Escape and never come back

downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
Really great to hear this, man! Replacing bad habits with things that you want to spend time on. And yeah, you have to keep at it for a while but eventually it sticks. Luckily, just like the things we're trying to quit, I think the good habits can be addictive as well.

I've also started doing some bodyweight exercises lately, to me it feels good to be more in control of your body. Or I guess, like you say, it may not feel good in the moment but eventually it will.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Nice job getting out there @Escapeandnevercomeback and doing a little exercise. I know for me it's hard sometimes, but it's always worth it.
After hearing how my life is, it's definitely cringe, you can say it's embarrassing.
Everyone has looked at their life and thought this at one point or another. It is what it is. Hell, even Julius Caesar had this happened to him when looking at a statue of Alexander the Great!

And as far as being a man who loves your habits and has a hard time breaking free from them (either from being on the spectrum or not), I hear you, it can be tough sometimes and greatly stress inducing to make a change to anything. And as guy who personally has the same problem when it comes to that kind of stress, I can sympathize. I have learned though that once you get another habit going (hopefully a good one) the same phenomenon happens, so that when you don't do the new habit, you also feel stressed out, thus, you continue with it.

Best man
 

Skittelz

Active Member
Hey man, remember that being "on the spectrum" in your case, or "bipolar" in my case does NOT mean there is anything wrong with either of us. It just means we are different than the rest, so we stand out. That's actually a good thing bro. Stars stand out, so do beautiful flowers. I wouldn't want to be like the rest of the masses, I mean, sure I would "fit in" better but I wouldn't have the personality that sets me apart. Same with you, I like you and what you have to say because it is different -- most people on here are saying the same shit all day, but you bring something different.

Lamborghinis and Ferraris are also different from "normal" cars, and they require different maintenance/care. But you don't hear anyone say that they are defective or have something wrong with them.

As far as drinking goes, you said you wished you could "drink a bottle of vodka and just chill". Have you considered marijuana? I don't know if it is legal where you live, so there's that. But I have found it to be a good alternative to alcohol. I don't use it every day, but on a weekly basis an edible really helps me find peace. It's a good way to "take a break" from life's stress in such a way that doesn't cause someone to become violent or feel like shit the next day. It's not for everyone, I'll give you that, but maybe food for thought?

Anyway, you did great by getting out of the house, and exercising was more positivity on top of it. Good job brother. That's the shit that needs to happen. Instead of "removing" alcohol, "replace" it.

Keep that ball rolling man, and stay positive. The pain is temporary, I promise you this
 

Skittelz

Active Member
Also, my little sister is autistic. And she's an awesome person, and I love her very much. She is very set in certain routines and habits, and struggles to form new ones. So I understand what you mean. But, she's a beautiful flower who stands out because she is different.

Be your own beautiful flower
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Really great to hear this, man! Replacing bad habits with things that you want to spend time on. And yeah, you have to keep at it for a while but eventually it sticks. Luckily, just like the things we're trying to quit, I think the good habits can be addictive as well.

I've also started doing some bodyweight exercises lately, to me it feels good to be more in control of your body. Or I guess, like you say, it may not feel good in the moment but eventually it will.
Hey man.

I'm so out of shape that bodyweight exercises by this point are more than enough. To give you an example, I've been doing this for 3 days and by now I can't do 1 pull-up and I can only do 5 push-ups (with correct form, many people don't use correct form and when you use correct form they are harder). So this could give you an idea where I'm at. This is the result of a bedroom lifestyle. If it hadn't been for this job, I would've been a legit Hikikomori.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Nice job getting out there @Escapeandnevercomeback and doing a little exercise. I know for me it's hard sometimes, but it's always worth it.

Everyone has looked at their life and thought this at one point or another. It is what it is. Hell, even Julius Caesar had this happened to him when looking at a statue of Alexander the Great!

