Hello friends. Let's take care of each other. We are worth it.
- Thread starter SalientY
- Start date
SalientY
Member
Update: My date went great!
She's a very cool girl to be around. She's had bfs in the past but is still a bit timid. She also told me she hasn't dated anyone before Covid started so it has been several years for her.
We had a good meal together. I paid the check and she got our waitress' tip. Afterward we went over to her apartment and I met her roommates, a married couple and their child. They were cool people and I actually graduated high school with the wife. We streamed some shows, me showing her a show I like and she doing the same for me.
We held hands and cuddled on their couch, and it was nice to feel close to her. It is different feeling some level of physical intimacy with a woman again after so many years. Comforting but not quite what it used to be. I know that will come in time.
And we kissed several times! Nice to finally kiss a girl after 8 years of being single. I really like this girl and want to treat her right while also taking care of myself. She works a lot so doesn't always have a ton of availability, but she loves to text and will see many any time she is able.
The important thing is to remember everything I've achieved, maintain my standards for myself instead of resigning myself to certain things just because u am dating a girl now. I know I can do this, I am going to prove to her and primarily to myself that I am a man who can master himself and do great things.
Keep you gentlemen updated!
She's a very cool girl to be around. She's had bfs in the past but is still a bit timid. She also told me she hasn't dated anyone before Covid started so it has been several years for her.
We had a good meal together. I paid the check and she got our waitress' tip. Afterward we went over to her apartment and I met her roommates, a married couple and their child. They were cool people and I actually graduated high school with the wife. We streamed some shows, me showing her a show I like and she doing the same for me.
We held hands and cuddled on their couch, and it was nice to feel close to her. It is different feeling some level of physical intimacy with a woman again after so many years. Comforting but not quite what it used to be. I know that will come in time.
And we kissed several times! Nice to finally kiss a girl after 8 years of being single. I really like this girl and want to treat her right while also taking care of myself. She works a lot so doesn't always have a ton of availability, but she loves to text and will see many any time she is able.
The important thing is to remember everything I've achieved, maintain my standards for myself instead of resigning myself to certain things just because u am dating a girl now. I know I can do this, I am going to prove to her and primarily to myself that I am a man who can master himself and do great things.
Keep you gentlemen updated!
SalientY
Member
Hello Gentlemen.
I just want to start off by apologizing for my absence. I have neglected this community badly. I am making a concerted effort to return.
So good and bad news.
Bad news: I started relapsing a few weeks ago.
At first it was just peeking, the edging to it, then finally I would finish to it. I kept justifying it to myself in my head: "oh I can't see my girlfriend for a few days, I deserve some pleasure. It won't hurt." And then I just got sucked back in.
Last night was the most recent time. I always watch it on my tablet, so as an extreme measure, system wiped it to factory, didn't set it back up and let the battery die on it. So if I want to really enjoy porn again it won't be easy.
Yes, I could look on my phone but the screen is so small it's not very rewarding. But I know that ultimately is not enough to change. I've gotta put myself in the mindframe permanently.
How do you guys recommend over coming temptation where u justify it to yourself?
Some good news: I sorta had sex for the first time in 8 years. My girlfriend and I hooked up and have a couple times. I'm not able to have an erection yet...I told her it's a prostate issue I'm being treated for (which is true, I have an antibiotic for some urinary problems) but ultimately I think the porn use and even just masturbating greatly contributed.
We are still together, we haven't done it in a week or two due to an itchiness she got from sex (I'm STD free and know I have been for years, I guess it was some kinda temporary thing idk) but she is over it and we are hanging out Sunday. I of course am not masutrbaring at all until then.
This will be first year of No Fap November for me lmao.
When we are together? I pleasure her with my hands and mouth and then use my own hand to finish myself. I bought lubricant and condoms for her place, and while we use the lube for our fun I can't ever get hard for long. I get hard but don't stay hard.
I ordered some chewable viagra from the internet and only got to use it once. I'm wondering if it had worn off by the time we went to do it or it was both that and the daily jerking (and then porn use). I can't jerk anymore.
Something that concerns me guys is I feel like I would act weird, even creepy with no sexual stimulus for so long. I remember when I first was completely not jerking, a girl's bare leg in a YouTube video made me excited (I know that's weird, but blame so much long term porn use).
I want zero sex drive except when I'm with my girl until I can get several months into being porn free. I feel lost.
I am starting meditating again. I am far too anxious to not try and calm my mind at least once a day. I noticed when I'm less anxious my voice gets deeper, more masculine.
Fighting for that glow up. Staying strong boys.
I just want to start off by apologizing for my absence. I have neglected this community badly. I am making a concerted effort to return.
So good and bad news.
Bad news: I started relapsing a few weeks ago.
