If you ejaculate without stimulation, see the journey!

QanWaz

Member
Hi everybody! My problem ends and journey starts here.


Qan is here. I was a Porn addict and now I'm abstaining from it for months on and off. I need information about maybe rare sexual problem i.e. EJACULATION WITHOUT PHYSICAL STIMULATION even while watching just any GIRL'S THIES or BOOTY!!! I don't know what is it called? What's the cure for it? That's why I'm here to figure it out. What's wrong?


Backdrop Story: How I ended up here?


I've been an occasional Porn user maybe after weeks or even months. Before Porn I had PE problem in masturbation despite my healthy diet and routine workouts bcz I was regular Gym Geek and big time into the fitness world. But, out of curiosity and boredom I turned heavily addicted to Porn in Covid lockdown and used to spend like hours every single day. I didn't masturbate but pleased myself with over-fantasizing stuff while watching. After couple of months with same routine, one day when I was watching hard core Porn, my penis had been hard for like an good hour under my thighs. While I was in my fantasy realm, I felt the strong orgasm and Boom, I exploded (ejaculated) without even touching my penis.


It was the most shocking experience for me in 22 years of my life. I would say I stayed shock for hours and days that what did just happened to me!!! I was curious that was it happened only then or is it still there? So, I kept on watching and checking that "Ejaculation without stimulation" which became even more easy and quick than before.


I was grounded under the burden of that fact. I quite Porn for few days out of fear and started watching CrossFit games due to my interest in sports. Over there, female athletes wear short clothes and their beauty parts are emphasized especially thies and booties bcz of their size and curves. When I started putting my focus on that part of the game and female athletes, I realized, my brain responded the exact same way as during the porn i.e. Ejaculation without Stimulation. Yes! You read it right., I ejaculated while looking at female athletes' Thies and Booties when they were standing and walking.


I'm still struggling with this Ejaculation without Stimulation but don't know what is it called and where to seek help and what's the way out? I just quite almost every single woman on mobile screen but it is nailing me down. I saw Geebe Deem on YouTube and I felt hope! That's why I'm here. I don't wish it for anybody but I came here to share my story and see are there anyone who shares the same struggle as I do.
 
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QanWaz

Member
8th day NOPO(NoPorn) Review

1. Status

Nopo Done (NoPorn + any stimulating stuff Today)

2. Morning wood
Had multiple strong morning woods today. Felt amazing!! Infact, NRB twice today. Happy for that!!!

3. Libido & Urges

Not serious desire for sex or porn urges. Can't call it flatline bcz of NRBs and one urge due to one YouTube video.
Feeling improved because I totally cut off my triggers especially indirect one i.e. YouTube shorts and FB etc.

4. Depression/ Motivation
Studied my ass off + routine duty at work. Still feeling hunger for work at the end of the day. Feeling motivated but one thing which was teasing me is my lost Gym routine. Yeah, I'm losing energy by not doing that.

5. Self talk onurges

Only one video of semi-naked woman passed in front of my eyes and I hugely attracted towards that may be dopamine hit. I wanted to watch that multiple times, but I cut off deliberately saying to myself that I know I want that but it will not yield positive result.
I should say that this is just due to dopamine and the real ME don't want it at all. I should embrace this chemical suck and move forward.

6. Obedience to Fast of social media and free Google

Yes, didn't scroll on social media aimlessly. Schedule dictated.
I'm also locking up my free Google means without any protection. I'm using AppBlock every single day.

7. Entertainment
I take breaks in between my intense study sessions and listen to music.
I also used to go to my friends physically to have chit-chat and trust me it's relieving. We play cards together and have jokes and smiles like blast.
I'm also planning to start working out which serves me like meditation!!

8. Insomnia
Last night, I slept at 3 a.m. which was out of my book. Actually, this has been happening for last week. But, one good thing is when I sleep, my sleep is soo strong and deep that it recharges me completely. I use to get sleepy often when I lay back and study stuff. Maybe late night sleep is due to my disturb routine of getting up late at day.

