This from 2014. But worth a read.
Could the basking in the attention of the ladies be a contributing factor to your wife's mood swings? Menopause is a pretty tough thing to go through. It means to a lot of us that we are indeed getting old. Getting the scan turned off after stopping porn was tough for my husband. This article helped a lot.
Dear Porn Doc:
One of my biggest problems isnât necessarily looking at pornâŠbut rather looking at womenâa lot. In fact, I am often not even aware that I am doing it and have really gotten into trouble with both my current girlfriend as well as in past relationships. What are some tips in stopping this?
Porn Doc:
You have a âlooker.â In fact, most men are visual creatures anyway, but when you also struggle with compulsive sexual behavior, the looking takes on more of an obsessive quality. âI canât stop looking.â âIf I donât look, Iâll miss out on something.â To bring a deeper awareness to your looking, I recommend the following interventions as some short-term solutions:
1. The Two-Second RuleâA simple intervention is to use a two-second rule. This is essentially a self-monitoring tool to establish some control and boundaries around the looking. When a person notices that he is indeed looking too much, he then gives himself âpermissionâ to look one time and one time only, up to two seconds. The idea is if you are aware enough to slap a limit on the looking, then they are aware that they are crossing the line.
2. Other Womenâs Body Parts Arenât My BusinessâMen reveal that they often feel obligated to look, as if itâs their job. Or they might worry that they will miss out on something. A simple reminderâor mantraâis to remind yourself that the woman who has caught your attention is none of your business; she does not know you; she did not wear those clothes for you; she does not welcome you. You need not look.
3. She Is A PersonâObsessive looking usually involves objectifying. Notice your language when youâre looking and what you are saying (internally or out loud). You may be saying to yourself something like: âLook at those breasts!â âLook at that butt, those legs.â The list goes on. Remind yourself that she is a person by lending her some humanity. She is somebodyâs daughter. She is somebodyâs sister. She is somebodyâs mother. She is somebody. Not an object.
This helped my husband and I work through the "looking thing"
Give it a try it could help both you and your wife.
Could the basking in the attention of the ladies be a contributing factor to your wife's mood swings? Menopause is a pretty tough thing to go through. It means to a lot of us that we are indeed getting old. Getting the scan turned off after stopping porn was tough for my husband. This article helped a lot.
Dear Porn Doc:
One of my biggest problems isnât necessarily looking at pornâŠbut rather looking at womenâa lot. In fact, I am often not even aware that I am doing it and have really gotten into trouble with both my current girlfriend as well as in past relationships. What are some tips in stopping this?
Porn Doc:
You have a âlooker.â In fact, most men are visual creatures anyway, but when you also struggle with compulsive sexual behavior, the looking takes on more of an obsessive quality. âI canât stop looking.â âIf I donât look, Iâll miss out on something.â To bring a deeper awareness to your looking, I recommend the following interventions as some short-term solutions:
1. The Two-Second RuleâA simple intervention is to use a two-second rule. This is essentially a self-monitoring tool to establish some control and boundaries around the looking. When a person notices that he is indeed looking too much, he then gives himself âpermissionâ to look one time and one time only, up to two seconds. The idea is if you are aware enough to slap a limit on the looking, then they are aware that they are crossing the line.
2. Other Womenâs Body Parts Arenât My BusinessâMen reveal that they often feel obligated to look, as if itâs their job. Or they might worry that they will miss out on something. A simple reminderâor mantraâis to remind yourself that the woman who has caught your attention is none of your business; she does not know you; she did not wear those clothes for you; she does not welcome you. You need not look.
3. She Is A PersonâObsessive looking usually involves objectifying. Notice your language when youâre looking and what you are saying (internally or out loud). You may be saying to yourself something like: âLook at those breasts!â âLook at that butt, those legs.â The list goes on. Remind yourself that she is a person by lending her some humanity. She is somebodyâs daughter. She is somebodyâs sister. She is somebodyâs mother. She is somebody. Not an object.
This helped my husband and I work through the "looking thing"
Give it a try it could help both you and your wife.
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. Obviously this is a over generalization, but in general, I find generalizations to have much truth in them, even if modern society doesn't want to admit it for political or social reasons.
