I appreciate the positivity and kind words, but I kind of think I am right.
This does not mean I hold it against women or anything. But, just being pragmatic, I have found this to be extremely true.
Like it seems women tend to be on the extreme, at least in my big city, where things are fast paced. They are either like chasing and kind of like acting like you are much better than them, or they flip immediately and act like you are a nobody. And I have seen time and again that when I get too like " oh is this time good for?" or " oh this is short notice, we can always do another time?"
Basically what would be considerate if I did it to a friend, normally the girl will flip and then suddenly become a lot less responsive.
I mean I could try and white wash it, but a more accurate and useful mental model for me to keep in mind, is to keep this in mind. And aim to be the one who is the one she is chasing, as that is the frame the girl is coming from. Because if I am in that position I am considerate but I can not show it too much, I don't mean be some jerk, but basically act under the assumption that she is always dying to hang out and make it scarce.
I guess I can combine with the idea that I am super busy like you said, but I am telling you guys the model of girls flip floping between the two extremes is very accurate.
It is a little hard to explain but it is very there. Like the girls are either like super eager to please or they like treat you like you are a nobody.
I mean, I have been on dates with probably several 100 women, approached several thousand. Seen all sorts of wild stuff, in terms of how women can behave.
I feel like society kind of brainwashes guys to be like sheep and view women as like these super innocent people that need to be babied. But I guess when you have as much experience as I have, it is pretty wild just seeing like the rapid changes, how a girl can be so sweet or sensitive to herself but they can have no concern for your feelings so quickly.
I mean most guys I know who have dated a lot recognize this.
I am sure this sounds kind of negative because we have been taught that. But I want to stress I really like women, but just having a grounding in a practical understanding of how things work allows for better relationships. AS - again, when I am using a mental model I would use with a male friend like, oh I should respect her time. Time and again the girl has immediately changed her behaviour towards me in a very negative way. Like getting less responsive changing to "I'll let you know" versus yes etc.
Basically I think women jump between two distinct categories in their feelings :
1) They are going after a guy they can not get, and are in competition for him with other women who are more desirable than her.
2) He is a guy who is pursuing her.
I notice women have like very very little respect for guys they think are into them, and know they have, like it is wild.
So, being in category 1 is crucial. BUT the key is why category one is good - is as a guy I feel compassion for women, like if a woman is vulnerable, I'll want to care about her.
SO - the solution is, to ensure I fall into category 1 and act as if I am much more important than the girl.
Again, I feel like I keep qualifying my answer, but I mean, this is what actually works for dating. The dating world is crazy now a days. Most guys go on zero dates in a year and other guys are dating all the women. I have been in the latter camp and again I'll say it is shocking how differently women can treat you based on your perceived status. Like it is insane and there is no way to describe the reality with honesty in a whitewashed PC way.
I guess for me I also have to balance, because I really appreciate the kind words and positive outlook. But at the same time I notice I am kind of trying to censor and qualify the way things really are.
I guess sometimes I get frustrated because I have soooo much freaking experience, and like other friends I have who have been on the side of like dating lots of girls 100% agree.
But then I slip into the wrong way from time to time. But to really get results having an accurate model of the world is necessary.
To be fair though, I guess one way to put it is, for the dating life I want, this is an accurate and necessary model. But for others it may not be, like idk in smaller cities, or meeting girls in class etc. I meet general high in demand girls, they are being hit up on social media and stuff constantly, so there really is no in between of like " oh I think he is okay" the girl either fears losing you, or you are quickly forgotten and end up in the heaps of guys they have no respect for who are hitting them up on social media. I have heard how girls talk about guys hitting them up online and on social media, and yes it is literally all girls