working on my PC, so I installed it on my phone and will try to figure out a healthy way to use it.
What I have found so far is IG is really a great tool to connect.

I will see how it goes and keep you updated.

 

[Gardenzio]

Thank you for your replies!

The point about IG as a pesonal life business card is exactly the thing I was thinking about.
And you are right - we have to figure out a way to use it carfully.
On PC there is a Chrome addon called "Antigram" - here you can block several aspects of IG.

I hade some issues with IG working on my PC, so I installed it on my phone and will try to figure out a healthy way to use it.
What I have found so far is IG is really a great tool to connect.

I will see how it goes and keep you updated.

Nice. I'll look for this one on PC. On cellphone I use a app called AppBlock (from MobileSoft), which is a good one to track and limit the access through time passed, and I can block a lot of other app on my cellphone. I can also block instagram completely or for 5, 7, 10, 15 and so on minutes, but I cannot block specific contents there with it.

 

[ADFECTATIO]

So I have been using IG for a few days now. In the beginning the novelty really pulled me in.
But, with a bit of effort and self control, I managed to spent just around 20 mins per day on IG and try to have those in the evening after my workday is finished.
Therefore IG usage is not an escape for me and I can enjoy it.

Positive aspects:
- Could connect to a lot of people I knew from older jobs or studies and really liked to see what they are doing nowadays. They are not friends, just light contacts.
- I also enjoy "presenting" myself: I have the feeling, that I am now "on the market" - people see, what I do, that I have a full life. Thats actually the main reason behind my IG account. I think IG is like the private "business card" as @Gardenzio mentioned above.

If I find out more, I will post here.