You got this brother!
Been isolating myself a bit lately. Goal focused but lacking in comradery.
Thanks for the support! Well I'll keep making the videos for sureas I am caring for my future self haha. BUT, yeah I think planning some activities could be good. I am going to see a friend today which I think will be really good for me. Shake it up, some mild connect. This reminds me - I think a nap right now'll do me wellHey man. I feel you about this bit:
Sounds like we're in a similar place, although maybe for different reasons. With this addiction I feel like once we get over the initial hump of abstaining for a little while, thoughts are our biggest enemies. Rumination is tough.
Anyhow, good on you for keeping yourself together. Maybe since you've been putting in so much work with your content creation you deserve to take a break for some kind of self care/connection?
1) Fantasized last night - dang
2) Had date with girl, it was okay. I felt dissatisfied, regretful of losing other. What negative thinking. I hung out with a very pretty, smart sweet girl and was thinking about the other one I messed up with.
3) The no internet is crucial. Just wasted 5 hours I don't know ing, like surfing youtube. Got no pleasure from it. Squandered my rest time, super tired and have work to do.
This week :
No internet except for work.
First two days no screen time, except work research.
Next 5 days, I can watch two episdoes of south park in spanish.
CELEBRATE! One of my big goals has been own business. I got a sale for a coaching client, for the first time so I made a tiny bit of money. Pretty cool though, as it was one of goals for februrary
Good question - I was very very interested in her and there were some unique things about her that are in reality very very rare.Congrats on the sale man.
About the regret over the girl, do you feel like you have a sense of where it comes from? Perhaps it could help you to look deeper into those emotions and question why you feel so strongly about it. As you say you have other opportunities with girls, so I'm just curious where it comes from.
Good question - I was very very interested in her and there were some unique things about her that are in reality very very rare.
BUT - I also did idealize her in some ways, like who knows she could have been annoying or whatever.
AND - I was actually even more excited about my date for Friday but after the date was like " meh that was okay" so good to know I idealized both, so it is not necessarily accurate.
The MAIN lesson is that I went out with friend and chatter up some girls yesterday and was around girls today and pushing through the feeling and talking to other girls really really helped me to move on. So good lesson there, like a shark always keep moving lol.
SO I did not keep the commitments from last post fantisized a lot, caught in the loop a bit. I think a re wire partner will help me AND again, just saying " I won't fantasize" does not get it done, having a plan does. In bed at the moment not thinking sexually at all, is the move. I think about a girl, slight sexual fantasy and IMMEDIATELY dip into porn fantasy. I cut down internet but was still on it, but I'll give myself a slight pass.
As like you said about a break, making videos I won't take a break from BUT I can let myself be imperfect otherwise. I am realing in the fantasy and will avoid youtube and watch south park at the moment. So progress over perfection