Will it work this time?

Rdy4chg

New Member
I don’t think my store is like many others. I began prone masterbation very early not realizing what it was, but that it felt good. (I did not masterbate with my hand until I was 19) My parents divorced early, I was 7, and I never really had a father figure. I did see my dad often, but he was a workaholic so we didn’t really know each other. Somehow I developed a bondage fetish about the time of the divorce. I began tying myself and adding masterbation to it. I was religious and very afraid of sexual sin so I stayed away from girls only to date when I was ready for marriage. At 17 I started dating and planned to spend my life with her. She was very religious as well and didn’t pressure me for sex. We eventually broke up for religious reasons and I married at 31. My fiancé and I didn’t fool around because she was divorced with kids and I was still religious and she had become religious. When we married I was awkward for not having been with a woman and I was fast and not gentle. I had brought rope on our honeymoon and I showed her how do use it. Not only was she not interested it was a huge turn off. Then I felt ashamed, that was a common feeling over the years for my interests in being tied.
She got pregnant right away and then we had 3 kids which meant, to her at least, that we didn’t need to have sex often. I was always horny and she was never interested. After about 10 years I began to lose my libido at least for her, she was always stressed and angry feeling trapped by the kids - she didn’t know I would be so fast and that she would get pregnant on the wedding night.
Over the years I did porn of bondage picturing myself in the position of the guy tied. That was my pmo. I viewed it infrequently, but remembered it as I had sex with her to get hard. Now we are 20 years married and she is becoming kind the kids are grown and mostly gone and I have lost my interest in bondage about 95%. I don’t think I could get and stay hard for her yet, but I am closer than I have been in a long time. I am going to try viagra.
So that’s my story. I value everyone’s comments and questions.
 
Top