9. Aftermath feeling
Right now at 12:45 A.M. I'm feeling not sublime but somehow satisfied that I'm on my way. I'm worried about somekind of sex phobia that I have developed in my mind by abstaining almost every possible stimulus. But, right now, I'm saying to myself that I'm not going anywhere and I'm not negotiating with myself. I'm doing it no matter what!!!
 

aymentech45

Member
I'm worried about somekind of sex phobia that I have developed in my mind by abstaining almost every possible stimulus
Always believe that you are in the right way, not matter how your approach It is, we all have that kind of fear of faillure and going back to the that dirty place. Because faillure is the powerful trigger for an addict to go and practice masturbation.
 

QanWaz

Member
Roger that!!! I'm on it.
I don't know who you are but your response really felt better. Alteast, I've realized that I'm not writing for algorithms πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Thanks!
Always believe that you are in the right way, not matter how your approach It is, we all have that kind of fear of faillure and going back to the that dirty place. Because faillure is the powerful trigger for an addict to go and practice masturbation.
 
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QanWaz

Member
9th day NOPO(NoPorn) Review

1. Status

Nopo Done (NoPorn + any stimulating stuff Today)

2. Morning wood
Multiple morning woods but no NRB today.

3. Libido & Urges
Not serious desire for sex or porn urges today also except one YouTube video of gym girl. Strong urge that time but waited and diverted so the strom passed.
Otherwise, cut off almost every possible trigger like YouTube scrolling and FB.

4. Depression/ Motivation
Not serious feeling of low. Instead, studied MAO (my ass off) upto schedule today also. Still feeling hungry for work.
Motivation can be gauged from the fact that I'm on summer vacations but I'm full on strict study schedule.

5. Self talk on urges
On video of gym girl on YouTube, the urge was strong but said to myself that it is will result the same i.e. Ejaculation without Stimulation.
I should say that this is just due to dopamine and the real mep don't want it at all. I should embrace this chemical suck and move forward. Next time IA.

6. Obedience to Fast of social media and free Google
Yes, didn't scroll on social media aimlessly. Schedule dictated.
Didn't lock up Google on AppBlock but didn't open Google the whole day. Amazing!!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

7. Entertainment
Listened to music in between study sessions.
Sat with my BF Janna today for two hours and joked and discussed our goals for 2 hrs. Social interaction and chit-chat is very meditative. Trust me!

8. Insomnia
Slept full deep sleep last night and more shockingly on 12:30 a.m. I think the sun is rising now. Glad for that!

9. Dreams
Last night two sweet dreams. Social interaction with female friends but absolutely no bad thought even that was dream. Happy here also!

10. Aftermath feeling
Right now, I'm feeling almost normal or level balance. More pleasure after intense sessions of focused study and abstention. Satisfied for reaching the target i.e. one more day!!!
Perfect energy for the next day✊
 

QanWaz

Member
10th day NOPO(NoPorn) Review

1. Status

Nopo Done (NoPorn + any stimulating stuff Today)

2. Morning wood
Multiple morning woods, no NRBs throughout the day but right now while writing this I'm turning on. Hilarious! don't know why.

3. Libido & Urges
No urges or libido today. Almost flatline.
Didn't scroll aimlessly.

4. Depression & Motivation
No signs of depression and anxiety today. Felt pretty normal/ level balanced. Had some study sessions today also.

5. Self talk on urges
Yeah on one video while searching something on YouTube, I lifted myself saying this temptation is just dopamine in my mind. I just have to look at something and the tide will flow away. That's it and it worked. I let that go and I forgot about it after a while bcz got busy.

6. Obedience to Fast of social media and free Google

No scrolling today also and didn't lock my free google but didn't go for checking. Instead, I used SPIN browser for Search which is save.

7. Entertainment
Music in between study sessions, went with Riz for fast food today. Had Blast-Chat there. Enjoyed the time!

8. Insomnia
Last night, wowww! I just laid and closed my eyes for sleep and magic happened immediately. I got asleep there and then. One more Deep sleep. Grateful for that!!!

