Keep pushing forward Awareness! All we can do is learn, grow, continue to try new things or new approaches
That's absolutely right. It happens to me too. I stay away from PMO for a not so long period of time and I see differences on mental and energy levels. But it could fluctuate, it does for me, I go through days when I feel like shit and they could become and invitation for the addicted brain to say: "See, it's not working, nofap is overrated, they lied to you to make you suffer, just stop being a stubborn dickhead and do some PMO." In those moments we need to remain connected to our perspective: We are done with porn. We are not using PMO anymore. Good luck, man.I am surprised every time by the inner peace, serenity and joy I feel, even when I am only away from PMO for a few days.
At the moment I can only imagine what it will be like after 30, 60, 90 .... days. On the one hand, it motivates me to finally lead a happy life. On the other hand, I know that the initial motivation gradually decreases after a relapse. It will be important for me not to rest on my laurels - even if it is only for 7 days - but to remain attentive and to use all the tools at my disposal.
I find it impressive to see that there are rebooters here in the forum with a long time without a PMO and still stay there and post. That is a crucial key.
I realise how little/poor sleep and my defence mechanisms correlate. Yesterday was a bit more difficult, I was tired and that is a real trigger for me.
Tonight I woke up in the middle of the night with an erection and touched myself a bit before I woke up properly and went to the toilet, no P no O.
What is saving me at the moment is not taking my phone into the bedroom.
Prevention really is everything!
Yes, everyone here knows how this goes: You go to a place online where there is risk to find porn substitutes (like me and Youtube). You see something triggering and BAM! In my case, especially when I have massive urges, something like that gives me the hardest rush imaginable.Had a tough afternoon today. While exploring new music - already at this point I think you can find the error - on Spotify I came across a cover of an attractive woman. I followed this path and then lost me for some time further and further in it until I "woke up", immediately packed my things and ran to the gym almost and trained me until just almost broken. It felt like a relapse. Same mechanism.
What is different though is how I deal with it, "in the past" I would never have gone out but would have been lost. This again puts me in a very positive mood and I immediately pick up where I left off for a short time this afternoon and was another.
I can clearly identify two triggers I should guard against in the future: Got a lot of work to take home and the decision was on the table to go to the new sport or not. I did not go, worked and still felt overwhelmed with the nature of the work, which immediately triggers anxiety and discomfort in me.
The fact that I didn't go to the new sport as planned felt like I was deceiving myself.
Say: implement such positive plans, the work can wait.
Yes, the first paragraph explains very well something that I've probably said as well around here at some point. Gabe Deem calls them superstimulus, an exaggerated version of a natural reward. Junk food and porn do this, they hijack our natural pathways that develop anyway whether we like it or not (feeding ourselves and reproducing). Of course, just like you said, the key is to have a healthy relationship with sex, sexuality and food. But, unfortunately, some of us started with porn at ages like 12 before we even knew wtf sex was and our brain got trained to see sex and women in an unhealthy way, I'm very positive that porn has made me obsessed with cheap sex done for my pleasure only. That's what goes through my head and I blame porn for this. I'm fighting to re-brainwash myself back to normal. But maybe it's more difficult now cause I'm single. I don't know what to say about this.It's so scary what this drug of all drugs does to us.
Recently I was talking about the effects of P and why it's so damn hard to get off of it. In the book "Your Brain on porn", it is aptly described that P starts at our existence. It's like overeating, we can't absolutely give eating up - in this case sexuality - but need to find a healthy, measured way.
After some wonderful days, yesterday's incident taught me once again that I have to be attentive to my feelings.
One of the biggest challenges for me is dealing with these negative feelings.
Even though it seems like cheating, I don't reset the counter (day 12). Feel free guys to write me what you think about it and also if you disagree, or if you notice that I'm lying to myself!
However, if such a situation occurs again, no matter how supposedly harmless, I see it as a relapse - even if it's not directly P I'm looking at.
I wish everyone much strength on your way today, be aware!
I'm a little confused, did you actually look at porn or just porn substitutes?Even though it seems like cheating, I don't reset the counter (day 12). Feel free guys to write me what you think about it and also if you disagree, or if you notice that I'm lying to myself!
Indeed it is. But let's never forget, we have the power to quit!It's so scary what this drug of all drugs does to us.