At first it was just peeking, the edging to it, then finally I would finish to it. I kept justifying it to myself in my head: "oh I can't see my girlfriend for a few days, I deserve some pleasure. It won't hurt." And then I just got sucked back in.
Last night was the most recent time. I always watch it on my tablet, so as an extreme measure, system wiped it to factory, didn't set it back up and let the battery die on it. So if I want to really enjoy porn again it won't be easy.
Yes, I could look on my phone but the screen is so small it's not very rewarding. But I know that ultimately is not enough to change. I've gotta put myself in the mindframe permanently.
How do you guys recommend over coming temptation where u justify it to yourself?
Some good news: I sorta had sex for the first time in 8 years. My girlfriend and I hooked up and have a couple times. I'm not able to have an erection yet...I told her it's a prostate issue I'm being treated for (which is true, I have an antibiotic for some urinary problems) but ultimately I think the porn use and even just masturbating greatly contributed.
We are still together, we haven't done it in a week or two due to an itchiness she got from sex (I'm STD free and know I have been for years, I guess it was some kinda temporary thing idk) but she is over it and we are hanging out Sunday. I of course am not masutrbaring at all until then.
This will be first year of No Fap November for me lmao.
When we are together? I pleasure her with my hands and mouth and then use my own hand to finish myself. I bought lubricant and condoms for her place, and while we use the lube for our fun I can't ever get hard for long. I get hard but don't stay hard.
I ordered some chewable viagra from the internet and only got to use it once. I'm wondering if it had worn off by the time we went to do it or it was both that and the daily jerking (and then porn use). I can't jerk anymore.
Something that concerns me guys is I feel like I would act weird, even creepy with no sexual stimulus for so long. I remember when I first was completely not jerking, a girl's bare leg in a YouTube video made me excited (I know that's weird, but blame so much long term porn use).
I want zero sex drive except when I'm with my girl until I can get several months into being porn free. I feel lost.
I am starting meditating again. I am far too anxious to not try and calm my mind at least once a day. I noticed when I'm less anxious my voice gets deeper, more masculine.
Fighting for that glow up. Staying strong boys.
strongfuture89
Active Member
Never forget that your discipline of not using porn has given you the strength to start a beautiful relationship. I´ve been down the exact roads, man, it is difficult. Whenever you are not around her and feel an urge, try techniques like cold shower or exercises, reading a book or if really necessary some gaming (it´s what I did to keep my mind busy the first times I was without my partner). If those things are not enough, log in to rebootnation and start a journal entry. Tell us you´re having a difficult moment, that´s okay.
I´m now in my longest relationship, also started with PIED at the beginning. The fact you are in a new relationship is actually a golden opportunity. I would advise to try the method that I used, which did wonders for me. I know everyone is different though...
Do exactly what you are doing now, using your hands, your mouth,... and whenever you are getting an erection, the goal is to not do a complete piv. Yes, try to do the opposite. That mean you can tease her, ´experiment´ with almost-piv. Make it fun and exciting for her. Do only what you want to do and not a step more. Deep down a voice might say ´but you have to do a piv because...´ and you tell it to shut up because you decide what is going to happen and what is not going to happen. You decide! And if she begs for piv, you tell her she doesn´t get it yet. Keep it fun and teasing.
I did that on two occasions for like 15 minutes or so, and it started building confidence stronger and stronger. So much that you feel a natural need to do piv. And then again: you decide!
I´m now in my longest relationship, also started with PIED at the beginning. The fact you are in a new relationship is actually a golden opportunity. I would advise to try the method that I used, which did wonders for me. I know everyone is different though...
Do exactly what you are doing now, using your hands, your mouth,... and whenever you are getting an erection, the goal is to not do a complete piv. Yes, try to do the opposite. That mean you can tease her, ´experiment´ with almost-piv. Make it fun and exciting for her. Do only what you want to do and not a step more. Deep down a voice might say ´but you have to do a piv because...´ and you tell it to shut up because you decide what is going to happen and what is not going to happen. You decide! And if she begs for piv, you tell her she doesn´t get it yet. Keep it fun and teasing.
I did that on two occasions for like 15 minutes or so, and it started building confidence stronger and stronger. So much that you feel a natural need to do piv. And then again: you decide!
SalientY
Member
Well today has been decent. I had decent morning wood (though I have since I quit porn 6 months ago). Really concerned about the withdrawal. I don't wanna come off as weird or creepy and I REALLY am not looking forward to the zoning out/brain fog.
I am going to try an meditate every single day and start running again. Losing some weight will be a second benefit, I just need to burn off energy from this withdrawal.
Staying strong, boys.
I am going to try an meditate every single day and start running again. Losing some weight will be a second benefit, I just need to burn off energy from this withdrawal.
Staying strong, boys.