Hello all,
I've been a silent reader for a few months now, but I decided to write a post. Please forgive my English, it's not my native language and I'm in a very weird state of mind right now.
I have the following questions:
1. does anyone know this (marked with * below) (extreme(?)) form of PE? So far I have never read anything about it here
2. does anyone have a concrete plan for the pelvic exercises? So far I find only single exercises for free
My Story:
MO since I was about 10½, PMO since about 11½ then irregularly and (as far as I can dimly remember) nothing harder. That in turn started ca at age 14, when the frequency also increased.
In the time I ran after a classmate already for some months, with which I had however no chance and landed in the Friendzone. I used to think a lot of myself, encouraged by music, which has always been a big part of my life, I was convinced that I was just too smart for this world and that God had it in for me. I wasn't bullied (too often), but still I somehow slipped into depression because of the overall situation.
Sure, a lot of it was due to puberty, but it dragged on and on and on. So while I was PMOing regularly at 17 (5-25 times a week, mostly shortly ones in the evenings before I went to sleep), my friends around me were starting to have their first "serious" relationships. I continued to run after my (now former) classmate. In the meantime I discovered alcohol and weed for myself, which intensified the cycle of depression, suicidal thoughts and talk of the great unique love. In between I had some isolated things going on (making out at parties, driving across the country, because one promised oneself the great love etc.) but never anything that went beyond kissing.
*
Exactly here we already come to the first point, which has remained until today: I ejaculate partly already before I see the other person or if I greet it only or just while making out - mostly however without Boner.
At 19, I then met someone on Tinder, with whom I even had a relationship for a short time, but also initially without sexual background. We broke up because I had become too numb emotionally through porn, regular alcohol and weed consumption, as well as gambling. In the meantime, there was also much harder content in the porn, but I felt worse and worse after PMO.
After a few months we decided to meet again. We then had a f+ until about half a year ago (with some (contact) interruptions mostly demanded by me), wos also became significantly more sexual, however I always had PE (s.a.) and PIED in her presence. Sometimes it was better, sometimes less but even when he was hard, it didn't stay that way for long. So there was no sex in the sense of PIV. During the whole time I treated her extremely shitty (except when I was with her), maybe that's why it didn't work, even when I tried it with sildenafil. We are now only friends, but I now realize that I really loved her back then and not only (as previously believed) convinced me. It just sucks when I see how much my addictions get me into shit. But anyway, I just try to be a better person in the future (especially towards her. She has a boyfriend now and things are going really well for her, which makes me extremely happy to see her so happy).
In the meantime I still struggle with depressive phases but to a much lesser extent than back then, I have already accepted many things from before and understood why I acted the way I did. However, I also struggle with dissociation (primely time and memories and my addictions. Weed I have since 3 years except for 4-5 times a year let be, similar to gambling. Alcohol I drink for it all the more, in the last three months it has flattened again, but is slowly picking up speed again. I have already stopped smoking several times in vain.
Since I want to get rid of my PIED, I quit PMO about 3 months ago, since the last 2 years were pretty extreme in terms of frequency, but slowly only softer content. I have no problems with it so far, but was also already with Weed so.
MO I have at the beginning less, whereupon I also had regular 80% boner, however, after the last time sildenafil (where I had one day several 100% boner), go again only very irregularly and relatively short 75% boner.
Last month I met three times with a woman and took Sildenafil each time. The first time i blocked because we were at a festival, the other two times i had a max 60-70% Boner, for medium-length cowgirl and short Missionari position, however, it was enough. It won't get serious between us but for now, everything fine
Currently I try at least 2 times a week to go to the gym and slowly also meditate and pelvic exercises in my everyday life to incorporate and do regularly.
I've been a silent reader for a few months now, but I decided to write a post. Please forgive my English, it's not my native language and I'm in a very weird state of mind right now.
I have the following questions:
1. does anyone know this (marked with * below) (extreme(?)) form of PE? So far I have never read anything about it here
2. does anyone have a concrete plan for the pelvic exercises? So far I find only single exercises for free
My Story:
MO since I was about 10½, PMO since about 11½ then irregularly and (as far as I can dimly remember) nothing harder. That in turn started ca at age 14, when the frequency also increased.
In the time I ran after a classmate already for some months, with which I had however no chance and landed in the Friendzone. I used to think a lot of myself, encouraged by music, which has always been a big part of my life, I was convinced that I was just too smart for this world and that God had it in for me. I wasn't bullied (too often), but still I somehow slipped into depression because of the overall situation.
Sure, a lot of it was due to puberty, but it dragged on and on and on. So while I was PMOing regularly at 17 (5-25 times a week, mostly shortly ones in the evenings before I went to sleep), my friends around me were starting to have their first "serious" relationships. I continued to run after my (now former) classmate. In the meantime I discovered alcohol and weed for myself, which intensified the cycle of depression, suicidal thoughts and talk of the great unique love. In between I had some isolated things going on (making out at parties, driving across the country, because one promised oneself the great love etc.) but never anything that went beyond kissing.
*
Exactly here we already come to the first point, which has remained until today: I ejaculate partly already before I see the other person or if I greet it only or just while making out - mostly however without Boner.
At 19, I then met someone on Tinder, with whom I even had a relationship for a short time, but also initially without sexual background. We broke up because I had become too numb emotionally through porn, regular alcohol and weed consumption, as well as gambling. In the meantime, there was also much harder content in the porn, but I felt worse and worse after PMO.
After a few months we decided to meet again. We then had a f+ until about half a year ago (with some (contact) interruptions mostly demanded by me), wos also became significantly more sexual, however I always had PE (s.a.) and PIED in her presence. Sometimes it was better, sometimes less but even when he was hard, it didn't stay that way for long. So there was no sex in the sense of PIV. During the whole time I treated her extremely shitty (except when I was with her), maybe that's why it didn't work, even when I tried it with sildenafil. We are now only friends, but I now realize that I really loved her back then and not only (as previously believed) convinced me. It just sucks when I see how much my addictions get me into shit. But anyway, I just try to be a better person in the future (especially towards her. She has a boyfriend now and things are going really well for her, which makes me extremely happy to see her so happy).
In the meantime I still struggle with depressive phases but to a much lesser extent than back then, I have already accepted many things from before and understood why I acted the way I did. However, I also struggle with dissociation (primely time and memories and my addictions. Weed I have since 3 years except for 4-5 times a year let be, similar to gambling. Alcohol I drink for it all the more, in the last three months it has flattened again, but is slowly picking up speed again. I have already stopped smoking several times in vain.
Since I want to get rid of my PIED, I quit PMO about 3 months ago, since the last 2 years were pretty extreme in terms of frequency, but slowly only softer content. I have no problems with it so far, but was also already with Weed so.
MO I have at the beginning less, whereupon I also had regular 80% boner, however, after the last time sildenafil (where I had one day several 100% boner), go again only very irregularly and relatively short 75% boner.
Last month I met three times with a woman and took Sildenafil each time. The first time i blocked because we were at a festival, the other two times i had a max 60-70% Boner, for medium-length cowgirl and short Missionari position, however, it was enough. It won't get serious between us but for now, everything fine
Currently I try at least 2 times a week to go to the gym and slowly also meditate and pelvic exercises in my everyday life to incorporate and do regularly.