For my unborn

G.123

Member
Day 7. Toughest day yet, been thinking about porn roughly every 5 seconds all day it seems! A hangover and having a boring Sunday with nothing to do didn't help. I've completed the day though and have a busy week at work coming up so I know it will get easier this next week.
 
Day 8. Gone monk mode this time so 8 days of no O, could be the longest I have ever gone! Feeling good though. Been reading up about the benefits of quiting porn and I am so ready for my life to turn that corner
You got this mate. Seems like we're at pretty similar day counts (I've just hit day 7).

Here's to us both sticking at it. Thanks for helping to keep me accountable, hopefully I can help to do the same for you.
 

G.123

Member
You got this mate. Seems like we're at pretty similar day counts (I've just hit day 7).

Here's to us both sticking at it. Thanks for helping to keep me accountable, hopefully I can help to do the same for you.
Hi mate, I would massivly appreciate that. I'm finding this forum so helpful for keeping myself accountable. So let's not let each other down! We can do this!
 

G.123

Member
Day 9. It is my wifes birthday today but she has chosen to spend the day with her friends rather than see me. We haven't not spent her birthday together for 7 years so feels very strange. I am trying not to read too much into it and just focusing on the things within my control, being the best version of me. I've felt pretty down all day and had total brain fog at work. Can't work out if it is just the wife birthday situation or porn withdrawl symtoms or likley both. I am proud that I haven't used this as an excuse to go to porn for a pick up. The more I am feeling down the more determined I am to see this through and get out the other side a rejuvinated man. I still hope so much that things work out with my wife but I know that either way I have got to get off porn and be a functioning man with a normal sex life! Let's keep moving forward 💪
 
Hey matey - just to say you've done so well to not lapse with everything else going on. Try to hold onto the thought of how much worse you would have felt had you gone to that familiar old comfort blanket. It's never, ever worth it. Regardless of how down you are, the brain fog ... You can still have the knowledge that you've had a good day and you're still growing, still moving forwards when you're able to chalk another mark on that day tracker.
 

G.123

Member
Hey matey - just to say you've done so well to not lapse with everything else going on. Try to hold onto the thought of how much worse you would have felt had you gone to that familiar old comfort blanket. It's never, ever worth it. Regardless of how down you are, the brain fog ... You can still have the knowledge that you've had a good day and you're still growing, still moving forwards when you're able to chalk another mark on that day tracker.
Thanks man, appreciate the message. You're right that it feels great to move forward and not just sink into a downwards spiral. Another day stronger!
 

G.123

Member
Day 10 done. Nearly had my first wet dream of this reboot last night, woke up right before I O'd. Sad thing is I was dreaming about watching sex, not actually having sex myself, I guess that is how badly I have wired my brain to see porn or watching sex as the stimulus rather than actually being a participant!

Have been wondering about whether I can O to not watching porn or whether that would hinder the reboot? Was even thinking of booking in for a massage and a happy ending so I technically wouldn't be MO!! Not sure I would do this but I think my brain is just desperatly thinking of any excuse! Any advice on if a none PMO would be ok would be greatly recieved though. Thank you.
 
I can fully relate to the dreams about P... It's crazy isn't it when you think about it. Definitely a sign we need to rewire those neural networks!!

So I don't have the experience myself to comment on the O during a reboot, but my instinct is that contemplating the massage/anything that doesn't involve genuine human connection is the thin end of the wedge, and would likely lead to places you wouldn't want it to. At least that's how I'm pretty sure it would end up with me.. ('researching' where to get a massage and then before you know it, peeking at other stuff and then full blown P)... I also don't imagine you would feel great afterwards even if you didn't involve P in it...

Anyway, no idea if that's at all helpful but always happy to offer my perspective. Just as I really appreciate yours on my own journey.

We've got this... Ps I may have missed this detail, but are you Uk-based? (I am, which is why I ask out of curiosity!)
 

G.123

Member
I can fully relate to the dreams about P... It's crazy isn't it when you think about it. Definitely a sign we need to rewire those neural networks!!

