Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Day 0
PMOed today twice. I don't think I even want to stop.
PMOed today twice. I don't think I even want to stop.
Escape and never come back
- Thread starter Escapeandnevercomeback
- Start date
Iwantthesecondchance
Active Member
Hey man, I am sorry to hear about your struggles. How possible is it to find another job which will be better than the current one?
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Hey man.
You know, finding a job that could get me a similar salary is very unlikely. But after doing this for 6 years I've realized this is the wrong place for me. It has nothing to do with any ability or personality I have, it's a wrong field for me. And it's understandable why, it wasn't me who found this shit. It was just me accepting it. I was a loser, unemployed and broke, I was thrown a bone and I jumped on it. And it's not a matter of working here for 2 months and declaring I don't want to do this. It's been 6 fuckin years. I can say after 6 years that I shouldn't be here, I would give this job to anybody who is more suited for it, if I could, it would be fair for both the job and me. Look, I believe in the right person in the right place, even though it's more like an utopian idea, because a lot of people are in the wrong jobs for them (and for the jobs themselves).
But after doing this for 6 years of course I've fallen into that thing: I don't have some other skills or ideas, all I've known is this job. The longer you do it, the deeper you could get and there is the possibility of being harder to get out but it's not impossible. I just seriously need to find a skill or figure out where else to go because I'm fuckin depressed with this shit. No wonder that my PMO consumption has gone way the fuck up for cope. It's like every day that passes by makes me even more depressed that I have to go to this job. I'm just sick and tired of wishing my life away. I'm sick and tired of the circle of: "Yes, this is the last shift, now I have free days." Then I do "me" in the free days and they go by so quickly, before I know tomorrow I have to wake up at 5 AM to take back the set of shifts. I'm sick of going there and already wishing for the end of the shift. I'm sick of starting my set of shifts and already wishing it's the last shift. I'm sick of living for the last shift. I'm sick of working nights and early mornings. I'm sick of working in shifts. I'm becoming more and more uninterested in the job and it's not fair for the job, if you are not motivated anymore to do this you should just leave.
But this has always been the issue with my life, I've never had a solid plan. This is the reason why I work here. It's because I never had a clear idea that fits me better. And until I (hopefully) figure it out, I can't just quit. And this depresses me because I don't know how long it's going to take.
Anyway, thanks for support.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Day 0
Binged 5 PMOs today. Binge almost every day for a long time. It could be more than a year. I guess this sums it up. There isn't much to say. Everything could be understood from those 3 sentences.
Binged 5 PMOs today. Binge almost every day for a long time. It could be more than a year. I guess this sums it up. There isn't much to say. Everything could be understood from those 3 sentences.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Day 0
I have more than a month without alcohol, maybe a month and a week, I don't know, I haven't calculated exactly, no, actually that's how much it's been, a month and a week. But I've had at least 2 occasions when I wanted to drink real bad, one of them was today.
On the other hand, I've been binging PMO like crazy. I can't even go more than two days. And I don't know, maybe this alcohol abstinence has made my dopamine a little, very little bit more responsive which is not a good thing. I've been "enjoying" porn better the last two days which is not good at all. That's not the thing I want to enjoy...
I have more than a month without alcohol, maybe a month and a week, I don't know, I haven't calculated exactly, no, actually that's how much it's been, a month and a week. But I've had at least 2 occasions when I wanted to drink real bad, one of them was today.
On the other hand, I've been binging PMO like crazy. I can't even go more than two days. And I don't know, maybe this alcohol abstinence has made my dopamine a little, very little bit more responsive which is not a good thing. I've been "enjoying" porn better the last two days which is not good at all. That's not the thing I want to enjoy...
jonazo91
Well-Known Member
I just want to say, congrats on a month and a half without alcohol. That’s great and I’m proud of you. The “enjoyment” feeling of these things comes and goes, I think. Sometimes, I feel obsessed with porn, where other times, I can tell I just pulled it up on my phone out of sheer force of habit and I don’t even care to look at it. So I would just say don’t worry, it won’t be forever that you feel that enjoyment. Start small and see if you can get yourself a day without it, and then ask yourself if you feel like you still need it or miss it.