A journal

[Winnerwhoabstains]

Well - I just got pretty upset but stopping by here has helped me detach. I worked REALLY hard on a video for youtube for days and it did poorly - it actually lost me a few subscribers - not an amount that makes any difference. But it shakes my confidence a bit, I worked so hard on it and thought it'd do well. Now I have doubts like not sure if I can make the channel work. Uggghh.

Well, I think posting very often is definitely the way to go - as I REALLY have no idea how things will do until I post them. I absolutely get the best results when I just post lots. Well, I tried something different, it didn't work too well, what am I gonna do.

 

[Androg]

Trust your inner judge, not those outside of you. Social media is notoriously fickle. Worse yet, if your material is something a powerful group wants suppressed...well...there are algorithms for that.

 

[Winnerwhoabstains]

Trust your inner judge, not those outside of you. Social media is notoriously fickle. Worse yet, if your material is something a powerful group wants suppressed...well...there are algorithms for that.

Quite true, yeah I am viewing it as a job as it's not totally free in terms of what material can be posted. I think posting more often helps me a good bit

 

[Winnerwhoabstains]

Well, I guess I haven't been around as much lately - but I'll give myself credit for consistently coming back and not say disappearing.

I had some lapses a few days ago - I was feeling massive fear of failure and like dread and hopeless - just tons of fear. That led to it I'd say. So I MO'd for the three days in a row, but hey - the lapses have been less intense.

I also got an opportunity to rewire recently. A bit of cuddling and kissing - which I think really helps me to abstain.


I am focused on controlling my mind and thinking positive now, which I think is important and something to work on. I am liking it, just focus on what I want and what I could benefit.

 

[Winnerwhoabstains]

Hmm - a bit up and down. I got too excited by a girl then too let down when it did not work out. Threw me off a bit - but I was productive yesterday and today I have been not following the schedule but taking only positive actions at least.

 

[Winnerwhoabstains]

Followed a full schedule today and it worked out very well. I also did yoga in the morning so I could play team sports tonight - I was really craving that stimulation and excitement - it was great

 

[Winnerwhoabstains]

Woah! Been awhile since I have posted.
I am happy to say I have abstained very well lately. Several months AND I have cut out fantasy as well which I had always struggled to do.
My gosh! It has felt normal but this month my online business thing made enough for me to live off of - the money won't be in my bank account for another month or two lol. But the money is there - wow what a success! Cool to come back here and appreciate the progress.


That being said I came because..... a fairly strong urge hit me! I think some random images triggered me. I feel in control of it and my life is going damn well - but urges happen. I came here as a positive decision to handle this urge.

Thinking about it - my business success is in LARGE part due to my abstaining so well ( including fantasy) my focus is simply so much better than in the past - I can just work better. I am not even needing to work many hours -I simply am performing better.
Anyways - I'll remind myself this urge is a great opportunity to strengthen my abstinence. PLUS - my business life has taken off , and the benefits of this I will feel in the coming months as I get a bit of money in my bank account.

AND - I am actually able to afford a short trip already! It will be cold where I am going but I will have the best opportunities of my life to meet women. So - I will really appreciate it once I am having healty real sex and intimacy with women.
Made possible by my abstinence!