internal fight within to break my orgasm streak. As I’ve said in a past thread sexual pleasure is definitely my escape from the stresses of life or the lack of fulfillment and or boredom of life. I’m still trucking forward though…
Officially hit a month. Very proud of this even though I have a long way to go. I have found during past reboot attempts after a month of abstaining from artificial sexual stimulation my addicted brain starts working overtime to get me to peak or look. Most remain on guard.
I believe I’m really settling into a life without porn/artificial sexual stimulation. Don’t really feel a desire to seek it out. Sexual thoughts(based on past experiences and the desire for new ones) come and go, but for the most part I’m kinda costing through the days. Maybe that’s part of the “flatline”, a feeling of indifference…..
Not much to report. Just moving along. Contemplating if I wanna pursue this person at my job or not, or just chill till to the first of the year. Been also taking a testosterone supplement for the last few days as well.
Still moving along, no real issues right now. Even though this time I haven’t had any real issues with Instagram, I’ll be deactivating it today. So that should definitely aid in healing my brain even more. Also based on some unexpected events any thought of pursing this woman at my job is dead in it tracks so I’ll just be chilling til January.
Was originally going go 2 months no sexual activity but I’ve decided to just instead of eliminating orgasms, simply spreading them out over 30 days. So December 10, and then one per month going into the new year. Not sure what type of results that will or won’t give me but that’s what I’m going do. I’m well on my way to reaching 90 days no porn. I feel like atleast with that I’ve turned the corner even though I’m not overconfident or gojng let my guard down.
Day 61. Officially 2 months. Never been this committed or gone this long in my LIFE. Still not healed, during sexual intercourse I still need to fantasize to get off which isn’t good, but with blowjobs not so much, maybe it’s because head is without a condom(and she’s really good as well doesn’t hurt) and I can feel all the sensations better. Also a small win is when I do have sexual thoughts in the day about women or scenarios it’s no longer porn associated but simply having sex. I have a woman I’m dealing with right now, which is also a plus. Might have her spend a night with me to further rewire but we will see how that goes.
Day 62. Got a blow job today. Went 7 days prior of abstinence. I think I need to go atleast 21-30 days in between orgasms. Had to fantasize somewhat to get off even though I can still feel the sensations. Going go another month without ejaculating. The next time I participate in sexual activity will be at 90-91 days .
An addicted brain will seek or try to find any reason to look at what it knows it shouldn’t. I’ve never starved my brain this long from artificial sexual stimulation so I find the longer I try to abstain the harder it gets in some cases. Found myself typing things into my Google search but not actually clicking on it. Nonetheless I’m dragging myself to the finish line…..day 75.
Day 78. Happy new year to everyone. So yesterday had sex with a woman I’ve been dealing with and did a different position this time. Normally I only do doggystyle but yesterday did doggystyle and finished with her on top. She commented I seemed bigger when she was on top. Maybe my arousal was higher and in addition I wasn’t using a condom. Oh well just thought I’d share that with y’all. Don’t intend on using condoms with her anymore since she’s the only one I’m seeing and my paperwork is good.