51 - The Bee’s Knees
Day 55 - I’ll say it’s quite a bit easier than when I started. I mean, I forgot to post for the first time yesterday which is a double edged sword. Not obsessing but can’t get complacent. I think deleting Instagram was a GREAT move for me. Make bad habits harder to access.
With school starting and being fully present for my kids until 7:30pm, I’ve been super busy so not a ton of bored time for urges. Just stressed and not sleeping well. Having to develop curriculum as I go is fucking exhausting and never ending. Today, I started teaching a chess workshop which filled my bucket. Super fun playing with beginners and helping them understand my moves and providing takebacks when they blow it.
I don’t know. Things are going well pornwise, but I know I must remain committed. Th
Thanks for checking in
Hell yes. Especially to constant self recognition. I beat the shit out of myself mentally. I do so much good for my family and many of the kids at my school. I will celebrate successes.Hi @Zeile,
What you wrote here is what I would call ideal for recovery:
1. Keeping busy
2. Helping others
3. Achievements and completions
4. Happiness in activity
I would like to add please
1. Constant self recognition
2. Weekends in the sun
3. Lots of rest and sleep
Our aim is the long run, and the path is to develop and live a healthy and sustainable lifestyle that has absolutely no need for external addictive support.
So think not of the commitment to stay clean.
Think instead what are the good you can continue to do for yourself and make your life something you want and enjoy all the time.
I love the sanctity of my word. If I break my word with the alcohol forum, I can justify breaking my word here as well.
I have a pretty strong history of alcoholism on my mom’s side. I am a light drinker, but I think I have the potential to lose control with alcohol, so I’m conflicted about how to handle my future.As an alcoholic, I am happy you are not one and can enjoy it! I can imagine a few beers might lower your resolve with porn though..
Funny thing - I post to this site using a private browser. I don't want it showing up if my kids use my computer to search anything up. Sharing the positive choice of quitting porn requires sharing a past of viewing porn. I haven't even shared with my wife that I'm doing this. I need to do have that conversation. Two months in, and I'm probably on step 4 were this a 12 step program. Step 5 is defined by integrity - admitting to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.I love the sanctity of my word. If I break my word with the alcohol forum, I can justify breaking my word here as well.
That said, I’m conflicted with the alcohol forum. If I choose to allow myself beers on certain occasions, I don’t want to share that with recovering alcoholics. I want to be honest but not weaken their resolve. I will probably thank them for the support and explain that it’s time for me to go my own way. Or just
When I’m ready to pull away from this site, I’ll lay it all on the table. I have nothing to fear or hide when it comes to my future relationship with porn.