HalfStepInHell
Member
Hi All
This is I think my 2nd attempt.
I am addicted to PORN (various) and without going into details on how it started (I did write about it in my old post), the last year has been sometimes good, sometimes not so much. Masturbation and by proxy, porn, has been my almost every day routine since I was 12 (37 now) with some rare periods where I was holding off for few days/weeks.
Since my last time being here I tried several times to "hold" but usually it was few days, up to a week. But I need to make another try and hopefully get over it and hopefully it will last this time.
I am married and with my wife we are going to move soon to our first home (hopefully by end of the year) and this is a change of environment that we both need. Unfortunatelly now (since Covid hit) we are living with my in-laws and we don't have many occasions to have sex, due to time constrains and place. I was thinking that if I focus on a quality of our sex life, it will be easier to fight of the porn, but I was proved wrong, as unconciously I am compensating the lack of occasions to make love to each other with masturbation (that almost everytime has porn as a stimulator) and our lovemaking suffers because of that.
Due to all that I have ED, where I can get an errection, but unfortunatelly the excitement does not stay long with me and due to fact that I need longer to orgasm, somewhere in the middle of our lovemaking I get soft (not fully, but it affects mainly me) and usually it's a "hard work" with binging back some memories of porn for me to have my orgasm.
Fortunately I was learning the ways of making my wife come, like the massage, sometimes toys, but the Love of my life does not want them as much as my penis inside her when she orgasm, so I am trying to compromise and prepare her with massage and then try to hold hardness as long as I can so she can come and after that try to come myself. The issue with that is that sometimes it takes too long and I have many times told myself "I will not come like this" and although I am able to give her an orgasm, I feel like it is very dissapointing, as she wants to give me one too, but I am worried that she may think she does not excite me or something, when I can't finish, when the problem I think is in me.
I also am taking some pills to keep me hard longer (taladafil) and it helps, but it treats only a symptom, not the cause, as in general I am a picture of health, at least on paper, but I need to improve my fitnes that is awfull due to sitting job. So not as bad as it can be, but I want better life than that, especially when masturbation eats a lot of time, that I should spend on more productive activities.
So here I am trying again to improve my life.
This is I think my 2nd attempt.
I am addicted to PORN (various) and without going into details on how it started (I did write about it in my old post), the last year has been sometimes good, sometimes not so much. Masturbation and by proxy, porn, has been my almost every day routine since I was 12 (37 now) with some rare periods where I was holding off for few days/weeks.
Since my last time being here I tried several times to "hold" but usually it was few days, up to a week. But I need to make another try and hopefully get over it and hopefully it will last this time.
I am married and with my wife we are going to move soon to our first home (hopefully by end of the year) and this is a change of environment that we both need. Unfortunatelly now (since Covid hit) we are living with my in-laws and we don't have many occasions to have sex, due to time constrains and place. I was thinking that if I focus on a quality of our sex life, it will be easier to fight of the porn, but I was proved wrong, as unconciously I am compensating the lack of occasions to make love to each other with masturbation (that almost everytime has porn as a stimulator) and our lovemaking suffers because of that.
Due to all that I have ED, where I can get an errection, but unfortunatelly the excitement does not stay long with me and due to fact that I need longer to orgasm, somewhere in the middle of our lovemaking I get soft (not fully, but it affects mainly me) and usually it's a "hard work" with binging back some memories of porn for me to have my orgasm.
Fortunately I was learning the ways of making my wife come, like the massage, sometimes toys, but the Love of my life does not want them as much as my penis inside her when she orgasm, so I am trying to compromise and prepare her with massage and then try to hold hardness as long as I can so she can come and after that try to come myself. The issue with that is that sometimes it takes too long and I have many times told myself "I will not come like this" and although I am able to give her an orgasm, I feel like it is very dissapointing, as she wants to give me one too, but I am worried that she may think she does not excite me or something, when I can't finish, when the problem I think is in me.
I also am taking some pills to keep me hard longer (taladafil) and it helps, but it treats only a symptom, not the cause, as in general I am a picture of health, at least on paper, but I need to improve my fitnes that is awfull due to sitting job. So not as bad as it can be, but I want better life than that, especially when masturbation eats a lot of time, that I should spend on more productive activities.
So here I am trying again to improve my life.