Life_is_beautiful
New Member
Heyyyy there.. Hii to all fellow friends.. All here to be a better version of oneself by freeing from the porn and its fantasy world.. So am I here, after a long relationship with PMO and its fantasies..
It all started for me when I came to know that there exists a whole online porn platform and I started visiting it on a regular basis.. It was the best fun activity for me in my school days.. Years passed and now I'm in medical school doing my internship(last year)..
Since 18 months I have tried quiting pmo but in the entire journey I've made it in a forbidden fruit and centre of my life.. I've never faced such inner turmoil until I tried quitting which scares me and so everytime I end up giving up to it..
Also I have a loving and beautiful girlfriend in a so called long distance..
So when ever I feel sexual I've had the habit of addressing it by pmo but after I've had a girlfriend it has started making me feel guilty of having pmoed to any lady in porn so I decided to quit doing it for good and to be a better man for my girl.. But the compulsive thoughts are so powerful that if I'm not releasing to porn then my mind has made me think about any other girl around at my work place, gym or anywhere to be attractive physically and mo, which again sets me in the fear of cheating on my girlfriend..
So not wanting to cheat, my mind makes me believe that you better jerk off to the virtual ladies, else you'll end up with another lady than your girl and I agree to it by giving in.. Also I have developed the attitude of wanting to explore more than 1 physical relationship lately after I thought of quitting porn(I know it must be the porn fantasies making me believe that it would be fun to have it explored)..
And because of all this, porn gets the credit for saving my relationship and it has started making me believe that atleast now I need it.. My thought process has changed on every day basis, a resolution to quit it, a reasoning to avoid quitting, making yourselves believe that it's a pleasurable thing that many people enjoy without hurting anyone, relapsing, guilt of having done it.. All this is imprisoning.. And I seem to be liking to be a prisoner(when the voice in my head says let's do pmo) to it which is what I hate myselves for.. I want to set myselves free from these compulsions and have a good career ahead as a doctor who can help others..
Lately this suffering has become such a huge problem for me that I don't even see myselves as a good future doctor even though I'll be one within a year.. My career has become less important to me lately and all I want now is to be someone who does not want porn and is happily monogamous..
Also people here motivate me to believe that quitting is worth it than believing that it is mere mental torture and sexual tension build up..
Hope you all achieve all your goals.
Please show some support for my first ever thread cause that will motivate me to post my journey ahead here.
I have a 30 day no pmo goal for now..
It all started for me when I came to know that there exists a whole online porn platform and I started visiting it on a regular basis.. It was the best fun activity for me in my school days.. Years passed and now I'm in medical school doing my internship(last year)..
Since 18 months I have tried quiting pmo but in the entire journey I've made it in a forbidden fruit and centre of my life.. I've never faced such inner turmoil until I tried quitting which scares me and so everytime I end up giving up to it..
Also I have a loving and beautiful girlfriend in a so called long distance..
So when ever I feel sexual I've had the habit of addressing it by pmo but after I've had a girlfriend it has started making me feel guilty of having pmoed to any lady in porn so I decided to quit doing it for good and to be a better man for my girl.. But the compulsive thoughts are so powerful that if I'm not releasing to porn then my mind has made me think about any other girl around at my work place, gym or anywhere to be attractive physically and mo, which again sets me in the fear of cheating on my girlfriend..
So not wanting to cheat, my mind makes me believe that you better jerk off to the virtual ladies, else you'll end up with another lady than your girl and I agree to it by giving in.. Also I have developed the attitude of wanting to explore more than 1 physical relationship lately after I thought of quitting porn(I know it must be the porn fantasies making me believe that it would be fun to have it explored)..
And because of all this, porn gets the credit for saving my relationship and it has started making me believe that atleast now I need it.. My thought process has changed on every day basis, a resolution to quit it, a reasoning to avoid quitting, making yourselves believe that it's a pleasurable thing that many people enjoy without hurting anyone, relapsing, guilt of having done it.. All this is imprisoning.. And I seem to be liking to be a prisoner(when the voice in my head says let's do pmo) to it which is what I hate myselves for.. I want to set myselves free from these compulsions and have a good career ahead as a doctor who can help others..
Lately this suffering has become such a huge problem for me that I don't even see myselves as a good future doctor even though I'll be one within a year.. My career has become less important to me lately and all I want now is to be someone who does not want porn and is happily monogamous..
Also people here motivate me to believe that quitting is worth it than believing that it is mere mental torture and sexual tension build up..
Hope you all achieve all your goals.
Please show some support for my first ever thread cause that will motivate me to post my journey ahead here.
I have a 30 day no pmo goal for now..
