What Drags Me Down

selfimprov

New Member
Hello! I'm just an average teenage boy, I'm 14 and I'm your typical nerd. I'm pretty smart and my self-image has been improving ever since i got my first girlfriend (albeit long distance) 3 months ago.

For context, I grew up in a very religious household/country. As in, i've never hugged or kissed a girl, it isn't permitted. Now I had access to Youtube at the age of 10. If you don't remember, a couple years back, there weren't as many restrictions as now, so finding sexualized content was too easy, therefore my obsession with the female body began. It continued until my parents found out, and then it all stopped.


Two years later, I decided to re-explore that type of content, and one of the videos led to a video on, you guessed it, PornHub. 12 year old me came across a video, and it was the first time i accidentally orgasmed, i was freaked out, but ever since then, I was watching porn from time to time, without actually masturbating.

Now, earlier this year, I was casually on discord, and something happened that changed my life for the worst. I'd been manipulated into sending my first nude, and after that, everything changed, it was like i didn't care what pictures of myself went where, and eventually i was also manipulated into jerking off for the first time, and since then ive also been doing it from time to time, not to porn, not to any type of media, and not excessively.

Two months ago, I started masturbating excessively, going as far as 3, to even 5 times a day. And since then I've been trying to slow down, now It's been 2 weeks, my maximum per day throughout these 2 weeks is usually once per day, rarely twice, and sometimes never. Which I feel is a decent improvement. I've also deleted reddit a while ago, since that was my main source.

I'd appreciate an accountability partner:)

DAY 0-

I used porn twice, today, once at 9 am and once at 3 pm, once while my family was asleep and once when nobody was at home.
 

TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
Hi Selfimprov, and welcome. This forum is a great resource, since it's full of people who are all dealing with the same problems.

Read a bunch of the threads, and you'll quickly get a sense of how serious a porn addiction can get. It's VERY important that you educate yourself now while you're still young, or the addiction will only get worse. Believe me, you don't want a porn addiction to still be in your life in your 30s or 40s, and that's the truth of many people here.

Probably the first thing to do is stop posting those nudes or jerking off in front of the camera. If people can see your face in either of those, it's only a matter of time before someone recognizes you. 😟

Good luck, buddy!
 
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