Fighting for my freedom💪

Finally i am starting my reboot journey.I have been trying to quit porn and masturbation for many years. I don't know if someone is reading this or not but i hope that i will find my accountability partner soon. I don't have anyone to talk to. So i will make sure to post my daily journal on this forum
 
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FiveFortyFour

Active Member
Good job on making it to day 3, man! That's a fine milestone to start on! Still, sorry to hear that it's been rough going. It can be pretty rough when your brain has started associating your time to sleep with its time to indulge in PMO. If possible, I've seen some people here recommend moving your bed to another portion of the room. Otherwise, trying some new pre-bedtime habits like reading, meditation, prayer and the like could also be of assistance.

Don't lose hope, friend! I believe in you!
 
Day 4 : I try to keep myself busy so that I stay away from porn. Since my exams are also approaching, I have to study all day. A few weeks ago I joined computer classes so that I could learn something new. I felt like watching porn while using the phone a couple of times but I stopped myself
 
Good job on making it to day 3, man! That's a fine milestone to start on! Still, sorry to hear that it's been rough going. It can be pretty rough when your brain has started associating your time to sleep with its time to indulge in PMO. If possible, I've seen some people here recommend moving your bed to another portion of the room. Otherwise, trying some new pre-bedtime habits like reading, meditation, prayer and the like could also be of assistance.

Don't lose hope, friend! I believe in you!
Thank you brother. It means a lot.It feels good when someone understand your pain
 
Day 6: 😞😞 Relapse. Totally depressed.I don't know if there is anything i can do.I do want to be a normal guy with a normal life. But i don't know.😭 I really need an accountability partner.
"YOU CAN'T BE A NORMAL GUY", "YOU WILL RELAPSE", "YOU ARE A LOSER" YOU ARE NOT A GOOD PERSON", "EVERYONE WILL HATE YOU", "YOU'LL BE ALONE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE" these are the thoughts i face daily whenever i try to quit porn. My best noM score was 45 days and noP score was 70 days, but now i can't even cross 6 days.
Is there any hope? I don't know.
I don't to live like this. I don't want be like this.
 

FiveFortyFour

Active Member
"YOU CAN'T BE A NORMAL GUY", "YOU WILL RELAPSE", "YOU ARE A LOSER" YOU ARE NOT A GOOD PERSON", "EVERYONE WILL HATE YOU", "YOU'LL BE ALONE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE" these are the thoughts i face daily whenever i try to quit porn. My best noM score was 45 days and noP score was 70 days, but now i can't even cross 6 days.
Is there any hope? I don't know.
I don't to live like this. I don't want be like this.
I'm so, so sorry man. The pain that you're feeling is an awful burden to bear, but you have to remember, you are never alone. Those thoughts that haunt you, I have the same ones. That feeling of shame because you once had a really long streak that you haven't yet repeated? I know that exact feeling. I'm sure plenty of people who don't post but check these forums also know it. The pain you're in now is indeed burdensome, but it will pass, and you will learn from the experience. Your old self desperately wants to keep you from changing; it wants comforts in its old habits. But fear will yield nothing; you have to keep hoping. I believe in you!
 
Day 1:
Starting it again. I know I can win if I don't lose faith. I used to think that porn is not an addiction and i could easily quit it.But it took me 2 years to realize that this is going to be a long fight. It is a process and its gonna be tough.So I'm ready.
There is a verse in Srimad Bhagavad Gita that there's is no hell or heaven, there is just you and your karma.Your karma makes your life heaven or hell. This body is not me and I'm pretty damn sure that this is not for my enjoyment. We're born as humans not to waste this precious life but to reach ISHWAR🕉️ through devotion and selfless service. So i will do whatever i can do to be a Normal Guy .
I am not going to stop even i fail thousand times.I AM NOT GOING TO LET THIS ADDICTION WIN.

परमात्मा सब कुछ तेरा है।मैं,मेरे कर्म और मेरा जीवन तुझे समर्पित।सबका भला कर भगवन और मेरी सहायता कर।
 

sho0fl

Active Member
There's also a good example that I can think of in a book - that you should focus on the good instead of the bad and negative. There was an American send to Africa in the '90s and he was tasked with reducing the death rate of children, which was pretty high. There was a lot of misery going on at the time and he faced multiple issues, from not having clean water to children straight dying from hunger, and on top of that he had 29 days to do it, in addition to not having support from the local government that wished he failed.

What the person did was to focus on the positive - he found tribes in which the children's death rate was the lowest (still pretty high though) and observed what was happening. Then he just spread the practice to other tribes and thus reduced the death toll within 3 months, after that he got funding and expanded on this even further.

So focus on the positive in your case, I would not think that it's day 1, day 2, day X. Instead it's day N of your life. You have the power yourself to change this, not anyone else, you can't buy this, you can't cheat yourself out of it. You can just do it, and you will.

As of this writing I'm also on day 2
 
Thank You👍
There's also a good example that I can think of in a book - that you should focus on the good instead of the bad and negative. There was an American send to Africa in the '90s and he was tasked with reducing the death rate of children, which was pretty high. There was a lot of misery going on at the time and he faced multiple issues, from not having clean water to children straight dying from hunger, and on top of that he had 29 days to do it, in addition to not having support from the local government that wished he failed.

What the person did was to focus on the positive - he found tribes in which the children's death rate was the lowest (still pretty high though) and observed what was happening. Then he just spread the practice to other tribes and thus reduced the death toll within 3 months, after that he got funding and expanded on this even further.

So focus on the positive in your case, I would not think that it's day 1, day 2, day X. Instead it's day N of your life. You have the power yourself to change this, not anyone else, you can't buy this, you can't cheat yourself out of it. You can just do it, and you will.

As of this writing I'm also on day 2
 
Day 2:All clear. Sorry did not post it earlier.
I've realized that what we need to succeed is willpower. I've tried so many things to quit porn but nothing worked. Because in my mind there was a deep-rooted belief that 'I can't win'.
I still remember the day when i actually crossed a month without pmo. I was able to do it because for the first time i trusted myself. But, sadly, things changed after that. I lost all my hopes and confidence, became depressed. The only thought that was in my mind was to kill myself.
I still get these suicidal thoughts because porn has make me so emotionally and mentally weak that i can't face any difficulty.
But this time:
I have full trust on myself.
I have someone to show me the right path.
I know that quitting porn is a process not an event and it will take time.

ॐ नमः शिवाय
 
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