Relapsed today but I'm a step closer!

GenericJC

Member
Day 0

Damn it, I got overconfident.

I gave into that urge and went looking and of course, I found. I haven't O'd but I M'd and that's just as bad.

God damn is it frustrating, I've got someone in my life now who I care about and it's the sole thing holding me back from continuing but I shouldn't have let it get this far in the first place 41 days is a hell of an effort, but it's not enough. It's time to reset and figure out why I fell down.

I'm going to shower and sleep and then write up tomorrow and see what went wrong this time.

I hope you are all doing better than I
 

GenericJC

Member
Day 2

It always surprises me how fuzzy you feel the day after. The impact is insane, it's harder to feel energised and to think straight.

Fascinating experience was that despite it having been 40 days, it was actually a struggle to keep excited watching anything versus last night when I was intimate where it was much easier. It is reassuring to know that I haven't undone everything I've worked for, but still not good enough that I dropped my guard.

Whats interesting is that while it felt familiar, it also felt foreign. 42 days is not a long stretch of time by any means, but it was enough time that the whole experience was weird. I even managed to pull myself away twice but unfortunately still went back. Still feeling fuzzy right now and probably will for the rest of the week but having actually seen some of the benefits of this means I'm motivated for this next attempt.
 
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