200 Days and Counting

Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 16 - back from Iceland and back to reality. We got in at 9:30 last night which felt like 4:30 in the morning; I cannot sleep on airplanes, so I’m exhausted. Got 3 hours sleep, and now I’ve been lying here awake for 20 minutes. This would be prime justifiable porn time for me: “I need to sleep, PMO will help me sleep, so porn is like a natural sleep aid.”

Fuck that lie.

I need to wake up at 4:30am (75 minutes from now) to drive 2.5 hours to play in a charity golf tournament with my in-laws. I suck at golf. My alarm is set, I came here instead of in my hand, time for a bit of sleep.
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 18. Oh man, gotta remain vigilant. I watched Noah Lyles break the American 200m sprint record on YouTube yesterday. I couldn’t sleep well last night, so I got up, made a cup of herbal tea, and planned to watch a disc golf video (laugh if you will). What does the YouTube algorithm recommend? The Russian Womens high jump championships. Watched for about three minutes, then thought, “whoa…I am not appreciating these woman’s athletic prowess so much as staring at their asses when they land on the mat.” So, I watched another recommended video on dopamine tolerance. YouTube wants to help me fail and succeed simultaneously; whatever keeps me clicking.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
I don’t want to sound like I know what I am talking about, but 18 days is impressive however it’s still early days. The urges come thick and fast in the first month, so high jumpers‘ arses are perfectly acceptable. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Just don’t watch porn and try not to masturbate.
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Zeile said:
Day 21 - I will be porn free. I changed my thread title because, while true, it was super lame.
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Dang, having the strongest urges today since I quit. Had sex a few times this week and that must have got my libido rolling again. Glad for this resource. Porn is not an option. I will admire my morning wood from afar.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
I reckon you’ve got this. Do you like the new you? Is your brain changing? Don’t ever go back. Please don’t.
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 25. Yes, I like that I’ve cut porn out of my life. Not ready to declare myself a new man, but porn and masturbation always left me feeling weak and guilty. My sex life is slowly improving, but I know cutting porn is a necessity to getting my mojo back. My wife is always down for sex, but rarely initiates. I had little motivation to initiate when I was turning to porn. Whatever happens going forward, I’ve put myself in a better position and removed this vice one day at a time. If I fail, it won’t be today.
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 26 - posting quick with the hopes of falling back asleep and resuming my dream. Giggiddy.
 
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Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Zeile said:
Day 26 - posting quick with the hopes of falling back asleep and resuming my dream. Giggitty.
Click to expand...
Fell back asleep, and….

I’m driving along near where I grew up. I hit terrible traffic, so I quickly take a new highway exit as the brake lights hit. I need to be somewhere. This turns out not to be a highway, but a convoluted mess of turns, roundabouts, mud, and construction. I’m driving way too fast, cutting corners and curbs in my Prius, actually catching air. I reach a fork that will lead me further down the gridlocked road or onto a muddy path heading to the mountains. I choose the unknown and get myself stuck at the bottom of a 100 foot pit. I have a rope on the front of my Prius like you’d find on a sled, so I can drag it out of the mud with surprising ease. However, I’m still stuck in this pit. I pull out my cellphone to call my folks or 911. I’m not panicked, but I’m pissed. Talk about a shitty detour. And where’s that girl from my earlier dream? We had unfinished business…

no porn today
 
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