9. Dreams
Yeah had some sweet dreams last night which I remembered when I got up, but now, totally out of my mind. Btw they were felt goodπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

10. Aftermath feeling

Right now, the feeling is top class. Maybe due to recent intense study session just before writing this down. Overall, I can say that I'm seeing rising sun now!
I want this type of feeling at the end of every day and will get it at any cost. IA✊
 

QanWaz

Member
11th day NOPO(NoPorn) Review

1. Status

Nopo Done (NoPorn) but one gaze at a beautiful girl near my house. Almost dragged towards her. Didn't remember the lesson of dopamine hit.

2. Morning wood
Strong morning woods and NRBs today.

3. Libido & Urges
Feeling urges right now but suppressing them by seeing my progress and taking it as part of my process of withdrawal. Embracing and talking through it not running from it.

4. Depression & Motivation
No special signs of depression just some worries about my inability to break the plateau in study schedule. I'm not advancing.
I'm putting some deliberate pressure on my mind by not letting it have comfort while studying for plasticity.

5. Self talk on urges
Although, I was dragged to that girl today but I forced myself to look away and leave. This is just by saying to myself that the reason why you want to see her more and more is your brain is having dopamine right now and we need to snatch that shit from him!

6. Obedience to Fast of social media and free Google
No scrolling and searching on social media and free Google today.

7. Entertainment
Music and cards with friends. Planning for home workout but not doing bcz of diet.

8. Insomnia
Despite, my sleep is late at night, but I can say with confidence that it is getting normal. Thankfully ❀️
Don't take it as exceptional case of quick recovery, I have been rebooting for quite a long although relapsed often. Yes, I also went through sleepless nights on early days.

9. Dreams
Didn't remember the dreams today also. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

10. Aftermath feeling
Feeling is of both pain & pleasure. Pain due to my worry of not being able to see girls as normal + study schedule + ohh hair loss (that's hard) + no workout. But pleasure is due to progress in sleep + motivay + less anxiety + days of abstention.
Take away from today's review is remember the triggers, dopamine hit and walking away.
 

QanWaz

Member
12th day NOPO(NoPorn) Review

1. Status

Nopo Done (NoPorn)

2. Morning wood
Today's morning woods and NRBs were the best by far!!! Made my energy double.

3. Libido & Urges
Man.... Right after when I wake up, I had very very strong urges and flashbacks. The strongest feelings in my reboot.

4. Depression & Motivation
Nothing like depression and anxiety today. Worried about my hair loss bcz this shit is serious.

5. Self talk on urges
Today when I got urges in the morning, surprisingly, I was excited and somehow happy bcz of flatline of previous day. I felt energised and arosed maybe it was dopamine but I felt coming back to form.

6. Obedience to Fast of social media and free Google
No scrolling and searching on social media and free Google today.

7. Entertainment
Went to snooker club with Riz and other friends, talked to friends, spent 3 hrs with family having eventful talking and sharing. Late at night watched a movie Avengement which was amazing!

8. Insomnia
Didn't sleep last night bcz I woke up at 12 a.m. previous morning.

9. Dreams
No sleep, no dream today.

10. Aftermath feeling
Feeling okay and ready to fight another day, but, I'm feeling kind of Phobia from orgasm and anything relating to that stimulus. Maybe it is my exaggeration and oversensitivity but it is saving me till now.
Take away from today's review is keep on going till the target and don't care about feeling best or worst. Bad feeling is due to attacks of weak voice. So, listen to the other voice!!!
 

QanWaz

Member
Don't take it as exceptional case of quick recovery, I have been rebooting for quite a long although relapsed often. Yes, I also went through sleepless nights on early days.
I was talking about sleepless nights yesterday and they didn't let me miss them. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Got me today!
 

QanWaz

Member
13th day NOPO(NoPorn) Review

1. Status

Nopo Done (NoPorn)πŸ’š

2. Morning wood
Normal morning woods but unusual NRBs today several times. It's peaking!!!πŸ’š

3. Libido & Urges
Thoughts and flashbacks which make me arose immediately even right now while writing this down!! πŸ”΄

4. Depression & Motivation
I think depression has disappeared. I'm motivated to do work.πŸ’š

5. Self talk on urges
My self talk while urges is becoming more and more ingrained bcz every time I get thinking urge I say to myself that this is just dopamine rise which I embrace and let it pass by getting busy into something else. Thoughts follow actions!πŸ’›

6. Obedience to Fast of social media and free Google
No scrolling on YouTube and Fb and search on Google today deliberately.πŸ’š

7. Entertainment
Snooker and laughters with friends. Workout is missing πŸ’›

8. Insomnia
I'm getting sleepy right now. Getting better πŸ’›

9. Dreams
Wet dream last night but didn't remember the dream. πŸ’›

10. Aftermath feeling
Feeling normal and not burdened by the task. I'm taking one day at a time not too much.πŸ’š

11. Takeaway from today
Embrace the urges and withdrawal symptoms and change the action which will replace the storm of emotions. Thoughts follow actions.
 