And as far as being a man who loves your habits and has a hard time breaking free from them (either from being on the spectrum or not), I hear you, it can be tough sometimes and greatly stress inducing to make a change to anything. And as guy who personally has the same problem when it comes to that kind of stress, I can sympathize. I have learned though that once you get another habit going (hopefully a good one) the same phenomenon happens, so that when you don't do the new habit, you also feel stressed out, thus, you continue with it.

Best man
Thanks man.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Unfortunately, I relapsed again, and I wanted to continue with the abstinence however I gave in to the extreme urges that I usually get with hangovers. Yesterday evening I got drunk out cold. I started with a bottle of wine and continued with cognac. This is bullshit. I need to be more responsible with this.

Without seeing it coming, recently I realized that I am even more neurotic than I used to be. I am stressed the fuck out, I don't sleep well, I bothered more by the things that used to bother me a little bit in the past. One of my "symptoms" is Misophonia. I've had this for as long as I can remember. Basically I'm bothered by certain sounds, words stuff like that, loud volumes (they could be whatever, I can't listen to loud music for example). It's often given in the list of symptoms for Autism Spectrum. Well, recently, I've realized that I literally follow sounds from outside for like 2-3 hours after I lie in bed for sleep. I went on vacation some months ago and I couldn't sleep for 2 days straight and I had to come back home, I got drunk and it was the only way I could sleep, actually fall asleep but what happens with me and alcohol is that it takes away my problem with falling asleep but I feel tired the next day as if I didn't sleep at all). And I have about 2 weeks off from work, a little more than 2 weeks of vacation, I literally got drunk every 2 days and binged PMO every 2 days but actually right now I'm coming from drinking for 3 days straight.

So the situation is pretty depressing. As I mentioned in a previous post, when I was in college I started living this "Bedroom lifestyle", basically only going out for the absolute necessary things: go to classes at college by that point and days when I got drunk with a guy from my class in high school. If it wasn't for those type of things, I would've probably be a legitimate Hikikomori guy. I absolutely wanted to isolate myself from the whole world. As a consequence, my life these days is shit. It's going to take a lot of work if I decided I wanted to change this, just like the therapist told me in the first session. I'm literally on vacation and I am not enjoying shit. I feel stressed the fuck out.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
This is fuckin ridiculous. 2 PMOS. Why do I do this shit every god damn time? I'm on my free days or vacation like now and instead of recharging my battery, I binge porn and alcohol and go back to work a zombie. Every fuckin time. I go back to work feeling like shit, completely unmotivated and uninterested in anything and anybody. Not to forget to mention that I'm going back to work straight to night shifts...
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I'm going to quit drinking so I can get some success with my porn rebooting. The reason why I've been relapsing, despise me saying I was completely done with porn, was because for the past 2 weeks I've been drinking myself every 2 days but I also had a period of drinking for 3 days in a row. And I kept jerking off to porn drunk or hangovered. That's the problem. My mom saw my bottles and freaked out.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
The reason for a vacation is to reset, rest, recharge your battery so to speak etcetera. For me a vacation (and my free days in between working shifts) were for self-destructing myself with porn and alcohol and going back to work not better but worse, I went back to work a zombie. This time is not much different, as I'm coming from 2 weeks off work, I go to work on Tuesday right into 4 nights of working in a row (which I'm not too excited about) and I feel like absolute shit.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 2

So, here is the thing: When does motivational speech/Self-Help content produce results for you and when is it just "Mental masturbation"? And I like this term, mental masturbation, I believe it describes the situation perfectly: When motivational type of speech and self-help type of content are used for momentarily feeling good, feeling pumped-up, ready to rock and roll, ready to kill it this time, only to revert to your (bad) habits and routines 3 days later.

Self-help has become (like everything else) a business. People spend money on buying the next self-help book, next DVD, next seminar. Self-help and motivational speakers show their faces, talk the talk but they themselves don't walk the walk, a lot of them are unqualified to be self-help gurus because themselves don't do half of what they say. They have those brainstorming sessions on what to say to have an impact on people while they sitting on their ass not even going to the gym. I'm not saying that all of them are like that but some do and you have to be very careful who you follow.

This is an interesting video with Poker player Nick Vertucci talking about self-help.

 
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