So I don't have the experience myself to comment on the O during a reboot, but my instinct is that contemplating the massage/anything that doesn't involve genuine human connection is the thin end of the wedge, and would likely lead to places you wouldn't want it to. At least that's how I'm pretty sure it would end up with me.. ('researching' where to get a massage and then before you know it, peeking at other stuff and then full blown P)... I also don't imagine you would feel great afterwards even if you didn't involve P in it...

Anyway, no idea if that's at all helpful but always happy to offer my perspective. Just as I really appreciate yours on my own journey.

We've got this... Ps I may have missed this detail, but are you Uk-based? (I am, which is why I ask out of curiosity!)
Yeah I am UK based. Manchester normally but I am in the Midlands at the moment as living at my parents house since the wife asked for some space. Has been good for me to have a different environment and the commute to work is only just over an hour so its doable!
 

G.123

Member
Day 12. Still feeling determined but this isn't getting any easier. Found myself looking at pictures on Facebook which I know is not good so I've app blocked Facebook and Instagram again. Miss my wife like crazy and just wish I could fast forward to the bit where I am normal and we are making love!! But I know that nothing in life worth having comes easy. I still havn't O in 12 days, not even sure if that is healthy! But I feel like I will feel guilty if I do now. I have read that the reboot is faster if you go monk mode so I'm going to stick too it!
 
Nearly at the 2 week mark now, that's pretty amazing G. Half a month!!! You're doing all the right things - keep focusing on the factors in your life you can control and better things will start to happen for you, whatever they may be and whether they're in the form we originally wished for. I'm proud of you mate!
 

G.123

Member
Day 14. Thanks @searching4good 2 weeks does feel like an achievement. I think I've reached the flatline as much less urging for MO or PMO. Just feel numb really!

Probably doesn't help that I met my wife today for a further talk about our relationship. I moved out about a month ago but we have talked every day since and met a couple of times so I have been holding out hope that we would pull through. But today she has said that whilst she will always love me and thinks the world of me, the spark in the relationship has gone for her and so from today onwards we won't contact each other and she is going to make arrangements for divorce. Man it hurts so much. You guys on here are the first people I've told this too so thanks for not only the support quiting porn but writing this thread is a form of councilling for me!

The crazy thing is that normally any kind of trauma and I would seek solice in porn. But right now I have zero desire to ever turn to that. I am not saying that watching porn was what ended my marriage but these last two weeks I am starting to feel like my senses are more alive and I am more confident and outgoing. Maybe if I had of been like that these last two years I wouldn't find myself where I am now.

All I can say as advice guys is that life moves real fast, up and down. 3 or 4 months ago I was checking fertility apps with my wife to time our sex to conceive and searching for houses to buy. Now I'm 35, living at my parents house and about to be divorced. Truth is though, I was using viagra to have sex and it was me searching for houses, with my wife not showing much interest. So maybe it was all fake and not meant to be. I love my wife so much and I have always wanted a family so this hurts like hell to find myself here.

Anyway, sorry, probably getting a bit too deep here. I know I have to keep strong. I'm going to get to 100 days. Take some time to reflect and in 2023 I have to bounce back from all of this.
 

PrometheusUnbound

Active Member
Maybe if I had of been like that these last two years I wouldn't find myself where I am now.
All the best to you. I have been through a divorce before and it does hurt, but my life got better in the end. I thought what you said here was interesting. In another way, maybe if you didn't have the last two years, you wouldn't have be at day 14 now with a new way to process your trauma. Just a thought.

Anyways, keep up the good work!
 

G.123

Member
All the best to you. I have been through a divorce before and it does hurt, but my life got better in the end. I thought what you said here was interesting. In another way, maybe if you didn't have the last two years, you wouldn't have be at day 14 now with a new way to process your trauma. Just a thought.

Anyways, keep up the good work!
Thanks man. Appreciate the support from someone that has been through divorce. I appreciate your perspective on things too, like it is these hard challenges that make us all stronger.
 

G.123

Member
Day 17. Seem to be more in control of urges now but I have two days working from home and then going for drinks at the weekend which can weaken my resolve so I recognise I need to remain viglilant. I have worked out that my 100 day count would be 6th December. I have saved my annual leave and plan to take most of December off and go away so I would love to see this through to then.
 
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