Escape and never come back

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 9

One thing I've realized about me is that, after days of hard urges, I have days where I'm given a break. And also the evenings are the easiest for me, I rarely experience difficult urges. So, if I could use those things in my advantage, I might have a chance.

There is a way out from every situation.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 10

It's easy to know what day I'm on because the streak follows the calendar :LOL: Even though I wanted in December to have success in January, it's still a little unbelievable that I have 10 days without mistakes, given the fact that December was a disaster in terms of porn recovery. I kept relapsing. On day 6 I was making plans to jerk off to porn but I resisted. What I've realized is that if I don't act on the urgency that urges create, later or another day I look back and thank myself for not doing it. It goes like this: Now I could want porn so bad but 2 hours later I reinforce my decision to keep going, look back at that time when I wanted porn and say: "Man, it's great I didn't do it because now I don't want to do it anymore". You feel me?
 

Chris1986

Active Member
Congrats on reaching 10 days man.
I think when you resist urges and look back at how you spent that time instead is also a motivator.
Something that I hate to look back on how much time I lost to acting out. I think its empowering to gain all this extra time in life that we can use on more meaningful activities.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
By the way, I felt absolutely miserable until day 7 and since then I don't anymore. I haven't felt that lethargy for the last days. I feel noticeable better. Also, 10 days sober.
Congrats on reaching 10 days man.
I think when you resist urges and look back at how you spent that time instead is also a motivator.
Something that I hate to look back on how much time I lost to acting out. I think its empowering to gain all this extra time in life that we can use on more meaningful activities.
Thanks bro! It's true. All the time wasted edging to porn. But not only that, it's also the time "wasted" somehow because of having no drive after binges, feeling lethargic etc.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I guess the rollercoaster discussed by a lot people is true. I was alright in the morning then in the afternoon I entered a deep depressive episode. Then in the evening I was better again. It's nuts, man. That kind of deep depression like, I don't know, back in high school. It's a struggle.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 11

I guess when you use PMO as a form of medicine, when you don't have it available anymore, all the problems become very palpable, they come right to hit you in the head and take you down in the mud. I've been feeling depressed and completely lonely in my suffering for the past 2 days. I also have 11 days without drinking so yes, since the beginning of this year I've been abstaining from both, alcohol is another medicine for me so both not being available left me right in the storm.
 

logicprox

Active Member
Never feels good to have to come face to face with our problems. But only when we face them do we have the opportunity to fix them. And they can all be fixed. You've got this.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Never feels good to have to come face to face with our problems. But only when we face them do we have the opportunity to fix them. And they can all be fixed. You've got this.
It's the truth. I kept myself medicated with porn and alcohol and my problems were at arm's length all the time, they were there but their energy was faint. I stopped alcohol and porn and now they're beating me up as we speak. It's like one of those Rocky movies, I'm getting beaten the hell out and I'm yet to find a way to win.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 13

Very depressed. Like back in college. I don't know how much I can resist without PMO and alcohol. Yesterday evening at 11 PM I was depressed as fuck. I ended up binge eating to try to avoid binge drinking or binge PMO. I don't know how people can get those long streaks without PMO. Maybe you have better lives than me.
 

Orbiter

Well-Known Member
Stay focused Escape!

The binge eating and all that negative stuff that's going in your head is just part of the withdrawals. It doesn't mean anything and you're only sabotaging yourself by indulging in it.

What means something is you're almost half a month free from PMO and going strong.

Cut yourself some slack, keep doing what you're doing, keep racking up those days. Don't worry about your life. The priority here is quitting PMO and this is the first, big, fundamental step towards fixing it.

You got this!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Stay focused Escape!

The binge eating and all that negative stuff that's going in your head is just part of the withdrawals. It doesn't mean anything and you're only sabotaging yourself by indulging in it.

What means something is you're almost half a month free from PMO and going strong.

Cut yourself some slack, keep doing what you're doing, keep racking up those days. Don't worry about your life. The priority here is quitting PMO and this is the first, big, fundamental step towards fixing it.

You got this!
Thanks man. I appreciate the support.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 14

It's been probably the most difficult streak I've ever had. And I can't tell exactly why. I am absolutely miserable. 14 days without alcohol too. Not being able to numb myself anymore has put into spotlight very strongly my pathetic life. I'm going to try to improve it. I hope one day I can stop being miserable and lonely.
 

logicprox

Active Member
Hey you're crushing it. The fact that it's hard just makes it that more awesome. One thing I have been finding as I am finally letting myself face some of the problems that led me to PMO is that I don't have all the answers on how to fix them. Instead been doing a lot of research on them, finding books and stuff that discuss the issue and how to solve them, and books on how to change generally. Been helping me be a lot more hopeful about fixing things because I actually am able to develop science based action plans. And I do think it's working slowly but surely.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Hey you're crushing it. The fact that it's hard just makes it that more awesome. One thing I have been finding as I am finally letting myself face some of the problems that led me to PMO is that I don't have all the answers on how to fix them. Instead been doing a lot of research on them, finding books and stuff that discuss the issue and how to solve them, and books on how to change generally. Been helping me be a lot more hopeful about fixing things because I actually am able to develop science based action plans. And I do think it's working slowly but surely.
Thanks for advice.
 
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