I wanna talk about my problem

Hey Everyone, I think I got a serious addiction to this stuff. I've been watching porn for about 13 years and I'm at a point where I have days where I watch like 4 hours of porn. I still watching vanilla stuff, its not like I need something more. I got over 1Tb of porn on my external drive that I can't part from, I've deleted and redownloaded all my porn over and over. I decide I'm done, then delete it, then I relapse after the longest streak which was 22 days, I decided to redownload it. Porn never affected any relationships I've had over the years, I know it causes alot of harm to those who watch it but my brain says I love it. I want to quit, its just really difficult. I've tried alot of methods which help, like changing my location, avoiding states of boredom, keeping myself occupied, spending time with others. These work well, its just I have days in which urges overwhelm me.
Hi. Once a week I send out about 10 private messages to newbies. Though not especially religious, I call it "sending out prayers." The purpose of this message is to give you a bit of help starting. I wish someone had sent me this message when I was first starting; it would have made things easier. Most of us have had an experience similar to yours. You are not alone. Porn addiction is a silent epidemic, but we are learning how to fight it. I am going to tell you now the most important thing no one ever said to me when I first started quitting: You can do it, it can be done, many have quit it, it will be hard, difficult, require dedication and a willingness to suffer, but you can live a porn free life, you can take off those chains. Know it, don't hope it, know it. By the way, yes, this is a standard message. The people who receive it receive the same message. However, if you have questions or want information, call me back on my thread below, and I will respond. Everyone, including me, can benefit by public discussion.

I spent one year getting clean. After one year, porn free, PMO free, and MO free, I moved on with my life. I still post here occasionally, but not nearly as much as before. It won't take you a year, but I do recommend the "hard 90" or 90 days no porn, no PMO, no MO, no O. Your education should start by learning the lingo. Start here:


Let's start with a few basics. Are you addicted? Well, this is a porn addiction forum, but only you can say. Being porn addicted is horrible, yes, but for me, acknowledging the addiction was the first step to finding a solution and getting clean. You know the saying, you can't fix it if it is not broken? Well, you won't fix it if you don't think it is broken. For me, I had to acknowledge I was "broken" before I could set out to fix it.

Porn addiction is widely misunderstood, even in this forum. Understanding what porn addiction is essential to fixing the problem.

So, what is porn addiction? Porn addiction looks like porn addiction, but actually it is dopamine addiction. Porn is just a button we push to get a dopamine high. Have you ever asked yourself why porn and sexual thoughts are so fascinating? The reason is that hypersexual thoughts lead to a dopamine release in our brain's primitive reward center. The most important vid to watch is right here, and it explains everything. Copy and paste.

Gary's TEDx talk - "The Great Porn Experiment" (2012)

The Great Porn Experiment is one of the most popular and influential TEDx talks ever given. Gary Wilson expertly unpacks the influence of porn

www.yourbrainonporn.comThe vid is by Gary Wilson who runs yourbrainonporn.com

You need to watch the vid, then start studying the problem at the above website.

Next, you need to put obstacles between yourself and porn, as in porn blockers.

Last, understand that after years of abusing your brain's reward center you have come to love the feeling of a dopamine high, we all do. Quitting porn will not make you hate dopamine, but if successful you can return to normal levels, meaning you will get your dopamine the old fashioned way, though actual sex. But, between there and now are withdrawals. That is your brain fighting you rewiring it. They hurt. Did I mention they hurt? You have not abused porn for years without paying the price to be free. Expect it. Plan on it. It will happen.

Study the problem and study the solution. Most of us, who are successful, have utilized the "hard 90", 90 day of abstaining from porn, from PMO, from MO, and from O (unless it through actual sex, and sex while NOT thinking of porn). If you look throughout this forum you will reference to hard mode, and the hard 90; in my opinion it is the only way to get clean. Do not believe you can get clean "gradually". When you are ready to get clean you will have to go cold, that is hard mode. It will feel hellish during that 90 days as you withdrawal. Withdrawals are your dopamine soaked brain begging you, threatening you, pleading with you, extorting you, reasoning with you why you need to relapse. You will have to go at least 90 days before that voice becomes silent.

I cannot over emphasize the importance and necessity of the "hard 90". That is a 90 day reboot during which you are porn free, masturbation free, and orgasm free. It is a limited, painful, time in your life to put this problem behind you. Don't just "do it"; plan on doing it, take steps in advance to make it more likely to be successful, plan on blockers, plan on, expect, withdrawals, so that when they come, you know what they are. It will not kill you, it will only feel like it is. But...It won't.

If you have questions, or get anything positive from this message, PM me, and I will respond. A couple helpful links:



Will I AM.