My Journal

FiveFortyFour

Active Member
Day 11 - rushed here because it's quite hard today. Mainly because I have a trigger I can't escape as it's part of something I need to study. Taking breaks in between and hoping this won't have to go on for long.
I think plenty of us here know what that's like. Stay strong, man. You've come farther than you may feel like you have. If urges start welling up, talk to someone. Start a conversation, go for a walk, do everything you can not to backslide. And don't second guess the pull to bring it to God. He is faithful; in every temptation He will provide the means of escape that you might be able to endure.
 

arandomguy

Member
I think plenty of us here know what that's like. Stay strong, man. You've come farther than you may feel like you have. If urges start welling up, talk to someone. Start a conversation, go for a walk, do everything you can not to backslide. And don't second guess the pull to bring it to God. He is faithful; in every temptation He will provide the means of escape that you might be able to endure.
Thanks man. He is faithful.
 

arandomguy

Member
Day 12 - posting this a bit late. It's been busy lately and I'm grateful for that. I def know how much harder idleness makes this journey. Moving on well and grateful for that.
 

arandomguy

Member
Day 13 - almost two weeks! Don't know how I went through today; was really holding on by a thread at times, but grateful I've pulled through. Plus football is back, so it's a good day.
 

FiveFortyFour

Active Member
Keep clinging tightly! If the urges start coming on again, please find someone to talk to, even for a little bit! Most addictive urges have a tendency to survive for about an hour, so anything you can find to busy your hands and brains should do you well. I believe in you! Press on, Frodo!
 

arandomguy

Member
Keep clinging tightly! If the urges start coming on again, please find someone to talk to, even for a little bit! Most addictive urges have a tendency to survive for about an hour, so anything you can find to busy your hands and brains should do you well. I believe in you! Press on, Frodo!
Oh I will Sam..thanks!
The ring urges me to wear it... but I must resist. The dark lord finds me easy when I do, and that's much incentive not to!
 

arandomguy

Member
Day 14 - two weeks down!
Haven't been able to set a target for myself any time I think about it..so I'm not forcing it.. just going on a step at a time knowing watching isn't an option.
The journey continues..down south to Mordor we keep going. The quest must prevail.
 

arandomguy

Member
Day 18 - going strong. Not as strong as I'd like though. Lewd thoughts increasingly straying in. These pathways in my brain seem intent on getting what they want - even taking over when I'm asleep 😅. I had this dream last night where I felt like watching porn and was struggling not to...I was watching something sensual which made it really hard, but as soon as I started getting sure I'm going to fall, I got a sudden jolt of strength and moved away. I woke up soon after, shocked that it was a dream. It felt very very real; so I'm pretty sure there's some tough war going on up there.
Still very hopeful that I've already watched the last porn clip I'll ever watch- and grateful for the grace I've had so far.
Also, I've become less consistent at journalling - missing a few days. I'm hoping to do better at this too.
 

sho0fl

Active Member
Lewd thoughts increasingly straying in
For me fantasies are the worst enemy, but I've thought about them and I do the following:

I ask myself what they are, and try to explain why I'm doing this. It usually revolves around facts I've read on YBOP and EasyPeasyMethod. After knowing your enemy, it's much easier to defeat them.

I also try to turn my fantasies into advantages by saying this to myself:
"You know what, fine. This doesn't seem like a bad idea, right? You wanna do.... In order for me to do that though, we need to reboot and then work on making it a reality. So, for now focus on the task at hand, work on yourself, improve. After that, if those fantasies still linger, hey, might as well try them out in reality. Got me? Great, now focus at the first things first."
 
Day 20 - past 2 days haven't had the urge to watch P which is great. Moving...
Twenty days is not too shabby. Way to kill it.

I'm with you with struggling to keep the consistent journaling. As others have noted, though, I think it's really helpful in keeping your commitment by staying faithful to your journal.

This is coming from the guy who missed Day 1 and had to journal for two days today. We can work on it together.
 

arandomguy

Member
For me fantasies are the worst enemy, but I've thought about them and I do the following:

I ask myself what they are, and try to explain why I'm doing this. It usually revolves around facts I've read on YBOP and EasyPeasyMethod. After knowing your enemy, it's much easier to defeat them.

I also try to turn my fantasies into advantages by saying this to myself:
Thanks man..will read more into these!
 

arandomguy

Member
Twenty days is not too shabby. Way to kill it.

I'm with you with struggling to keep the consistent journaling. As others have noted, though, I think it's really helpful in keeping your commitment by staying faithful to your journal.

This is coming from the guy who missed Day 1 and had to journal for two days today. We can work on it together.
Thanks chief.. will keep striving for it and hope you do too 👊🏾
 

arandomguy

Member
Day 22 - doing well but mind's def craving an outlet. Had a wet dream for the first time (or 2nd, I'm not too sure) since I stopped watching P and woke up just as I O'd. Held back a bit since I didn't want it but it was a little late by then so some of the damage was done.
Anyway, I'm increasingly looking forward to day 30. I've found talking about how this journey's going with my girl has really helped them out; and I'm super glad she's been so supportive and wants to know how I'm doing with this often. Trying to be honest as I can with her, though it's not as easy as I'm not super comfortable with that.
We were discussing with her on whether being sexually active helps with P since you have a different outlet (context: we're not sexually active yet). Anyone with any answers? I'd really appreciate the insight, whether experiential or from scientific studies..

All in all, it's been tough but pretty good so far considering no P or M.
 

arandomguy

Member
Day 24 - had a few moments of weakness today but didn't allow any thoughts to linger. I've realized that I actually haven't had P much on my mind since I stopped; most of the sexual thoughts have just been fantasies of me doing it. That seems like a really good thing to me. Not something I want but much much better than the alternative.
 
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