Reclamation
Member
I'm 28. Over the past 18 years, my porn addiction has evolved into a sex-seeking addiction. It's not just porn that's the issue anymore. It's:
Core emotional issues and themes:
- Attachment issues and sexual obsession, hyper-sexuality and a constant sense of missing out - Hyper-focused on obtaining external mates, approval and desire from females - A motive to do everything in my life in order to attract someone instead of focusing on myself
- An interest in real life voyeurism and novel sex (recreating porn interests), joining kink, poly and swinger sites, browsing and visiting escorts, seeking encounters, using dating apps and chats addictively. Confusion around commitment and desires
- Changes in sexual orientation interests at times, have acted on it a bit
- Penis/penis-function based worth and trauma - Bad masturbation habits at a high frequency - Chronic pelvic pain and dysfunction (numb)
- Fantasy (reinforces the issues)
- Warped, unnatural interests, taboo/immoral/racist themes, hardcore and novelty for dopamine highs
- Coping with craving, withdrawals and discomfort
- Snooping on social media (girls, exes etc.) and getting triggered
- A core addiction to technology - Porn, porn references, triggers and ads everywhere
- Seeking and fishing in general... (looking for it anywhere I can find it)
Core emotional issues and themes:
- Attachment issues. Unprocessed relationship grief, resentment, sadness, confusion, attachment, longing, jealousy
- Lack of purpose on an ultimate level, mundane level and career/life level
- Aging and appearance - Clinging to youth, relevance and what they mean - Apperance based worth
- Highly sensitive plus a noisy ruminative mind - issues around self-regulation
- Being behind in life, executive dysfunction, overwhelm, paralysis, addiction/default to planning but not initiating - Not in the career I wanted
- Loneliness, No real hobbies, trouble initiating them based on the above. Lack of belonging
- Regret
- Chronic invalidation
- Chronic pleasing and reassurance seeking - Low assertiveness and self-defense
- Highly sensitive with emotional dysregulation
- Childhood neglect, conflict and immature parent, family dysfunctions and conflict growing up
- CPTSD - Many small traumas
- Chronic shame all tied in and low sense of identity - Using criticism, perfection and pressure as motivation. Extreme self-pressure - Not good at dropping things to focus on the important. Everything is important (also an executive function issue)
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