The dark places will always be present, but don’t let that keep you from looking for the light

CloseToToast

CloseToToast

Active Member
Day 16 no P/M :)
Weight - 293.2
Body Fat - 39.5%

Readings are still normalizing after the weekend spike. Goal is to eat within plan for 2 weeks and check the data trend for downward progress
 
CloseToToast

CloseToToast

Active Member
Day 17 no P/M
Weight - 293.0
Body Fat - 39.4%
2 days complete eating within goals

I will say i could feel the old urges trying to push through last night to combat the work/life stress i am feeling this week. On top of the busy review season as i get older and my family grows and responsibilities grow i am also on the self discovery path of what is the right time balance as a 38yr old dad of 4. Can I or do i have time for myself? How do i prioritize the kids, my wife, my work, house projects, normal day to day or weekly responsibilities etc without losing myself.
I am slowly realizing that the time for myself is my 5am to 630am in the gym and since i am seeing muscle growth and results numerically with progressive overload i am becoming more OK with that being the me time i am choosing. The me before these last few months was or kept hanging on to the idea that i needed or deserved time (lets say 3 to 4 hours a week) for video games or "me time" for whatever that would be. But I would always feel guilty about thinking i could have spent more time with the kids or my wife. Or i wish i had more of the renovations done etc. This week i have made changes with the days i food prep on and consolidated already busy nights with other required tasks or chores which opened up more time to spend that i didnt have before on different nights. That paired with the mindset of the Gym time is the me time i am choosing has really felt like a weight off my mind.

17 days in and a lot more to go but this time it really feels different in a good way. My attempts before weren't wasted time. It was growth and learning I needed to experience to get where I am now.
 
I

iampf

Member
Nice Toast! Good way of looking at things:
CloseToToast said:
My attempts before weren't wasted time. It was growth and learning I needed to experience to get where I am now.
Click to expand...
I sometimes look back on my slip ups with frustration and sadness, of wasted attempts. Yours is a much better way of looking at things: as growth and learning, and experience.

I am also a big supporter of early morning workouts - 5-630am is the perfect time to go to the gym/run/swim or whatever it is. I can drag myself out of bed and be half comatose but still get the legs or arms or whatever turning over until I totally wake up. And it means that my workout is done for the day, and I'm tired by the time it gets to the evening - so an earlier night than not. Leave you feeling far more healthy and happy with yourself!

17 days, awesome effort. Keep at it man. :)
 
CloseToToast

CloseToToast

Active Member
Day 19! Full fun weekend with the Fam and even went out to dinner but chose right! Even had calories for a few hot wings! Will weigh in Monday. Tomorrow will be renovations and the pool
 
CloseToToast

CloseToToast

Active Member
Day 20 no P/M
Weight - 290.0
Body Fat - 38.9%

Was worried about the scale but said F it and just owned it when I woke up. Glad I did because making the right dinner choices paid off. Still trending down. Quite rapidly too not sure if its still system shock or what. I don't think I'm under eating. MBR is 2100. Put myself in the light exercise. Category but I don't hit zone 2 heart rate more than 3 times a week but I do walk 30min and weightlift 5x a week. But I don't get winded or sweat a lot from it. But am gaining muscle so I know uts working. That being said my MBR with fitness level I'm guessing is 2,800. I eat around 2,400 a day. But damn it's really shooting down fast Weight and body fat wise. Focusing on Macros too
 
CloseToToast

CloseToToast

Active Member
Day 21 no P/M
Weight - 289.6
Body Fat - 38.8%

Awesome start to my new weightlifting routine this morning. Excited to look back in a year and see both the transformative change i know this new journey (reboot) will cause both Physically (the gym/eating) and even more importantly Mentally/Spiritually (no porn).

