Finally putting this behind me so i can live my life

Michael89

Member
Never done anything like this before, but gotta be willing to try something different if you want better results. Anyway this is my first official journal on either Reboot Nation or YourBrainRebalanced(been on both sites off and on for years). Well first things first, my backstory is I started PMO'ing in 2014 at 24 years old(I'm 33 now). I always watched porn as a teenager but didn't start masturbating until 24 and then I added visual stimulation(porn) to the practice and was instantly hooked. Another underlying factor why i never thought to stop was because all of my life i've never had an luck with women which caused me much depression and bitterness, so i stopped pursuing women in college(and after graduation) for the most part and became content with PMO. Anyway to be fully transparent i've always said over the years i was going quit this practice but never truly did. Sure i went 4 months without PMO in 2016, and i've gone recently 8 months without PMO from November 9, 2021 to July 9, 2021(had a no hands orgasm viewing an escort add) but never shut ARTIFICIAL SEXUAL STIMULATION completely out of my life. I either was looking at IG picture or going on escort ads to fine women to meet up with. So now i'm committing to doing everything i can finally complete a true 90 days. I've also taken measures to maximize my chances of success. My rules are...

  1. No Instagram - This is the only social media account i have, but off course has the most sexual triggers, and i've relapsed many times on this app, or something on this app was a precursor to me eventually relapsing off it. I've decided to finally step away from it completely. I on Day 28 today, and plan to stay off until October which will put me a few weeks shy of 90 days.
  2. Limit time on Youtube and be very conscious of what I view - Youtube isn't a huge trigger for me, but i an addicted mind will find a way to justify many things. I have a desire to international travel in the near future, but many of the videos talking about certain countries of interests of mine will have lots of close ups of attractive women in thongs and g-strings. It would probably be best for me to limit traveling informative videos for a minute
  3. Monitor movie intake - If i'm going watch Netflix or Hula, avoid movies that are very sexual in nature. I know what those movies are, my addicted mind just finds way to justify "it's just a movie, not a big deal"
  4. No visiting escort sites - Won't get into a moral debate on whether a man should see them or not, that's up to the individual. I like seeing them though and plan on continuing but right now those sites most be eliminated as well.
 

Michael89

Member
No Porn or Porn Subs - Day 9
No orgasm - Day 9

Today is day 9, the last few days been tempted to want to see an escort, but i'm trying to stay the course and delay gratification and make it to October 19. Today will be a very chill day. Run some errands, go for a walk this morning(i love walks, it really helps with stress and my peace of mind) and work at 4pm.
 

Michael89

Member
Day 19, feeling really horny this morning. Desiring sex, but know I need to abstain from orgasm for a while. Working 10-9 today so going be a long day.
 

Michael89

Member
Day 24 feels very similar to day 18 & 19. Desire for sex, and addicted brain seeking out sexual content to read to get some type of dopamine release. Sexual fantasy is the catalyst to seeking out content to read. That tends to happen in the morning when my sexual desire is the highest in my opinion (or after i exercise). "Hard" mode definitely lives up to it name. I just gotta fight through my desires for immediate gratification and accept abstinence is needed now, but it's only for a short season.
 

Michael89

Member
Day 26

Approaching a month of no porn, have had a few self inflicted flair ups but for the most part i've been very disciplined with what i set out to do. I deleted my IG app back on July 2nd so i even prior to my reboot i was off Instagram which is the biggest trigger for me. I got back on one month later and stayed on for 12 days and removed it again. WHY? because i know like many past rebooters the longer i stay on social media the more i open up myself to going and seeking out artificial sexual stimulation. In terms of movies, only watched a couple since i started my reboot nothing with sexual imagery in it, and haven't gone on any escort sites.

At this point the main thing is dealing with sexual thoughts/fantasy in the morning, but the majority of my thoughts are about past sexual experiences with escorts which is i'd imagine better than me recalling porn that i masturbated too, but i guess that's a matter of opinion. Even though i still have PIED i do think that's a positive sign because that means my thoughts are changing. The last time i actually PMO'ed was Nov 9, 2021 so i do think that beast is behind me. but the beast of artificial sexual stimulation in general i still haven't completely overcome because my brain is still addicted.

Good day though, working a double. Like i said yesterday, my focus is on losing weight/getting in shape, taking up this new language and paying off my credit card debt. I also have a few friends coming to see me in late August and sometime in September which gives me something to look forward too.
 

Michael89

Member
Been gone, but dedicated to finish the year strong. Won't be on everyday but will periodically keep everyone updated on where i'm at.

Day 4 porn free
Day 6 PMO
 
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