A bomb went off in our home 6 weeks ago yesterday. Hoping this group can help me to understand more about my feelings and understand what my husband has done and his recovery. About 6 years ago my husband told me to quit pressuring him about sex. Our intimacy had slowed down and then basically stopped to the point of maybe 3x/year. He said it was due to his age(early 50’s), energy level and schedule. Not wanting to upset him, I didn’t bug him about it as I didn’t want his ego/masculinity to be hurt. Six weeks ago I got a message to please call a stranger as he had info regarding my husband cheating on me with a man. This stranger them gave me enough info and very graphic pics that my husband had sent to his fiancé. Shock! Not only was my husband cheating, but he had been with another man. After confronting him and being lied to for several days, my husband came clean about what he had been doing for the past 13 years. He spends 1/2 of every month away from home so had the time and privacy to get addicted to porn. It started as simply watching and then grew to PMO and chat rooms and the past two years even meeting up with actual men. He said he had PMO with a few women in chat rooms early on, but had felt so guilty and felt he was cheating. By this time he had PIED with me and he now needed to have others watch him to feel manly. Men were easy to find and the guilt/shame wasn’t as bad. He admits he has never been with another person physically which definitely helps. He was an exhibitionist/martymachlio. It has been six weeks and my initial hurt isn’t as devastating. He has completely taken control of his recovery and for that I am ecstatic and so proud! I am struggling with betrayal and grief. We were the couple everyone else strives to be like. Our boys are struggling with their dads actions. I have my first therapy appointment tomorrow and have read/researched everything I can find. I want my marriage to survive, but need support on down days. I had no idea and often feel like a fool for not pressing the issue of our sex life more. I wish I could have helped sooner for all of our sakes.