This Jordan Peterson video was in my up next on YouTube recommended videos on how to quit porn over the weekend while driving. Listened to it and I really agree that you dont Quit something, you Replace it with something better. It is legit what i am doing with the goal of getting fit and healthy

I havent quit eating a lot, but i have replaced it with balanced nutrition and effort & discipline in the gym
I havent quit life, i picked up the pieces of what was broken before and replacing it with renewed effort to do better and to try different things

I havent quit Porn, i respect that it is and will be a present thing and too easily accessible every where i could look. I refuse to to look at it because of how much time and myself i have wasted on it and how much potential i lost. I have replaced it with focusing on Health and the Gym, Leader/Growth mindset for parenting my children, really listening and digging in to problems to connect with my wife, renovating the house, and progressing in my career. Yes i have replaced it with a lot and there is probably more but I like not having the time for Porn's nonsense. its not 100% easy but replacing it is the only way i have made the progress that i have over the last few years.

Porn has stolen my honor and its debts must be paid
 
CloseToToast

CloseToToast

Active Member
Day 24 no P/M
Weight - 288.2
Body Fat - 38.5%

Mid Day snack attack yesterday but still on the downward physical trend (in this case its a good thing). Learning about carb requirements for not dropping glycogen stores during heavy lifting routines as well as preparing for future routines and if i only need to focus on progressive overload or do i always need different exercises every 6 to 8 weeks due to body adaptation
 
CloseToToast

CloseToToast

Active Member
Day 25 no P/M
Weight - 288.8
Body Fat - 38.7%

Happy Porn Free Friday Everyone! I hope each of you are able to say the same in your journey!

Up weight and body fat % today which is ok as long as it isn't a constant over the next few days but i know tonight and tomorrow AM will be a challenge. Tonight going to a local Minor League Baseball game tonight, we are eating dinner before hand but if i cant bring in either a protein shake or a couple protein bars as back up in case i get hungry i really don't want to spend the money on in park food which will not be healthy or controlled Fat Carbs Calories lol. Tomorrow AM is a Men's Breakfast i go to with my father in law every second Saturday of the month. It is Christian based and its a challenge to me because a few of the founders make the breakfast. I am beyond thankful for there time and efforts but my eating regimen is specific so i can eat volume to not be starving while losing weight but keeping high protein for muscle gain. I also don't like to not eat what they spent time on (for example French toast w/syrup and pork sausage) delicious but hard to balance out the day and i also have a lack of control with delicious dopamine spiking foods which is part of the battle haha.

Other progression even though it isn't my focus. Morning Woods came back around day 21 and were occurring each day until today. Not going to overreact at there disappearance. A handful of trigger style material popped up yesterday that i moved away from quickly on You tube & TikTok but may have affected. Will continue to take data and notes. I did though spend a lot of time bored/disengaged yesterday listening to different video etc. try to keep them constructive either about weight lifting, motivation, discipline, music etc But i know it still affects the dopamine so I may dial this back as well
 
CloseToToast

CloseToToast

Active Member
Day 28 no P/M
Weight - 288.0
Body Fat - 38.5%

I am thankful that this go around its easier to close out or turn away from Trigger Material, its so rampant its insane... Almost 30 days excited to surpass checkpoint 1 again on the no Porn front! Staying vigilant & disciplined. Been really trying to work with the wife on our intimacy/sex drive imbalances because that is the number one reason i used to rely on P. We have only connected once in these 28 days but i am also keeping it reduced but not non existent. Continuing to focus on Physical Health Improvements and wanting to include further financial growth. Not sure what to take on, on the side of my standard career.

Health Progress:
16.2 lbs total lost since my heaviest (304.2lbs)
4.8lbs lost since i started daily tracking

3.1% Body Fat lost since my heaviest (41.6%)
0.9% lost since i started daily tracking
 
CloseToToast

CloseToToast

Active Member
Day 33, 34 & 35 no P/M
Weight - 288.6
Body Fat - 38.6%

I am not going to continue the daily weigh ins because the numbers are acting very strange day to day versus what I am eating over the last 6 days so its hard to determine effectiveness of my plan vs random biological happenings.

Examples:
6/12 - lost 1.4 lbs overnight
6/13 - stayed same
6/14 - stayed same
6/15 - stayed same
6/16 - gained 0.3lbs
6/17 - gained 2.7 lbs

I used to do weekly Weight In's on Wednesdays which helps better establish a consistent baseline week over week and better handles water retention spikes or other type of instances. So I will moving back to that.

Sorry if any of you dont enjoy reading about this kind of progress but it is a huge part of my strategy. Its a positive distraction all the while progressing in the fight against the old me and Porn.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top