QanWaz

Member
14th day NOPO(NoPorn) Review

1. Status

Nopo Done (NoPorn)+Social Media stimulationπŸ’š

2. Morning wood
Several morning woods and NRBs today.πŸ’š

3. Libido & Urges
No serious urges today. Arosed multiple times but took it as normal.πŸ’š

4. Depression & Motivation
Depression is dead and disappeared!πŸ’š

5. Self talk on urges
Didn't need that today. πŸ’š

6. Obedience to Fast of social media and free Google
No scrolling on YouTube and search on Google today deliberately.πŸ’š

7. Entertainment
Snooker, Study, Chat with friends! πŸ’š

8. Insomnia
Slept pretty well last nightπŸ’š

9. Dreams
Dreamt last night but didn't remember nowπŸ’›

10. Aftermath feeling
Feeling accomplished due to fulfilling the task of today i.e. Asbtaining.πŸ’š

11. Takeaway from today
These kind of normal day can trick our mind to think why aren't we getting urges which can push us into the corner of complacency again. So, embrace normal days as normal and don't let it to visit complacency. Stick to the basics!!
 

QanWaz

Member
15th day NOPO(NoPorn) Review
πŸ’š=Good, πŸ’›=Not Bad, ❀️=Bad

1. Status
Nopo Done (NoPorn)+No aimless Social Media πŸ’š

2. Morning wood
Yeah norm morning woods and NRBs.πŸ’š

3. Libido & Urges
Got urges multiple times while studying.πŸ’›

4. Depression & Motivation
Worried about study and my hair but not addiction. πŸ’›

5. Self talk on urges
Took my urges as normal flow of emotions and kept myself busy in something else. πŸ’š

6. Obedience to Fast of social media and free Google
I did scroll on YouTube today which was unconsciously. Will diminish tomorrow.πŸ’›

7. Entertainment
Snooker, Cards and Chat with friends.πŸ’š

8. Insomnia
Sleepless night. I think it was just the shift of schedule or maybe due to withdrawal.πŸ’›

9. Dreams
No memorable dream last night.πŸ’›

10. Aftermath feeling
In between pain and pleasure. Pain due to lack of study sessions, hair fall, workout. My pleasure is due to achieving today's goal of abstaining. SatisfiedπŸ’š

11. Takeaways
1. Take urges as normal feelings and embrace them and right that time, deliberately, change the activity.
2. Feeling low or not lifted is normal.
3. Don't skip setting and achieving goals in other areas of life bcz it will bring peace to that areas which may cover addiction area too.
 

QanWaz

Member
16th day NOPO(NoPorn) Review


1. Status

Nopo Done (NoPorn)+No aimless Social Media

2. Morning wood
Yeah norm morning woods and NRBs.

3. Libido & Urges
No urges at home but saw one woman on the road which hit my eyes and then dopamine

4. Depression & Motivation
No addiction-induced depression.
Motivation for studying was low bcz didn't catching my schedule.

5. Self talk on urges
No serious talk just changed the situation which changed the thoughts.

6. Obedience to Fast of social media and free Google
Didn't scroll but didn't remember not to scroll.

7. Entertainment
Didn't take entertainment today.

8. Insomnia
Slept well last night.

9. Dreams
Nightmare about Atomic Strike in my hometown.

10. Aftermath feeling
Feeling low bcz of my inability to control my sex disorder. Although I'm in reboot for last 15 days but it really haunts me whenever I face a beautiful woman suddenly. Anyhow, I know that there is permanent pleasure after this temporary pain.
Not in mood to come up with takeaways. Better luck for me tomorrow.
 
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