Escape and never come back

[GBS]

Hi @Escapeandnevercomeback - I know you’re struggling a bit, pal. Look at it this way. The world record for abstinence is one day. Don’t try and do anymore than you can, but try and do one day without. Put blockers on your devices. Tell someone what you’re doing so you’re accountable. Make some time to do something else. Good luck.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Hi @Escapeandnevercomeback - I know you’re struggling a bit, pal. Look at it this way. The world record for abstinence is one day. Don’t try and do anymore than you can, but try and do one day without. Put blockers on your devices. Tell someone what you’re doing so you’re accountable. Make some time to do something else. Good luck.

You're probably right, man. It's just that I am depressed with not getting some significant streak of abstinence after all those years of trying. Thanks for support and advice.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Hey man it will become better. Try to set smaller goals, like 2 days without porn, if you achieve it try to extend the deadline, and you'll get there. Also, try not to be indoors as much as you do if you sit at home a lot and watch porn at home. Maybe it'll help.

Maybe that's the trick. It's just that I am depressed about trying for years and my best these days it's about 2 days... Thanks for support.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

I feel you man, it gets to that point where it isn’t even remotely fun or pleasurable, it’s just boring and disgusting and sad and you can tell you’re just going through the motions to soothe something. It sucks. I hope you feel better and get some relief from it soon.

That's exactly how it is. I haven't had fun with this shit for a long time. It's not working anymore for my problems. It's just some bullshit automatic thing I don't stop doing. Sometimes I see myself looking at that shit and I wonder why I'm there. Thanks for support.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

I have a streak of 3 days today but I am depressed and the survival mechanism of course it only knows how to comfort me through pmo and alcohol, that's why I feel tempted on and off, one moment I'm fine, the other moment I crave some edging or some bottle like crazy.

I am phukkin sick and tired of this god damn job. Since I got promoted, I am more stressed out, more depressed and my PMO consumption has gone way the fuck up. I know that people in general like promotions for more money but this is the kind of situation in which I wish I minded my business. Now it's too late.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

I relapsed after 5 days.

And relapse after 9 days no drink.

 

[96LostWanderer]

I relapsed after 5 days.

And relapse after 9 days no drink.

Back on the wagon, you can do this. 5 days was a nice little streak but I reckon you can beat it next time!

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Back on the wagon, you can do this. 5 days was a nice little streak but I reckon you can beat it next time!

I appreciate the support

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Day 0

Binged the last 3 days in a row...

 

[Orbiter]

I feel your pain man. I've taken on a new position as well and it can be overwhelming when struggling with addiction at the same time. Life happens and it isn't always helpful to recovery. Wishing you strength Escape. One day at a time.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

I feel your pain man. I've taken on a new position as well and it can be overwhelming when struggling with addiction at the same time. Life happens and it isn't always helpful to recovery. Wishing you strength Escape. One day at a time.

Hey man. That's exactly what it is. I had to find out the hard way that life keeps throwing things at me and me not addressing my issues more seriously has ended up catching up to me. This promotion didn't help because with promotions you usually are given more responsibility and I'm kind of stress out with this. I'm definitely sub-par at work because of my issues. Had I been stable, maybe I would've done better. I also don't sleep too well and that's an issue because I'm more tired at work and I work nights, actually the nights are the "bread" so to speak of this job, most action happens in the middle of the fucking night, that's one of the reason why I was not really excited about taking this job but at that time I was broke... There are definitely situations in which it doesn't help at all to battle mental health issues and addiction in the background while having to be optimal in the front. I don't know, I'll see what I can do. Stay strong, man. Keep grinding.

 

[Iwantthesecondchance]

Man, if you have a lot of stress at work, you have to walk in the fresh air after or before the job! Sitting at home and drinking alcohol or watching porn will only add stress, I know it on my own example (only porn). Make yourself go out once, and make it a habit.

 

[Orbiter]

This ^

There are a few of my colleagues who, being much more conscientious than myself, make this a part of their daily routine. I've been meaning to make this a part of my routine but have had difficulty making the time around my new hours.

There's a lot to be said for creating a 'buffer' of sorts between your life and your work and something like this could really make a difference over time.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

I have 2 days without PMO but I'm struggling big time. I have this sort of, what I like to call, "anxiety urges", not typical urges that I experience, it's more like craving comfort because of experiencing a lot of anxiety today. And I don't know how long I can resist. I binged my brains out 2 days ago. I'm very demoralized with all this shit. With my life in general. I keep myself stuck at this job.

 

[Iwantthesecondchance]

You are strong man, you got this! Continue fighting! Try to bring some small changes into your life maybe? Anything that you like or would like to try?

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

You are strong man, you got this! Continue fighting! Try to bring some small changes into your life maybe? Anything that you like or would like to try?

Oh yes, for sure! Quit my job! THAT I should try.

But anyway, thanks for the support and encouragement.

 

[96LostWanderer]

I have 2 days without PMO but I'm struggling big time. I have this sort of, what I like to call, "anxiety urges", not typical urges that I experience, it's more like craving comfort because of experiencing a lot of anxiety today. And I don't know how long I can resist. I binged my brains out 2 days ago. I'm very demoralized with all this shit. With my life in general. I keep myself stuck at this job.

I know what you mean about the anxiety urges. It's good for us to remember that ultimately addictive behaviour is contributing to our anxiety, not soothing it.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

I know what you mean about the anxiety urges. It's good for us to remember that ultimately addictive behaviour is contributing to our anxiety, not soothing it.

Hey man.

You're absolutely right. PMO doesn't get rid of those anxiety urges but that's what it always promises. It's ridiculous.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Day 0

I haven't posted in a while because since then I've been binging every day, 5 PMOs on average. Things are absolutely shit. How do I feel? I feel exactly what it looks like I should feel. I'm a zombie like this I painfully barely drag myself through the day, exhausted. I am not much functional.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Day 1

Binged yesterday 6 PMOs. Total zombie. Only slept for aprox 2 hours, been awake since 2 AM. Absolutely miserable. I feel like absolutely shit. And same fuckin idiot self-trapped at this job. The only reason I'm still there is because of me. Completely demoralized and unmotivated about life.